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@ladydandd

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This is the best D&D
History is in the making.
Silence is violence.
What role will YOU play: Hero or NPC?
āIām in my neighbors yard squawking to my Other neighbors bird. I have no idea what Iām wearing, an apron? Crocs? Glass of wine! #selfieisolationā
Sandra Ohās twitterĀ Ā Ā

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Could someone tell my why the FUCk weāre getting a video game calledĀ āLord of the Rings: Gollumā Gollum? Gollum???Ā You wanna play as Gollum!!?? fucking GOLLUM??? I donāt care how much you love Gollum as a character, does that mean you wanna play as him snatching babies from cribs and eating raw fish for 8 hours?? Are you SURE??
it is a beautiful day in the misty mountains and you are a horrible gollum
Ā ā¦. ok Iāve changed my mind, game of the year 2021
D&D Leggings
Paolas Pixels on Etsy

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Some things heard during D&D.
Oh god all of these are gold
@teysakarlov
please remind me to roll for erotic literature if weāre ever in a library
āAt least I died stealthilyā
DnD is like Whoās line with swords. You never know what anyone is gonna come up with
@megatraven Guess which one made me think of you!
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!
Rations for various RPG Races
[[ Source. Original creator: wats6831. Additional information and images linked under each one. ]]
Universal:
Homemade artisan herb bread, home grown and dried apples and prunes, uncured beef sausage, munster cheese. Made a small bag from cheesecloth and tied it closed.
Discussion thread here.
Dwarf:
Garlic chicken livers, smoked and peppered cheese, spiced pork sausages, hard tack, dried vegetables, dried wild mushrooms.
Discussion thread here.
Elf:
Top left to right: Evereskan Honey Comb, Elven Travel Bread (Amaretto Liquer Cake with custom swirls), Lurien Spring Cheese (goat cheese with garlic, salt, spices and shallots), Delimbyr Vale Smoked Silverfin (Salmon), Honey Spiced Lichen (Kale Chips), and Silverwood Pine Nuts.
Discussion thread here.
Halfling:
From upper left: āHoneytackā Hard tack honey cakes, beef sausage, pork sausage mini links, mini whole wheat toast, cranberry cheddar cheese mini wedge, mini pickles, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, lower right is my homemade ātravel cakeā muesli with raisins, golden prunes, honey, eggs and cream.
Discussion thread here.
Half-Orc:
Wrapped in cheesecloth and tied in burlap package. Forest strider drumsticks, molasses sweet wheat bread āblack strapā, aged Munster, hard boiled eggs, mixed wild nuts.
Discussion thread here.
Orc:
Orcs arenāt known for their great cuisine. Orcs prefer foods that are readily available (whatever can be had by raiding), and portable with little preparation, though they have a few racial delicacies. Toughs strips of lean meat, bones scavenged from recent kills, and dark coarse bread make up the bulk of common orc rations.Fire roasted rothe femur (marrow is a rare treat) [beef femur], Strips of dried meat (of unknown origin) [homemade goose jerky], foraged nuts, only edible by orcsā¦.nut cracker tusks [brazil nuts], coarse black bread, made with whatever grains can be pillaged [black sesame bread], Pungent peppers [Habanero peppers stuffed with smoked fish and olives].
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Gnome:
Pan fried Delimbyr smelt, spiced goat cheese (paprika crusted hand pressed Fontina), Gnome shortbread (savory pistachio), glass travel jar filled with Secomber Red (wine), hard boiled quail eggs packed in rolled oats (to keep safe), dried figs from Calimshan, and Southwood smoked goat sausage (blood sausage).
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Lizardfolk:
Lizardfolk are known to be omnivores, forage for a surprising variety of foods found within the confines of their marshy environs, in this case the Lizard Marsh near Daggerford. Fresh caught boiled Delimbyr Crayfish on wild chives, coastal carrageen moss entrapping estuary brine shrimp (irish moss, dried brine shrimp), Brackish-Berries (blackberries), Blackened Dart-Frog legs (frog legs) on spring sprouts (clover sprouts), roasted bog bugs on a stick!
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Drow:
From top left: Menzoberranzan black truffle rothe cheese (Black Knight Tilsit), Donigarten Moss Snails (Escargot in shallot butter sauce), Blind cave fish caviar in mushroom caps (Lumpfish caviar), faerzress infused duck egg imported from the surface Realms (Century egg), Black velvet ear fungus (Auricularia Black Fungus Mushroom).
More images here. Discussion thread here.
Drow will also eat A Fucking Rock if itās goth enough
#this rules to such a ridiculous degree im aghast
you know what im gonna reblog this to my main as well as my aesthetic blog because this post kicked my ass
Tieflings eat pizza rolls, red wine, and gummy worms.
Further tales from my brotherās DnD adventures: one of his friends had a character that was two gnomes in a trench coat. Even the DM didnāt know (despite the playerās comment that his character had abnormally short arms, and his penchant for asking WHERE enemies had landed a hit) until one of them died.
After this made its way to reddit, the players involved found it and added their two cents, which they then gave permission for me to share. So, the story from their perspective:
i wanna play a tabletop RPG where my six stats are
gumption
chutzpah
moxie
childlike wonder
the cut of my jib
and a certain je ne sais quoi
Battling a blue dragon (Jim Roslof, D&D Player Character Record Sheets, TSR, 1980)

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god outta nowhere i just remembered the time i was in a game where the dm didnāt read one of the characterās backstories carefully enough and allowed someone to make it all the way to the final session with the hidden ability to turn into a motorcycle
lydia you cant just say stuff like this and then not explain exactly how this was performed
k so. one of the first big games i played with my current meatspace gaming group was a really excellent post-apocalyptic homebrew game. really excellent. but it was also wild as hell, had a lot of players, and was the dmās first big game, so it was at times a real exercise in controlled chaos. and my good bro willieā¦my bro willie was kind of at the brunt of it. both in that he always to this day plays really chaotic characters that canāt avoid trouble, and also in that due to that and other misfortunes he died like every other session towards the end. he went through five or six characters by the time the campaign was over. one didnāt even last a full session. it was remarkable to witness actually. but anyway, towards the end, the dm was fairly overwhelmed and dealing with a lot of other characters doing epic-level wasteland nonsense, and kinda threw reading willies backstories to the wayside. which was unfortunate for him, because willie hails from theĀ ā3 pages or moreā school of backstories, and by this time in the campaign was coping with his charactersā constant deaths by planning backup character well in advance, to the point where they all had intricate, complex connections to each previous character. so when he dies due to circumstances out of his control before the very last few sessions (the firstĀ but certainly not last character death he had due to betrayal: willie im still sorry) its not too suprising that he comes back as this brooding edgy darth vader guy with a five page backstory about how he had obtained a horrific nanosuit cyborg body, and the dm approves it, but sure as hell doesnāt read the whole thing bc heās planning the final confrontation at this point.
cut to the middle of the incredibly serious final session, where his character and my character and my characterās children are fighting for their lives to escape the facility where they are currently caught in the crossfire between a raging, dying artificial intelligence and religiously zealous psychic juggernaut (long story). the dm is giving us a very bleak countdown of how long we have to get out before the whole place collapses but his character just turns to mine with aĀ ādonāt worry, just trust meā and willie smiles, looks up at the dm, and is like,Ā āi activiate my nanite body and turn into a motorcycleā, which unfortunately was completely street legal with what heād detailed in his backstory, so thatās exactly what he fuckin did, as the dm put his head in his hands.
end result: we survived.
this is my favorite 3 paragraphs ive ever read thank you lydia