i was in the middle before i knew that i had begun

Daniel knows he’s an asshole. He’s potentially the most self-aware character. He knows he hurt his ex-wives and his daughters. He understands that they hate him and he frequently validates their decision to do so. He gets it. He’s not hiding from his mistakes. He knows what he’s done. People leave him because anyone sane would. There’s no malice there. He knows who he is.

But here is this beautiful, ancient creature who has lived through some of the most incredible periods of human innovation in modern history, who lived in Renaissance Venice and witnessed Paris return to its former glory after World War 2 , who has been exposed to some of the most important works of art in history, who has had so much time to absorb humanity and all its most impressive creations, and this creature tells him he’s in love with him, some random kid he met half a century ago by chance.

And not just that he’s in love with him. That he was actively in love with him while he was doing all the terrible things. None of it ever mattered. Armand has seen every shade of Daniel’s soul, more than anyone else ever has, and he is in love with him because of it. It is one thing to have your mistakes exposed, it’s another entirely for someone to see them and decide to stay.

"is this real? /gen" — i thought /gen meant "general" for ages. i would not be able to understand this on first sight a few years ago and is thus ineffective

"is this real? (genuine question)" — i fully understand this without issue

Autobiography of Red by Anne Carson (149 pages)

Brokeback Mountain by Annie Proulx (58 pages)

Box Hill by Adam Mars-Jones (112 pages)

It Lasts Forever and Then It's Over by Anne de Marcken (128 pages)

Minor Detail by Adania Shibli (105 pages)

Grief Is the Thing with Feathers by Max Porter (128 pages)

Cain by José Saramago (159 pages)

Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto (160 pages)

Rien ne va plus by Margarita Karapanou (192 pages)

Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin (169 pages)

Bluets by Maggie Nelson (99 pages)

The Words That Remain by Stênio Gardel (160 pages)

At Night All Blood Is Black by David Diop (145 pages)

A History of My Brief Body by Billy-Ray Belcourt (142 pages)

The White Book by Han Kang (157 pages)

This means, when I was up there today after looking after their cats, I got a baffled call from my father.

"honey". He said. "Why are you picking up sticks in the yard. Like go ahead but why."

Mom, in the background, as if this should explain everything; I told you sweetie it's the birch trees.

Dad; ......okay???

Mom; she probably wants them for dye.

Me; birch bark and twigs, dad. For dye.

Dad, sounding no less confused; my god you really just are your mother but younger

A example; someone just bought a run down house halfway between theirs and ours, so like half a block away. The guy working in it was deemed 'weird' by my parents.

I met him today while walking Tyr. Had a nice conversation. He works a variety of odd jobs and was very happy he saved up enough cash finally to outright buy a little piece of property. He's fixing it up. He has schizophrenia and is thrilled to move out to the country because it's easier for him than being in the city around lots of people who find him off putting. He's actually a super chill guy. He gave me some pepper spray because he saw me jog past the last few days and says everyone who jogs alone should have some.