irritable swamp hag

"we don't have girl talk, we have creature talk," my roommate Julia just said while rolling on the floor, "put that on your fucking tumblr, they'll love that shit"

she just asked how many notes this post has and I told her eighteen and with restrained glee she said "this is going to do horrible things to my ego"

Hey op why is the contact icon a T if their name is Julia? *condescending tone* do you have your roommate saved as “trash” in your phone?

one time i was having sex and i was going “i’m yours i’m yours i’m yours” and then my partner stopped all of a sudden and said “can we talk about new kinks before we introduce them during sex” and i was like yeah what but it turned out she thought i was saying im a horse im a horse im a horse

While I applaud the healthy communication and the establishing of boundaries, this reads as the opposite of the girl who said "move faster" and her partner roared because he thought she said "Mufasa" and just rolled with it.

We are full of so many fuckign guys

God ykno that panel of marcille saying yeah it was highly illegal magic so don't tell anyone about this and chilchuck makes a fucking expression and then is like sure whatever and starts drinking from the bottle. That's how I feel reading some people's posts

debating if it would be funnier to have a bumper sticker saying "my other ride is a [exact make and model of the car the sticker is on]" or "my other ride is a [equally shitty but different car]"

2008 Honda Civic with the bumper sticker "My other ride is a 2007 Honda Civic"

we kill the bat man

elf liberalism probably goes insane

"elf liberalism is basically the same as gnome fascism" - phrase that has been echoing in my head for the past 30 minutes

What the fuck does this mean?

its not my job to educate you

genuinely no video on the internet mystifies me like this one

Life is so beautiful idk why I’m on tumblr lol

this genuinely made me so happy