Insane Goober

I’ll start first: I am actually married. Irl. I have a husband. I know it’s surprising considering the Tumblr spouses, but my husband thinks it’s funny.

@stars-and-sharks @fangirlmenace

@pipatetka-be-cranking @iammentallystable16

and i am doing art and music for gcse

I have a Level 1 qualification in Ballet and I have vasovagal syncope :P

I was also the most calm person in the ER.

I have a desk from my grandmother that is from the 1920s-ish?

One of my ear canals are notably smaller than the other. It makes it harder to clean, and it kinds hurts sometimes, but otherwise it has no effect on my life and I didnt even realize until a few months ago.

I unironically thought undertale took place in hell. I didn't figure that out until at least four years of knowing the game existed, when a friend was speaking about the game and I mentioned that. As it turns out, "the underground" is in fact, just a place underground.

When I was 13 I used to go to the master bedroom and hide my parents' lube. I didn't steal it for myself or anything, I just threw them behind their dresser because I really hated the possibility of getting another sibling and that was the best way I could think of preventing that.

three random facts:

1) i once stole a weed-related product from right behind an empoyees back and i had to go in my tiptoes to reach over a transparent plastic divider to get it. i have never been caught and that might be my riskiest sticky-fingered stunt yet. i keep a mental catalogue of surveillance in stores, on streets, etc. oh and for some reason i tend to sneak up on people unnoticed even though I don't mean to and it seems crazy sometimes -- like I'll be in steel-toed boots and embodying a large sillhouette and regardless only be noticed when I'm within like 3 feet of someone. this is of course an incredibly funny nature to employ for sibling-scaring purposes and trickery.

2) i have known my partner since we were 6 years old, longer than I've known my own sibling. she has seen the absolute worst of me and the best. she has helped me survive innumerable times. and though we have our problems, i am so lucky and glad to have her in my life. she is the only person who can make me laugh with little effort. being in her company makes me feel at home no matter where we are or what we're doing.

3) i have managed to gain around 20lbs give or take within approximately 3 months (though i suspect i am losing some of the weight unfortunately due to stress and the other factors that make it difficult for me to eat properly... I'm hoping I'll correct course on that by mid-July and am looking to gain another 5-10 lbs from my starting weight along with the existing 20lbs i may have lost some of. also my new brand of protein powder is total garbage and i will never get it again, I'm going to go back to the one i liked before hopefully even if it's on the pricier side)

@aro-spectre @asterosian @big-tiddy @imoanurparentsnames @kitsuneprincessspring @little-flame-prince @nebulae-astros-official @nsfwitchy2 @wandering-wolf23

2. I planned the murder of a girl who hurt my bestie when I was in 1st grade with said bestie, we even thought about how to get rid of the evidence {cut the corpse up, burn it in the shady ass peice of land near our houses and launch the remains in a homemade firework}

3. I like to make things that remind me of my friends but I'm usually too scared to show it to them ;-;

My sense of direction is apparently very good (or so I've been told)

I never speak in public, like, at all

I only drink, and only ever will drink water

2.) i accumulate various things that i love inexplicably and they currently include a sloth plushie, a turtle on a necklace, a ring that is plain metal with black flame on the sides (its also like seven or eight years old) a green hoodie/jacket and several other knicknacks

3.) idk im not v interesting but ig i very much like physical affection? or I am actually pretty good at archery?

1. I used to kayak a lot as a kid with my parents. Basically my whole summer as a kid was at the lake just kayaking or stand up paddle boarding

2. Despite what many might believe at one point i was really religous and went to church every sunday with my dad and even gor confirmed into the church (methodist version of chosing jesus since we get bapistized as infants)

3. I couldnt read till I was 8

i used to have a H U G E frozen hyperfixation 😭

bendy. and short. meaning i can squeeze into shady places.

open tags! (will edit later and tag my moots)

