my feet are freezing @smieska - Tumblr Blog

I fucking REFUSE to get a stupid Instagram because "that's where all the niche indie art jobs are being posted!"

FUCK OFF

#I did my fucking time I don't want another fucking app to add to addiction #I don't want to play nice with people I KNOW ARE ASSHOLES IN REAL LIFE #I did my fucking time

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I don't do DnD but watching Zach Reino's Smartypants presentation about LARPing inspired me to make a list of characters I'd love to be.

Then i got sad it can't be real, can't even lose myself in making art for it because of how slow and awful i am at it

#smartypants #dropout tv

krownjester

guys theres a bug with my undertale..

#this is so cute aa #undertale #deltarune

i feel so incredibly disconnected from myself i feel like a ghost

"you don't have to stay anchored to one program, you can always leave. There's no timer."

Yes there is, it's called my fucking bank account.

#I biked there to save money #but I had to stop halfway and lurk in the shadows while I cried like a little baby #I hate this I hate this I hate this so much

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the change in expression when people realize my age and how long i've been "trying", industry or otherwise

its cute when you're like..20

but its not cute when you're nearing 40

Summer enjoyers are in the same category as morning people

#as in its seen as the norm to love summer and complain about winter #I hate summer the same way people hate on winter

pies-in-the-skies

me: truly a well crafted tragedy is such a bittersweet pleasure to take in and serves a purpose, not just as a sad story but as a reminder that even that which ends badly might not have happened in vain or for nothing. The love, the grief, the actions still meant something simply for having taken place and for us partaking in it.

me when said tragedy is about to actually unfold, sweating: ok but consider this. i dont want this to happen

#it's sad song but we're going to sing it again #ancient Greeks knew what was up

again, its like i have some kind of invisibility curse on me, my whole life having to always make the extra effort of just being noticed, acknowledging my existence as a human being and that I, in fact, exist. I always seem to fall between the cracks. Friends, Doctors, Specialists, Services, anything.

Its exhausting and so frustrating knowing this isn't the normal way people go through their lives. And if I make any kind of noise that I'm unhappy, I get yelled at for it. Never ending.

#i mean right down to i literally wasn't supposed to happen #its this eternal stank on me i can't shake off #maybe its why i'm so prone to feeling anger and envy towards someone who just gets what they strive for with basic obstacles #but ultimately still succeed #i do the same and i struggle every step of the way and ultimately leads to fucking nothing #its a never ending cycle and i'm just exhausted

I dunno man

I give up

Making art feeling like an abusive relationship at this point, I'm miserable doing it and I'm miserable not doing it

I tried to be part of a community online and in real life and it just blew up in my face and I'm left with trying to piece together charred remains

#I can only watch on in envy and jealousy at those i tried to make friends with go further and get better and more popular #while I just wither to nothing and it's my own fault #never good enough for anything

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vanessagillings

Oh, to be a tiny mermaid to escape the heat

anxietyproblem

gossip-girl-of-middleearth

no no, I realise it, I’m just still driving despite the check engine light being on

#so burnt out I wish I was dead #not even 20 years rest would help everything is fucked up let me reset from the beginning

redstonedust

being too warm during the day: well, this sucks, but this temperature makes sense because the sun is up, and the sun is making me warm. i am unhappy but logically i can deal with it for now.

being too warm at night: what if i kill everybody.

#day: I'm fine I don't need air conditioning #night: I WILL SCREAM IF MY ROOM ISNT GLACIAL #30C at night hits so much more different than during the day omggggg

aesungaia

Everyone's Friend

#yea ... :(#like prev said glad I'm not alone in thinking like this #but we're still isolated #wish there was this magical cafe where we could all meet

I hate that i have this full disconnect from myself

I keep thinking I haven't been drawing at all, when its been doing whatever meager freelance gigs I can get

Like I'm not registering at all that I have been working

#I hate freelance with a passion #I hate that I can't seem to learn or improve on my own #I need to be in a physical place with someone one and one to show me what to do because I'm a fucking moron #never good enough

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escuerzoresucitado

#please

asunnydisposish

There's a light inside your soul

That's still shining in the cold

With the truth

The promise in our hearts~ 🎶

#deltarune #cute cute cute

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my feet are freezing