never kill yourself. you have to fill your mutuals dash with shit they don't care about forever, okay?
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@katisconfused
never kill yourself. you have to fill your mutuals dash with shit they don't care about forever, okay?

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"I don't mean to criticize people who are actually disabled, I'm just talking about people who could easily do it but are too lazy to bother-" well you're attacking both in practice because there is no way for you to tell the difference and the first group is a lot bigger than the second
You have to let people love you. You have to let people get to know you. You have to let people help you. Being so completely selfless that you try to erase yourself off the face of the planet and never ask for anything and reject everybody's offers of support makes you very hard to love! Unfortunately. Emptying yourself out of everything that makes you, you is not actually what your loved ones want from you, generally. They want to make you happy! They will be so so sad if you don't give them the chance. It's not all selfish. I promise.
Chronic illness sucks because youâll catch yourself thinking shit like âI wish it was possible to bathe regularlyâ or âthey should invent a digestive system that doesnât hurtâ and then realise⌠thatâs actually the case for most people. Thatâs the norm. Not only do most people have that, they donât even think about it

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text: [ âSome of you have forgotten that only three years ago you were perfectly capable of writing an essay, writing a eulogy, telling a bedtime story to a child, and it should worry you that powerful companies have convinced us we canât do things weâve been doing for 5000 years.â ]
You get transported into the universe of the last media you consumed. How are you doing?
This is better than my real life
I'm doing well
I'm doing fine
I'm not having a good time
I'm absolutely cooked
There is nothing different about this universe and my own
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I wonder how aliens will react to our communal grooming instinct? Like when you see something stuck to your homieâs clothes/skin/hair and itâs driving you nuts and you just gotta be like âhold still, lemme get that for you real quick.â
One time when I was a kid, I had a science teacher with a snake as a class pet, and said snake was almost done shedding. There was one little bit of dried skin stuck to its face and I was like, âwould it hurt him if I pulled that off?â And the teacher said, âyes it actually could, itâs probably still attached to living skin if it hasnât come off yetâ and I was like âoh, sorry,â and he said, âthatâs okay, you were just wanting to do the primate thing.â And damn, thatâs such an accurate descriptor.
Anyways I hope aliens donât mind me/my descendants having the urge to pluck stuff off of them. If they ask, weâll have to tell them itâs a trait we evolved to survive ticks.
Sometimes you might feel the urge to help someone in a certain way, and sometimes they really don't want to be helped in that way, either because it would not help them (or even hurt them) or because they would rather do it themselves (for various reasons).
It's important to realize that sometimes you're going to be a primate and they're going to be a snake, and it needs to be okay if they do not want their skin pulled off at this time.
favorite video game from your childhood đ¤đ¤đ¤ quicklyđ¤đ¤đ¤
full spectrum

