write write write

my little cousin confidently declared that mother nature had a counterpart named daddy electric and i feel like this concept needs to be explored

it is funny that the climatic moment of the first six star wars movies hinges on luke cutting off vaders hand and going…wait…..i’ve become just like him….the cycle stops now…..meanwhile there’s his mentor spiders kenobi who cuts off 1000 limbs a day and dgaf. i’m not saying obi wan is evil but u have to admit that’s funny

in actual uncontrollable sobbing fits of laughter over my mom's "EW ORK CITY" tshirt like i don't think enough oxygen is reaching my brain rn i'm laughing so hard

32,287 votes

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

FABRICCCCCC?!??!?!?

where are my headphones I can’t see without my headphones

I wish jonathan harker a very pleasant and normal business trip

Every year I watch that white boy go, with no way of warning him. No way of letting him know. Helplessly watching him devour his paprika chicken before journeying the road to his doom. Don’t go, white boy. Don’t go.

Every single fic update there is an author trying frantically to find the right balance between a nonchalant aside of "leave a comment if you enjoyed =)" and clinging desperately to the coat tails of a random stranger, dragging along behind them on the street wailing "Please, please! I have to know what you thought! I'm desperate to talk to people about this! Ask me about the alliterative repetition! Ask me about the symbolism!"

isn't that that Tolkien book