Perpetually uninspired.

potato battery? no. potato usually fried by itself. potato starchy enough to go in oil without batter

Potato battery? no, it only threatened you, which is assault

yes. good. fried potato taste very good with a salt

Number of times I have said “you can’t do that white baby” to my actual child: not zero

"i ate too many cookies" is truly an ageless problem. an unlearnable lesson.

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

realistically i dont think i fit in anywhere, but im just trying to enjoy life for what it is

HOW TO BE GOTH IN HEAT WAVE

It feels insane that the first draft of this book took like 6 years. But the second draft will only take like 6 months.

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

it really is quite bad for your military to have an image of itself as a warrior class. what you really want is for your soldiers to think of themselves as boring professionals who will fill out a report form if someone gets a little too warrior ethos out there

Standing directly in the doorway to achieve peak mental health.