Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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trying on a metaphor

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@hellomadmazel

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soleoado
A princess
idk where “monkeys like bananas” came from but im so glad its a thing because its so fucking funny for no reason at all
They are both the same color
They’re thinking of Curious George the yellow monkey
Paddington bear wears that yellow ass coat
his name is ted. also, he’s not a monkey

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indie band name generator:
your favourite fruit + the last reason you took painkillers
sometimes I wanna reply “bitch me too” to my mutuals posts but I’ve never talked 2 them so they might not see it as friendly joking so i just dont
reblog if it’s okay to say “bitch me too” to you if you’re mutuals
Photographer Captures Heartwarming Portraits of Blind Cats to Help Them Get Adopted
all cats are good cats.
this reply made me laugh harder than any reply I think I've ever gotten
How did they find the worst audio ever made
Yknow, I watched this without sound. And I saw "I hate you" as a reply, and assumed something awful happened at the end of the video. And then I scrolled down a bit further, and went back up, listened to the audio and I gotta say. I agree with found-sheep.
Watching this without volume and then turning it on is like a sucker punch

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the reason why tumblr friendships last like 2 months with a callout and screenshots ready is because you’re all freaks and because none of you learned how to communicate and I don’t mean like “you don’t know how to talk to people” I just mean like. Y’all think it’s healthy to hate your friends and just not tell them or not telling someone when they say something fucked up and then waiting for their callout to tell everyone “it was so scary!” Like y’all are what... 16-20 years old and can barely tell someone if you’re upset w something they did
Exactly. When you got no choice, you got no choice.
Like to charge, reblog to cast…
Won’t God do it.
Trump getting coronavirus, losing the election, getting dragged out the WH in cuffs along with his sons, his daughter, and all his minions, especially Mitch McConnell, and the rest of the swamp he filled would be the beginning of the redemption arc 2020 needs.
Gotta learn to ask the universe for what we deserve and claim that shit.
I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe!!!
Well, looks like it’s working. Let’s reblog again!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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breaking news: children cry at school, too, every day and we your children’s teachers handle the situation with care and grace and not a single newspaper considers it breaking news.
of course i feel bad for a crying child. i even have some compassion for their mother bc yeah, it really sucks when a child you love is crying. i would know. i’m a teacher; it’s a normal part of the school week. (fyi: it very often has to do w stuff that’s happening at home or stuff that students don’t feel safe enough to talk about at home.) but this headline & image being used so transparently as an argument against distance learning is so upsetting and misleading.
i mean, send the kids back to school. let them infect their parents and grandparents. and then by all means run the news stories about these same children crying at funerals for the preventable deaths of their family members. because that is exactly what reopening schools will do.
(also, maybe im being way out of line here but what kind of parent pauses to take a photo of their child crying? that is fucking gross and there’s no way to get meaningful consent from a kindergartner to agree to that photo being distributed like this.)
rissa offered me $3 to make this meme