animal crackers in my soup

i enter the shower. hours pass. i emerge from the shower, having mixed all of my soaps and scrubs and lotions and conditioners and shampoos and body washes together in the tub in precise alchemical quantities. i smell like 314 different herbs and spices. my hair will not need washing for the next 500 days. my skin has developed protective chitinous scales. i step out of the tub and immediately slip and fall on a stray puddle of mane 'n tail and sprain my pussy

Howl Pendragon

At this point there could be a video of Doechii and Chappell Roan hitting a man with their car holding hands Thelma & Louise style and I'd still be like "well let's hear them out"

quick update. I've decided to also blockade the strait of Hormuz. so when you talk about the status of the strait please say that it is blockaded by Iran, the USA, and Timothy. Thanks

"Just because I'm right, doesn't mean I'm being helpful" is a vastly underrated thought process that I strongly encourage others to get comfortable with

Hey op thanks for fundamentally rearranging my molecules in some helpful way this fine evening

My blog isn't a safe space btw. It failed the last TÜV inspection due to lack of handrails and Notausgangschilder

hey now >:(

drake?

josh?

where’s the body of christ?

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

i know we’re deep into january now but i hope this year everyone realizes the way ads have started to adjust their tactics. every time i see a post with an ad that looks like it has some kind of unintentional innuendo it makes me groan. “didn’t they know what this looked like before they put out the ad??” yes motherfucker a conference room full of suits pretending to be people all gathered together and said “if we make it look like this guy is blowing someone in our advertisement someone will snap a pic and post it on social media giving us a 1.4% revenue turnaround on our ad campaign investment” they aren’t trying to sell to you anymore they’re just trying to get you to do the work for them and the worst part is it’s been fucking workinggg

it’s unfair for Gal Gadot to assume that her movies are bombing because of boycotts from pro-Palestine moviegoers. it’s also because she’s not a good actress and the movies she’s in are bad

you're on the reblog website. reblog things.