He's not falling, He's Rising

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

BILL, BILL, BILL!!!!

I’d never seen that last one, but my life is better for it

gays ruined the word hole for eternity

i wish someone would ruin my hole for eternity

2010-2011 pop was literally. katy perry doing that weird like candyland fantasy. nicki minaj queen of rap. LMFAO said 'male stripper rights'. rihanna giving sexy but make it tragic. pitbull releasing the soundtrack for like all-inclusive resort holidays to spain. ke$ha giving representation for girls who get too drunk to take their makeup off. lady gaga ended homophobia. and the cast of glee undoing all that hard work. justin bieber becoming to preteen girls what the beatles used to be for women in the 60s. 3oh!3 invented obnoxiouscore. jaaaaason deruulooo. we no speak americano

Is this about COVID or the election

Yes

She’s coming for Shane specifically

Y'all, I clicked through over forty terrible clickbait ads to figure out what the fuck was up with doorknobs and rubber bands. I am here, a scarred survivor, to tell you this bullshit is about keeping your kids' doors from latching so you don't wake them up from their nap if you check on them while they're asleep. That's it. That's all. Go and be free of the clickbait. Remember me fondly.

Why y'all hatin' on Lin-manuel Miranda!?!

im not ! we’re busting in him! chilllll

If you get married in Japan then fly to Hawaii and immediately die after you land, your marriage certificate will be dated after your death certificate

weekend plans!

God damn I need the story behind this before tumblr makes one up

they tried to get their phone fixed from somewhere other than the approved apple store locations,so apple tried to take em out

Free him!

When getting housing for a pet, please remember to get the homes of an adequate size. This is abuse

knights need at least a 5x5 enclosure in order to keep their stress levels manageable, and honestly that’s pushing it. 10x10 is a much more humane minimum, and you should allow them more if you can spare it, as knights enjoy “touring” around their enclosures and more space means a longer tour. if you don’t have the space a knight requires, consider adopting a bishop or a rook instead

I hate this because a chessboard is 8x8.

Chessboards are torture for knights!!

all stories have an inherently biased perspective because theyre all written by writers. this precludes an understanding of aspects of life experienced by people who arent writers such as ballin, fitting in at parties, having abs

but wait didn’t ernest hemingway have abs and fit in at parties?

yeah thats why he barely used any words

#old man and the sea short bc he had a rager to get to

Do you think people in the afterlife get notifications when someone mentions them in a post?

I hope so, Diogenes must be fucking losing it.