@overlord-offical @bacone-official @amoebaporn @justcallmedom31 @lmhavingaboibee @the-one-and-only-piper-offical @printer-reads-505 @obsessivebookwormalert @pansexual-king-official @lightsabersandbluecookies @imightbeafaerie-official-offical @days-without-ai-ads-offical @fieryhotpotato @7-eleven-offical @silverfan77 @i-hate-network-programming @grisha-offical @thedogbard @toomuchtodooml @tinnitus-official @art-hammer-certified @raventhecrispy-offical @theonewholeftitbehind @aggressivetrash0 @kugisakinobaradesu @minute-maid-offical @cloud-makers-make-pollution @postie-offical @not-so-single-official @burning-britain-official @shah4139-offical @ayane-chan-loves-water @wallyblack1925-offical @watashiwagarydesu-offical @amy-offical @was-funny-before @mike-wheeler-offical @eraser-offical @yearning--offical @mcsm-official @erica-sinclair-offical @ninahufflepuff @itsuwari-no-kibo-offical @hellincarnation @null-the-void-monarch-offical @men-in-black-official @silly-lil-arson-frog-mom-offical @krow-offical @zenkor123 @horror-movie-offical

i have a double nationality (i ain't telling what countries but i guess you can figure it out...)

my parents forced me to do extra english classes when i was like 7 i hated it but now im really glad

if i wear glasses meant for my prescription i get a headache, so i always wear low prescription ones unless i'm going to a concert or doing something that will be more fun if i can see far away

i've only gotten two haircuts in the past 4 years and both of them were just trims so my hair is about hip length now.. i get a lot of comments and people asking me if i'm going to cut it (tbh i want to, i just can't find a good reference picture)

in 3rd grade i found a bunch of graphic novels that were actually shakespearean plays (i didn't even know who shakespeare was i thought it was the brand 😭) and i was obsessed with reading them at the time for some reason?? my favorite was as you like it

Ok mine is not that fun but. I’m lactose intolerant.

I also have an addiction to dairy, so, figure that out.

Ummm I also used to have a pixie cut! I’ve been growing my hair out for like, I think 4 years now? I do miss her every once in a while. Having a pixie is such a fun experience and so is growing it out

1. I used to play the saxophone when I was 9

2. I used to hate reading, up until 5 years ago when I read Percy Jackson for the first time.

I did boxing (fitness, not actual boxing) for a short while

Every time I went to the dentist they were like “you brush so well oh my gosh we love you you’re so perfect!”

And I would go to the orthodontist and they’d be like “there’s something twisted in you.”

I have severe social anxiety from it and used to be a very quiet book worm. Theatre is the reason I am so confident now!

Protect the arts!

Moots:

I umpire for my local junior football league. You would not believe how invested some parents are in the outcome of Under 12 Mixed Division 4 Round 7 like I'm sorryyyyy but please don't tell me how to do my job. Pretty good pay tho.

I know how to play piano and violin, though I quit lessons years ago and haven't practiced. Occasionally I'll sit at the piano and the muscle memory will kick in and everyone goes WOW SO GOOD but I wish I could say the same for violin. Everyone seems to be more like "oh that's pretty good considering you haven't practiced" in that case, as I screech along. AMEB grade 7 and 6 respectively on paper, piss all in practice.

I've got one that will probably shock all of my followers, I think, lol.

1. I'm an amateur blacksmith

2. I was almost killed by a former friend in school who was, years later, arrested by the FBI.

AND:

3. I have literally never seen a single episode of Miraculous Ladybug or any connected spinoff, nor have I ever read, watched, or listened to any officially released Miraculous Media.

@avenyura @kel1000th @nuget138 @jagsnoir @lakortux @theflamingwitch @theechatnoir @swisstrainspotter @mingareco @kadehex

Feel free to play even if you aren't tagged!!!!!

Uh.. i'm kinda boring but like i can put something

Literally the only time i've been the hospital (for anything to do with me) was when i was born.

i had a brief phase in my childhood where I was afraid of technology

I'm a theater kid and a bit of a teacher's pet (I just like raise my hand, don't talk to people during class much and get my work in on time. Idk if that means i'm a teacher's pet but my teachers are fond of me.)

I can play piano

Anyway here's the fanfic thingy (i don't know if it's called a description or what)

Adrien had many things to figure out.

Apparently, his father was a hero, Monarch was defeated, and Ladybug has regained some of the Miraculous, and was well on her way to locating the rest.

Adrien knew that wasn't the all true. He knew his father was Monarch. He knew his father hadn't been a hero. He knew he was a controlling man. He knew he wasn't really real, that he was just a being with his life connected to some rings. He knew he couldn't disobey his father's commands, even if he was dead.

And so, Adrien was really, absolutely stuck.

He sat there, watching a video recorded by his father, detailing where the Miraculous he didn't use in the final battle were. Telling how to use the powers, how to get to the lair, and the most effective ways to Akumatize people.

"You're not really going to do that any of that Adrien?" The floating black Kwami asked him, seeming genuinely worried.

"It's not like I have a choice…"