Professional Functional Adult Impersonator

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

The chemical they put on ants and all the other ants think they're dead that's what happened to tumblr except the chemical is unmarketability

it's okay if you as a lesbian want to fuck the straight blonde popstar but you can't be pretending she's a lesbian too girl at least make it a lesbian corruption kink or some shit

knowing that the past tense of "hang" is "hanged" when it's a method of execution can be very entertaining because you'll be watching a horror movie and someone goes "local legend says a woman was hung in these woods" and you're like "👀 good for her I guess"

me giving yousa the absolute best ass i can

i keep forgetting that your oc is yousa and definitely read this as jar jar trying his best to fuck

Why did 4 months of this year go by in like a week

they call me the endurer the way i endure and endure and endure and endure and well u get it

FUCKKKKKKK what if something bad happened and I forgot to worry about it

you CANNOT read too much old timey fiction because I was playing Raft with the lads this morning and without a THOUGHT said we could sail over to another island "if the wind would consent to blow" & let me tell you. This did not pass by unremarked.

hate how they forced bugs bunny into anti-weed propaganda in the 90s, as if bugs bunny wouldn’t love smoking weed 

To be perfectly fair, bugs bunny would also love taking money for starring in anti-weed propaganda and then using said money to buy weed

bugs bunny is not real 

life is so hard when you love being competent and knowledgeable and helpful but you also love slacking off