Waiting for the next step

When the warning said thousands of bees they meant it

what the FUCK that's alotta bees

at what point do you just say “fuck it, this is the bees’ house now”

When my children ask what the world was like before coronavirus I'm showing them this

Okay I love the "I'm vaccinated and ready to party this summer" attitude, but do yous realize you can still transmit the virus to people who are not vaccinated. The vaccine aims to prevent severe symptoms and death, it does not stop transmission. Even if youre vaccinated, you can still catch covid—your case will just be mild or asymptomatic, and you can get other people sick, who may be hospitalized or die if they're not fully vaccinated. So chill out, keep wearing your masks and social distancing. If you don't want to cause you're bored or lonely—SUCK. IT. UP.

You are not allowed to look at this fish on behalf of Anish Kapoor

by looking at this fish you certify that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are not an associate of Anish Kapoor, and you are not planning to describe this fish later to Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor

Animals don’t understand the concept of an accident. Your dog thinks you got out of the bed in the middle of the night just to kick him in the head.

This is a lie animals DO understand the concept of accidents especially social animals which is essentially all domestic animals. For example when dogs play-fight they often accidentally play too rough. When this happens the hurt dog will yelp! Both dogs stop playing, and the offending dog often performs submissive gestures (rolling over, licking, nuzzling softly) to show that they are sorry and they didn’t mean to be aggressive, and they were not trying to show dominance. After a few moments they’ll start playing again! So, if you accidentally step on your dog’s paw, and then you make a big show of saying sorry (petting, holding the dog, making soft sounds) your dog understands! They know you didn’t mean it. On top of that many animals have been shown to have varying levels of human language comprehension, so it’s not impossible that your dog ACTUALLY knows what the word Sorry means!

yr locked in a room alone with three adult men but you feel perfectly safe. who are they

#the papas mia (@professorspork)

I just heard my mom tell my brother, “when you die, you will go outside and garden until your father says you’re done” and it took me a second to realize that my brother was playing a videogame and this was not a theological discussion.

Purgatory

this has michelle obama written all over it