permets-tu?

remember kids if someone’s trying to get you to do something with money and they get agitated when you want to slow down and google stuff to confirm, that’s a scam

HAVE THAT CHARACTER GAIN WEIGHT AS A SIGN OF HEALING: NOW

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

Who the fuck says "facebook it"

The girl CIA Agent reading this <3

70 retweets and 1628 quote tweets... I don't think the federal agent is having a good time

[record scratch] [freeze frame]: yeah that's me. that's me in the corner. that's me in the spotlight, losing my religion.

white people will literally be like if u arent nice to me Im going to become a nazi. and think they’re making a great argument

this stupid shit has been around for so long and it’s crazy to me there are still people with enough rocks in their brain to believe it. “Oughhhhh if you aren’t nice to you oppressors they’ll become bigots instead of allies” if someone’s support for marginalized groups hinges entirely on whether or not that group is niceys, they’re by definition not effective or useful allies and, by admission of this argument, an active danger to the communities theyre supposed to be allied with because they can Enter Bigot Mode the second they become displease

getting northern licked by a northern flicker

I feel bad for people who’ve never experienced a corn maze bc it’s not even fun but you just have to do it

youre supposed to not be like this by my age but whatever