live laugh lobotomy

As much as I think it would be fun to have emotive anthropomorphic ears, I also recognize I can barely control my facial expressions. Like hell can I keep from Angry Ears-ing during meetings

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

@remoncat

why didn't they just leave pompeii when the volcano erupted? were they stupid?

Fun fact: they did leave Pompeii! It's estimated that the population pre-eruption was something like 20,000, and the most likely number of dead in is in the range of 1,500-4,000. So most people just did leave Pompeii, it's just that not everyone left or could leave.

I'd have still left. the human body is capable of wonderful things in the face of danger

A lot of people died in the boats tho:/

I would have paddled away quickly

The scariest thing about pyroclastic flow is that if you can see it, no matter how far away it is, there is no possible way of surviving

I've done incredible things. I think you'd be surprised.

you should teach them

their brains became AEROSOLS IN THEIR SKULLS.

what?? no

correction, some of their brain cells turned to glass, unless you want to bitch about the Smithsonian's knowledge base. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/mount-vesuvius-turned-mans-brain-cells-glass-180976073/

that just doesn't sound correct. they should verify this information

not only could I survive that, but I could do it a second time

What you seem to not understand is that when volcanoes erupt the way Mount Vesuvius did, your survival is dependant on whether or not you're close enough to a ship when it happens. It doesn't matter how smart you are, your IQ cannot outrun a catastrophic volcanic eruption. If you're going to criticize them for anything, it should be their decision to settle near an active volcano in the first place.

as was previously established, my large IQ can outrun many things, so I do not imagine a volcano would be that much more difficult

yeah okay, ill reblog that

Question/gen if you jumped in the ocean and stayed under for a while could you possibly survive?

you don't need need to do all that. you will find the solution is much simpler

Please, share your wisdom, what is the simple solution!

you just leave

Since you're capable of withstanding a pyroclastic flow, why did you decide to leave?

didn't wanna stay

Random stinging pain in my neck 👀

atacked by my #MindWasp

Can you put those things on a leash please

Yeah. a really Long one so they can still get u tho

i support women's wrongs

if magic was real I'd get really into wizardry long enough to learn like 3 spells then move on and 4 years later id be like oh yeah I remember how to summon flame. probably. and then id do all the hand motions out of order and explode

Hold on, let me look something up real quick

Yeah this is funny

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

I love this

I think id kiss my clone a liiiittle bit...I dunno....maaaaaaybee (me to my uber driver who's driving increasingly unsafe)