Licensed Bisexual Disaster

I had a sales woman in furniture store try and tell me not to buy a hot bubblegum pink loveseat because she wanted me to “think about the future”

when I first bought my house, I announced my decision to paint my bedroom purple. I had wanted a purple bedroom for thirty damn years, you fucking bet I was gonna have one now. My friends decided, for some reason, that I meant what one of them referred to as “14 year old girl purple” (through what’s wrong with the colors a 14 year old girl chooses, I don’t know, even if they’re not what I want as an adult). They didn’t believe me until they saw the color on the actual wall, even thought they helped me pick out paints. My mother, meanwhile, decided to get worried that if I painted my bedroom a “dark purple”, it would be “depressing”. As if, with an entire house to live in, I would spend all my time in the bedroom, which I wanted to be dark because I would be sleeping in there. In the damn dark.

I’m thirty and my first big furniture purchase was a custom coffin shaped coffee table that opens up and is lined with purple crushed velvet. I would have loved it at 13 and I love it now. Growing up doesn’t mean you have to abandon what makes you happy.

GROWING UP DOESN’T

I have told this story before, and I will tell it again, because I am An Old now and repeating stories forever is our prerogative:

This is the door to

I’m 35. I have been told my place looks like maybe a LP fan lives there.

When I first moved into my place, I painted the spare room, that eventually became my office, lime green, the kind of lime green that glows down the corridor when I open the door - The colour was only available as an “accent colour” in the section of paints intended for children’s playrooms, and in the shop I got a lot of “Oh your son will love this!” And from people I knew I got a lot of “Oh well, you’re 21 now, you’re basically a teenager, this is a terrible idea, you’ll hate it and need to pull out all the furniture to repaint it.” And I have to report that I am now in my forties and my office still looks like this, and it makes me smile every time I see it.

this is such a modern idea, too

The examples of decorated homes above are both either modern or upper class, which makes it easy to dismiss because “sure the rich people have beautiful homes” and “sure, modern middle-class people have lots of color in their homes.”

I painted rooms in my house these colors and some people had doubts:

My wife painted the walls of my studio ORANGE. Glorious sunset orange.

You’re very welcome!

It's funny how differently people can talk about the same subjects while using the same words. I recall I once told my boyfriend, something along the lines of "if I don't have the time to wake up right before being expected to function, it's going to throw me off for the whole day", which I had learned as a kid by having family with no patience for people who wake up slowly. My sister is the type who snaps awake like flicking on a light switch, eyes flick open and she's 100% operational. And because of the way the household worked it was her job to make sure that I'm awake and up to get to school in time.

YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART

I was looking up directions somewhere and...

I maintain that "necromantic third wheel" is just Emerson Cod

I need you young people to know it was almost never this hot when I was a child. Millennials and Gen Xers are all nostalgic and excited about summer because it was about ten to twenty degrees cooler to experience it back then!

ship was just in the bathroom and ran out of toilet paper, but I was across the house with a podcast playing, so when I didn't reply to their discord message about it they pulled out speechify on their phone and had it play "babe I have made a horrible mistake can you bring me toilet paper," out of the speakers. but,