silly alter ego

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

yeah i couldn’t be trusted with a penis id get hard from the way the sun shines through the leaves and everyone would hate me

they want you to make fried rice

who is "they"

the wok left

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

skillet issue

i do actually think it's crazy that employers get a say over shit like tattoos and piercings and we just let that happen

if you look cool as fuck you become unemployable

My uncle can flutter jump like yoshi

He doesn't like to do it where people can see though. If you bring it up he gets all embarrassed.

I think the university course database should have a filter to only show classes taught by extremely old people who are insane

THE FRENCH FUJOSHI: and you will put ze tips of your penise togezher, oui? and you will insert yourself into 'iz boyhole, oui?

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.