i love sociopath aloof phil

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

Is it a glitch or a feature?

Feature

in real life you will probably not respond to harassment in a sexy, clever, scripted way where you come out with the upper hand and everyone claps. you will freeze up and your moment will pass, or your voice will shake when you tell them to stop and you’ll realize two minutes later that you’re gross and sweaty and sticky from the adrenaline. maybe you’ll be on the ball and answer in a way you actually think is pretty smart and get ignored, or they’ll get more aggressive when you mouth off to them. you almost never will walk away feeling victorious. you walk away feeling uncomfortable and relieved that it’s over. you’ll think about it later and imagine that maybe you could have said something else. maybe you’ll feel ashamed that you weren’t quicker-witted, weren’t able to cut them down to size, weren’t able to avoid that lingering sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, as though there’s some kind of magical words you could have said that would have left you feeling less powerless. there really aren’t. 

Honestly this is such an important lesson to learn. If someone threatens, belittles, or verbally assaults you, you will likely feel bad, no matter how you respond. Please don’t beat yourself up for feeling emotions that are perfectly healthy and justified. 

The way I was like "wow Dan really calmed down after the first set of races wonder why". Guy who realized he was yelling fucking bitch at his viewers while his in-laws were in the next room and had to rein it in 😭

You can tell a lot about a person by entering their mind palace and encountering their greatest fears and darkest hopes in a labyrinth reflective of their subconscious thoughts.

i love how best friends they also are. panic about your boyfriend falling in the bathroom first, point and laugh at him when hes okay and covered in foam second. after all, thats still your best friend.