the cure is to kiss your cat on the top of their head

do you ever feel yourself fail a charisma check in real time

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room

we're just normal men

Why the heck is this dude trying to confirm if the frog puppet is hetrosexual???

assessing the situation before he shoots his shot

Happy Pride to Kermit the Frog, questioning king

it’s so embarrassing to watch tos for the first time and be like, whoa !! 👀spock and kirk❓is anyone else kinda getting 😏some vibes 😳 as if they aren’t the founding fathers. as if they didn’t build the yaoi dimension with their bare hands. as if the current cathedrals we call home aren’t predicated upon their humble shadow puppets on the walls of plato’s fucking cave, and as if our ancestors were fools to fall for those puppets instead of geniuses, innovators, and prophets ????

The over-pronunciation of every word is so spot on lol

Okay, but what if I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at ping-pong, and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall, and I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice, and I've never been to Boston in the fall?

You're safe

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

Wild to think how invested I once was in captain america. They really put something in the winter soldier (2014). you had to be there