I just misspelled the word "qualified" and said "I'm not quailfied enough to do this"
A quailfied person:
noise dept.
Fieri Frames
h
Not today Justin
Claire Keane
Doug Jones
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
occasionally subtle
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
untitled

Product Placement
Fai_Ryy
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

The Bright Sessions
The Bowery Presents
Game of Thrones Daily
taylor price

ellievsbear

seen from Singapore
seen from Bangladesh
seen from United States
seen from Bolivia
seen from Ireland
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Colombia

seen from Malaysia
seen from Japan

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Italy
seen from Kosovo

seen from Colombia

seen from Brazil

seen from United States

seen from Brazil

seen from United States
seen from Italy
@cosmic-dust-poltergeist
I just misspelled the word "qualified" and said "I'm not quailfied enough to do this"
A quailfied person:

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Saw this on Pinterest and thought it deserved to be here too
side benefit of communal all-gender restrooms is that they may be our best chance to shame cis men into washing their hands
i was in a communal all-gender restroom today and as i was washing my hands a middle-aged man came out of one of the stalls, started to make for the door, clocked me standing at the sinks, and changed course to wash his hands with a real hangdog look on his face
rocky: grace grace grace let's roleplay
grace: okay so is this gonna be a sex thing or are you gonna make me run around the biodome for the whole afternoon pretending we're in a zombie apocalypse
grace: like. you gotta be more specific than that buddy
getting followed by porn bots is weird and that’s coming from a guy with multiple 🥵 concubines
this is really resonating with the subjects
step aside you old cut-sleeve, i shall court these maidens!
I’m an emperor actually @chasingtheskyline
the marquis of homo WISHES he had a fraction of my imperial glory!
right so i’m one of the most well regarded emperors in the history of china and you’re the guy who had to put “shut up about the mercury” in his bio
I AM NOT OWNED! I AM NOT OWNED!!!
I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN EARN THE LOVE OF MY CITIZENS!
I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN ADEQUATELY PREPARE MY SUCCESSOR!
I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN ESTABLISH A STABLE DYNASTY!
the Terracotta Army guy?
🙄 you build ONE funerary complex with 8000 life-sized statues of soldiers, horses and generals and suddenly you’re “the terracotta army guy.” 🙄 execution.
Stumbling across this makes me feel like a dad whos walked into their kids room beer in hand and seeing them roleplay starwars fights i do not belong here but god its entertaining
to be clear in this scenario im the jedi and im winning

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Follow up to the clicker training grocky post
Grace is having a similar problem to Rocky, Rocky cannot seem to just give Grace his full attention sometimes which is fine mostly but.. well. Grace is a little greedy and a little bored, and one day he’s rummaging around in the storage area, opening boxes he’s never opened before and he finds..
A dog whistle!!
He almost goes to blow on it experimentally but then he pauses.
This is a brilliant scientific opportunity!!
Grace has about a million thoughts at once but it all boils down to this: Can Eridians be trained to react positively to certain sounds?
Rocky clicker training Grace without Grace knowing..
When Rocky discovers how humans can just.. tune people out he is shocked and more importantly very annoyed because he’ll try to get Grace’s attention and half the time he’s just nodding along or just doesn’t answer while he’s doing something
So one day Grace is doing just that, barely nodding along while doing something on the laptop and Rocky has a thought; “loud noises wake up humans while they’re sleeping, could they also be used to snap them into focus?” Rocky tests his hypothesis with a loud whistle, and to Rocky’s utter delight Grace immediately snaps his head up and looks at Rocky with a confused expression.
So he starts using it when he wants Grace’s attention, repeating that same exact whistle with perfect volume and pitch, at first Grace is a bit annoyed but he usually forgets about it when Rocky starts talking, but slowly over time there’s barely a reaction, Infact, Grace starts reacting quicker and without thought.
Rocky, ever curious, sees if he can get Grace to associate other sounds with certain things. He’s sure it won’t work, but he’s bored out of his mind and well. For science!!
So whenever Grace eats, Rocky will make a barely audible clicking sound before hand and Grace doesn’t notice, after a week or two of this Rocky decides to test it out
So when Grace inevitably forgets to eat one day, instead of Rocky annoying Grace into doing it, he just does the clicking sound, he doesnt expect it to actually do anything but low and behold a moment later Grace looks up and says “huh. Hey Rocky I might take a break and go eat, wanna come?”
Rocky has to do everything in his power not to cackle evilly with his new found power
Edit: there’s a Grace follow up now. What am I doing with my life.
I think about this cake every day
sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious
OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:
When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.
The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?
This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.
I love a botched cake.
one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said
No One Like You
now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"
for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"
I just feel like it's important to post the Sacred Texts
The Cake Wrecks blog is one that I miss.
This man still doesn't wanna leave the 1930s...
Least productive employees fr