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When the health food store unionized, something wild happened that I thought was just a goofy one-off, but makes more sense now.
There was a big push to eliminate "degrading jobs" but the strategy was to eliminate the position, then create a new position outside of the bargaining unit to do the work. So like, we wouldn't have dishwashers, but we'd have people who washed dishes that weren't eligible to be in the union.
I was like A) what the actual fuck? Dish washing isn't "degrading", it's fucking vital. B) What the actual fuck? You want to create a union just to exploit different people?
There were enough of us to be like "Absolutely the fuck not," and put a stop to it, but I was absolutely flummoxed that people involved in a union would say that out loud. Working with more leftists now, it makes sense.
I think it was coming from a background that viewed labor as necessary to accomplish anything, but advocated for the equitable distribution of the gains made by labor... and then being thrown in with people who just thought labor was icky.
The first time someone told me that busing tables was "degrading", I was like "Oh, uhh, yeah, like it's very necessary work but under compensated for how vital it is?" and they responded "No, touching plates that other people have eaten off of is disgusting."
But I want to eat off of clean plates. So somebody is going to have to touch/clean those plates. And I respect that person and want them to be able to afford to live.
Those people sound like a guy I'd make up to be mad at.
I mean, that job definitely had a Truman Show vibe. If they hadn't been in-person interactions, I'd think I was getting trolled.
Just to put a bow on it:
In bargaining, someone on the Union side suggested that we eliminate all the cashiers and exclusively use self-checkouts (they were a cashier and didn't like it). The organizer told them that the union wasn't in the habit of eliminating bargaining unit positions. (This is the same person I've talked about how said that "as a prison abolitionist" we just needed to execute most criminals.)
When I explained holiday scheduling (time off requests granted in order of seniority, shifts assigned in reverse order of seniority). Someone was angry and said that time off requests potentially being denied "wasn't in the spirit of the union". When I pointed out that our departments made like 30% of our annual revenue between Thanksgiving and New Years and that required production staff to be working, they said that we just needed to create a class of positions ineligible for the bargaining unit that wouldn't be able to request time off. (Which again, most of us figured we'd just rotate holidays or something, but assumed that some holiday production was mandatory.)
I was on leftie tiktok (as a creator) for a bit and I saw this attitude there as well. I specifically remember one argument around cleaners where someone said that employing a cleaner was, like, ethically bad, and that "after the revolution" we wouldn't have cleaners.
It got me thinking, along with Ann Russell talking about how to treat cleaners (being a cleaner herself), about how we conceptualise domestic service as particularly degrading in all its forms, when, really, why is that? Why is paying someone to do something intrinsically bad?
Like, even in a moneyless, gift economy society, there would still be people whose primary contribution to their communities would be cleaning. Some people like to clean, and are really rather good at it.
I've talked ad nauseam in the past about how British attitudes towards cleaners and other service based positions today are the descendants of Victorian attitudes. That is, both the attitudes of conservatives and many progressives of that time. The trade union movement was particularly exclusionary towards service workers.
I think people on the left thinking about forms of labour can sometimes be worse than people on the right. People who have taken these positions generally just conceptualise them as something you need to do to get by, and there are particular employers where these positions are degrading but in general the jobs themselves aren't.
Yeah, that really sums it up. There's stuff that needs to get done, so I'll never be of the opinion that it's degrading work. I worked in kitchens for a long time, and every other position is reliant on having clean dishes, so nobody can really be "above" washing dishes. The shitty thing about washing dishes or busing tables is how people treat the people doing it. The work itself is vital.
And some of those jobs are like, sure, you can throw almost any warm body at it and get it done adequately, but you still run into people where you're like "Holy shit, you're good at this."
People doing a job most people don't want to do should be paid MORE in order to get people to do it. That's how it would work if we weren't mired in a schema assuming that less-frequently-desired jobs are the province of people who "can't do better" and "deserve" poverty because they have less value as people.
Peer reviewing the tags: #these attitudes are also why ppl are weird about sex work#and weirdly enough visibly disabled people working - like esp thinking of like#places that employ ppl w LDs as workers and volunteers#what they FEEL is 'these people make me uncomfortable'#and they say 'they shouldn't have to do that'#so the solution is. no visibly disabled people getting to work#the fact that. they want to work. and want jobs#is irrelevant#too many people base their politics off their like. gut feelings of discomfort and unease#which are completely disconnected from both practicality and actual morality
"sex should be less stigmatized and talked about more" and "you should always make sure people who dont want to consume sexual media that you present dont have to see it" are two statements that can and should coexist. by the way.
But when I say the âwholesome and funnyâ YouTube short I have been handed of students surprise showing their teachers 10+ year old photos of themselves and most them were emo/goth in some way and every single one now has medium brown beach waves and is wearing head to toe beige and immediately screams and hides the photo like itâs the most embarrassing thing in the world is a hallmark of a deeply insidious tendency to associate socially acceptable WASPy aesthetics with maturity and responsibility and perpetuates the idea that everyone grows up, âgets rightâ and becomes the most digestible unobtrusive heterosexual Iâm âtaking it too seriouslyâ
âItâs not that seriousâ oh but it issssss because every day we perpetuate the idea that non-conformity of any kind to the white straight middle class standard is inherently immature and gets âleft behindâ when someone becomes a socially acceptable adult
This idea that maturity is conformity is everywhereeee if you look for even a moment
Donât hold your breath.

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so embarrassing to watch yourself become obsessed with a character that feels tailor made for you specifically to become obsessed with. feels like i fell into a trap made just for me. like damn they got me. those are all the things i like and go crazy for
Half the backlash to fat lib content essentially boils down to "I can't believe you're FORCING me to not be mean to you"
Thin people are absolutely relentless with this. "But I have to TELL them!" "I can't just not SAY something!" "We can't just PRETEND it's fine to be fat!"
They really seem to think the main reason people are fat is because we're simply drowning in approval and no one has been brave enough to inform us that it's better to not be fat, actually