Like its the type of thing that I dont think anyone can fix, I dont have reassurance in others having similar problems
I dont 100% beleive there is anything after death. I cant disprove anything but I also feel in my heart the most likely thing that will happen is nothing. But im so terrified of the idea of nothing. Just not existing. I like existing...
Then I get stressed if there is something. What if some form of heaven exist and it sucks or that I didnt follow some guidelines well enough and now im damned
I dont think its what happened but I dont know that! I dont know anything! All I know is that I cannot stop it from happening and as much as I wanna expect to it not happen much later it can come at any moment and take everything away from me and its not fair
I dont think any amount of therapy can change that or help me cope i dont think there is an awnser to getting over this feeling and its gut retching make me want to puke horrid feeling.