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op disabled reblogs but i still want this
Rocky when he’s with Grace: Stupid human, so leaky so gross. Eridians are much better, Grace is weird weird weird.
Rocky when he’s with other Eridians: if anyone insults the alien Rocky will destroy all Taumoeba. Now make him a home, demand.
my publisher: Good morning! Huh did you advertise for the pre-sale yesterday? Because we launched twelve hours ago and we already made sales!
me: yeah, i posted on tumblr
publisher: .........tumblr?
me: that's where the gays are.
(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western)
update
publisher: And what is your marketing strategy on... tumblr?
me: idk, i shitpost at 2am?
publisher: .....and it works?
me: depends on what the gays find funny at that point in time.
publisher: Could I have a link to your tumblr?
me: .......absolutely not.
(link to Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a sapphic western where 50 year old women kiss and murder)
update!
publisher: I've been looking into tumblr, have you thought of using Blaze to promote your book?
me: NO
publisher: But it seems like an efficient way to get this in front of more eyes-
me: people on tumblr hate Blaze.
publisher: There is no algorithm and you can't pay to promote a post? I don't understand how anyone advertises anything on tumblr.
me: That's the best part. They don't. They can't.
(trying to make him understand that we do not control the attention. We just have to show something shiny and gay enough and if people are interested, they'll reblog.)
(Mrs. Victoria buys a brothel, a deconstruction of the colonialist cowboy mythos dressed up as a sapphic romance.)
Re: the last post, the article mentions that some places use clams to test the toxicity of the water. It’s like that in Warsaw- we get our water from the river, and the main water pump has 8 clams that have triggers attached to their shells. If the water gets too toxic, they close, and the triggers shut off the city water supply automatically.
The clams are just better at measuring the water quality than any man-made sensors.
Edit: check out this documentary trailer : https://vimeo.com/408820791
God Bless Our Troops
They hot glued a spring to a clam and gave it full control over the water supply
No of course not, that would be ridiculous.
They hot glued springs to eight clams and gave them collective control over the water supply.
No of course not, hot glue would kill the clams.
The used silicone adhesive to attach springs to eight clams and gave them collective control over the water supply.
At some point on the journey back to Erid, Rocky gets around to asking Grace exactly why he was so mesmerised by seeing the astrophage in the Petrova line.
Grace describes it as best he can, but all he can really manage to get across to Rocky is that he was surrounded by small floating lights.
Later on, Grace is talking about the stars and how important they've been to human cultures for millennia. “What do the stars look like, question?” Rocky wants to know.
Oh, y'know, they're a bunch of small floating lights.
There's a disco ball on the Hail Mary. Grace says it's there because it “makes me happy”. “How does it make Grace happy, question?” Rocky wants to know.
Oh, it creates the illusion that he's surrounded by small floating lights.
Rocky begins to do some research.
Glitter: a substance invented by humans to make things look like they're covered in small lights.
Human jewellery: mostly involves gemstones or polished metals, designed to reflect small lights.
Christmas lights. Candles. Lanterns. Fireworks. Glowsticks. Glow in the dark paint. Rocky is beginning to notice a pattern here, statement.
It takes Grace a fucking while after getting to Erid to notice that a lot of the gifts he's receiving from grateful Eridians are either a) sparkly, b) incredibly shiny, or c) fitted with lights.
While the last one is obviously a concession for his human light sense, he's confused about the former two. Are Eridian materials usually this shiny? Is there some quality about sparkly or highly polished surfaces that makes them sound better? Or is there something about Eridian geology/metallurgy that makes their materials like this?
He asks Rocky about it.
“Simple. I tell people humans like lots of small lights. Humans are easy to make happy.”
Grace kind of wants to protest that humans are much more complicated than that.
But honestly… it fucking works. Like yeah the polished gemstones, shiny metals and glittery rocks are beautiful. Yes those Christmas lights you put up around the house did markedly improve my mental health, Rocky. Thank you, I hate it.
Grace spends a lot of time trying not to think about whether his species' urge to explore the cosmos (that saved their planet and nearly killed him several times) is tied to the same instinct that made his students like glitter gel pens.

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species swap gracerocky be upon ye. i like to think eridian grace is very very curious about humans but human rocky is Not equipped to answer all of his questions. bro knows more about machines than people. so he just shoves a laptop at grace and goes "just look it up man idk"
and eridian grace is ENAMORED. he LOVES it. so much knowledge just at the tip of his claws! oh my songs this is so much more than he could ever ask for! thank thank thank... that keeps him occupied for a Long time. rocky gets a break from all his questions. the only problem?
he likes it a little Too much.
so much so that he doesnt do anything else. he used to be so shy eating around rocky but now he'll do it so he doesnt have to step away from the laptop. he forgets to sleep! he's all grumpy angry stupid now >:0
rocky, taking the laptop away: dude i gotta limit your screentime grace, making grabby claws: noooo give it back give back portable earth thinking machine pleaseee rocky: man i didnt even think it was possible to get addicted to learning but here we are i guess
Grace and Rocky otw to Erid playing ‘eye-spy’ but specifically with their dominant sense not only to make it harder, but also to help one another understand better
Like Rocky describes his object by what they sound like and the texture
Grace describes his by how shiny it looks, and the colors/ color tones (or color feelings maybe?)
This way by the time they reach Erid, Grace has a working knowledge of how eridians perceive objects/the world, and Rocky knows enough about how humans do to make grace’s new home as suitable as possible (that’s why it’s so pretty)