I hope everyone loses the world cup and then the universe explodes

I could really do with a reward or incentive

I hate to say it and I hate to know it but if you crave intimacy and deep relation you truly have to muster the courage to go first.

Something I forgot to mention here is that before even trying to rearrange what's happening 'out there' you muster the courage to go first within yourself. Everything you seek - give it first to yourself in sensation, in imagination. Don't be stingy with yourself. It doesn’t make sense to have a codependent relationship with reality or need appearances (how things appear from moment to moment) to validate you. This is fighting with shadows, that are ungraspable and bound to change. I think when you are approaching others from this false self/ego space that functions with the idea that 'you' are somewhat deficient, inferior, or lacking, you go within and address that. Your internal shifts are not happening in isolation - they're ripples in the same 'water' which everything is of

I want to keep living my life as a continual preparation of trust that the very next moment could be absolutely divine and astonishing. What’s that saying… destiny favors the prepared… I often come back to the question of if my wildest dreams came true tomorrow, what would I have to do today to be able to receive and live them? What state would I need to embody? I’m also often reminded of Florence Scovel Shinn saying, “One’s ships come in over a calm sea.”

I want to keep living my life as a continual preparation of trust that the very next moment could be absolutely divine and astonishing. What’s that saying… destiny favors the prepared… I often come back to the question of if my wildest dreams came true tomorrow, what would I have to do today to be able to receive and live them? What state would I need to embody? I’m also often reminded of Florence Scovel Shinn saying, “One’s ships come in over a calm sea.”

I think part of getting better is complete ego death. Like you’re not above setting a timer for 5 minutes and focusing on a task. You’re not above doing a very simple 3 minute workout to start. You’re not above reading for 10 minutes a day when you first get out of your reading slump, even if you used to read for hours. You’re not above starting slow and then building up to where you want to be/where you once were. What you are above is total inertia. Doing something really is better than doing nothing. Radically accept where you are, radically accept your limits, and go from there. Don’t let your ego get in the way.

I just hope we don’t have betraying ourselves for nothing in 2026

'i was holding on tight to something by any means necessary and one day i opened my hand and nothing was there'