Lit You A Candle In Every Cathedral Across Europe

tv show like grey's anatomy except they're veterinarians. all the soap opera drama but there's creatures all over the place. "is that a gerbil on your scrubs or are you just excited to see me" but it's actually the gerbil, he's a patient and we can't be having sex right now.

the characters still wax poetic via voiceover about how the surgery of the day is just like their own tumultuous personal lives but the surgery in question is like. neutering a bunch of kittens.

which is of course exactly like Dr. Riverbeans trying to decide if he wants to be a father. it's such a huge decision, and he just doesn't know what to do! if only someone had made the decision for him by gently anesthetizing him as a child and fucking. cutting his balls off.

little does he know that his girlfriend, hot livestock veterinarian Dr. Josta, is about to get kicked in the head by a horse patient so hard that she's in a coma for months because the actress needs time away to film a supporting role in the new live action polly pocket movie

meanwhile veterinary assistant Hermione (no relation to the wizard character) is desperately trying to hide the fact that her current love interest is a man who practices and unironically believes in "pet reiki" because her coworkers would never let her live it down

I want big drama for the humans but I don't want to get super emo with the animals, so this takes place in the most successful veterinary practice and no animals ever actually die during the episodes. we can get silly with it. Dr. Spud has a case with a great dane who swallowed a lit stick of dynamite and we see them later looking like a looney toon post-explosion grinning ear to ear and letting us know the dog was fine

#‘el pastel promedio tiene tres leches’ es en realidad un error estadístico. El pastel promedio tiene 0 leches. Leches Georg#quien vive en una cueva y absorbe 10.000 leches al día#es un valor atípico qeu no debería haberse contado (via @deathbycoldopen)

I don't speak Spanish but I understand every word

I appreciate 'adn' being preserved in the form of 'qeu', that's absolutely beautiful.

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

plot 150 words bed-sharing 200 words smut 800 words projecting my fears, insecurities, and anxieties onto a fictional character 9,356 words fluff 150 words someone who is good at fan fiction please help me budget my WIP, my family is dying

150 words of plot seems excessive.

thank you for the reasonable advice

theres like a guarantee that if someone’s url ends in “course” or “discourse” theyre an asshole

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

Its so sweet how you can see Brennan using Kelly to express his passion for making American Girl Doll's shoes

hey you. teenage girl writing in her diary. quit talking about the boy you have a crush on and start writing about the current political situation, the valuation of currencies, and the level of technology your people hold. your diary might be the only piece of evidence our society existed after nuclear war fries all of our data backups. future historians don't need to know about damian, they need at least a secondhand accounts of the great water wars and whether or not your leaders truly did worship a deity called "the free hand of the market"

sorry to interrupt your scrolling but, i hope life gets better for you.

me giving relationship advice: communicate or end it