I excel at listening

* Are elephants scared of mice? (They only did that because they were in Africa and had access to elephants.)

* Will a bull run amok in a china shop?

* Is it better to run zig-zag or straight when chased by an alligator?

I love these because NONE of them turned out the way they expected. They went into all three with pre-conceived ideas of how it would go, and each time they "failed." Elephants WILL cower from mice. A bull moves very gingerly through a china shop. It doesn't matter how you run because ALLIGATORS WON'T CHASE YOU.

And each time, they reacted with just... pure glee. "Holy shit, we were wrong! Oh my god! This is great! We were so wrong!"

my wife: well what DID you think a brothel was

It's about to hit us here in Oklahoma and the rest of the southern states that are not used to this level of cold.

Please take this seriously if you live somewhere this is going to impact significantly.

I just sincerely hope texas' power grid doesn't fail them again.

but at least a small blessing is that this isn't bringing much precipitation with it and the worst of it will be the wind.

If you are in this swath of area and have never experienced this type of cold before please take whatever precautions you can. in extreme circumstances like this the best way to do that is to isolate activity to one or 2 rooms of the house that have as few outward facing windows as possible, make sure you wear lots of layers and even insulate those layers by putting wadded up paper between them, keep your extremities covered, keep your face covered, if you have blankets or pillows to spare and non-carpet flooring lay those out to help insulate the room, you can hang bath towels in front of any windows to help absorb the cold. Please limit going out to as little as possible, and if you have to make sure anything that can be covered is indeed covered, if you have to wear denim please layer something underneath it, wear ur heaviest fabrics, double up on socks and gloves if you need to, if you can get thermal underwear you can always layer those. When in highschool and had to wait at the buss I would often microwave some potatoes or perogis and keep them in my pockets to warm my hands as I waited for the bus. Keep extra blankets and candles and clothes in ur car. For whatever reason if you get wet and you're outside, please find somewhere to get inside while you dry. If you live in an area that's getting this and you don't have winter clothes like scarves or mitts take whatever thick insulating cloth you can find and use that instead. it might not be comfortable but it will be better than frostbite, I promise.

yesterday was a funny day on twitter XD