Just An Average Fangirl

1. if you feel judged and hurt by others, try sleeping

2. if you feel judgmental and resentful of others, try eating (the classics)

3. if you feel uncomfortable, try showering

4. if you feel directionless and afraid, go sit outside for a bit and maybe then you'll calm down. maybe even a walk if youre feelin crazy

Great news!!

Step 1: Remove filters in Reflecting Pool because Obama put them in.

Step 2: Give your criminal neighbor who runs "Greenwater Services" a $20 million no-bid contract to paint the pool.

Step 3: Fill the pool with water from the Potomac River, the phosphates from which cause algae blooms.

Step 4: Freshly sealed pool and extreme heat result in a super scum event

Step 5: Direct National Park Service to dump hydrogen peroxide into the pool which causes the paint to peel.

Every time I feel the urge to get in a pointless internet argument, I instead go to Wikipedia and make a page for one of the Nancy Drew books that does not currently have its own page.

It is important to consider the culture of the person who created the piece, absolutely; but the different perspectives offered by the viewers is fascinating in and of itself and does not always detract from the message.

As an example, when I was younger, I watched Schindler's List. This movie is famously shot in black and white except for one section, concerning a little girl in a red coat. The camera follows her until her eventual death.

I am Turtle Island Indigenous and I was always taught that the only color spirits could see was red, because it is the color of life and blood.

So the second the girl in the red jacket came on screen, something inside me chilled with fear.

The only color in the movie was that red. At some point, I, the viewer, had died.

I remember sobbing at the sight of the burning human piles that were shown, convinced I was buried in there somewhere. The reason I had only seen red on the girl was that my death was recent. I was the ash in the air mistaken for snow. I had died before her and had followed her, helplessly, until she followed me.

The message I got for that was maybe not what the creator had intended: that there was no "being clever enough" or "good enough" or "kind enough" that would shield or protect you from such a massive tidal wave of evil.

You are not exempt from tragedy, that red jacket whispered. You are not special.

When I told some of my white friends about my experience with viewing Schindler's List, some were shocked and the rest just out-and-out mocked me for my "media illiteracy".

"it was just a filming trick to make you feel something," I remember one saying, which terrified me. How had he not felt anything even before she showed up?

The kid was picked up by an ambulance 30 minutes later.

Now as an adult working in security I get SO MANY folks- upper-middle aged mostly- coming to me to 'rat out' people they think are faking it.

I was once sent into a bathroom because a client demanded that the "fucker won't get out, so go drag them out"- I was NEVER going to do that, so I did a wellness check instead. You know who it was? A person recently released from the hospital after a car accident. They had a hole in their skull and major hearing loss. They couldn't answer the owner because they couldn't HEAR the owner.

Another time about a homeless man who got around town by kicking the ground from his wheelchair. "You know he doesn't actually need that thing, his legs work fine, it's just for pity points"- Oh, so he's not paralyzed, his wheelchair is performative? Funny story Dale, I actually know that guy, he was backed over by a truck and has chronic pain from his shattered pelvis. But sure, let's make him stand up and walk everywhere so nobody feels too bad for him and tries to help him or something.

"She doesn't need that scooter, I've seen her get out of it."

"Look how fat he is, because he just rides around and refuses to get up."

"She doesn't really need that cane- she comes here without it all the time"

We are seeing the direct consequences of this in misogynistic baby rabies manosphere, men coercing their sexual partner into keeping a pregnancy she does not want and then being baffled and disgusted when she is not a good mother or not interested in being in the child’s life.

There is definitely a double standard between fathers who have a difficult time connecting with/loving their unwanted child and mothers who have a difficult time connecting with/loving their unwanted child. Women on anonymous parenting forums are so terrified to confess that they do not feel for their infant the instantaneous all-consuming love they have been told they’re supposed to feel, that they find their child’s presence fundamentally overwhelming and they do not enjoy childrearing. This can be the result of postpartum mental health issues in wanted pregnancies but it is also a common phenomenon in babies born from unwanted pregnancies and/or conceived under abusive circumstances and in those cases, it is often a trauma both the mother and child cannot overcome.

I often find that if a man chooses not to be in his child’s life, he is often given a level of grace that a woman who made the same choice would not be given. Absent, deadbeat or otherwise uninvolved fathers are so common it ceases to be notable, a silent shame and acceptance. But women are demonized and villainized for abandoning their children, even children they did not consent to conceiving, disregarding the trauma of carrying the unwanted pregnancy to term and having to give birth. Mothers are expected to love their children unconditionally and put them first at the expense of their own wellbeing, no matter the circumstances.

You can force someone to carry a pregnancy but you cannot force them to love their child and be a mother and when the victims of coercion and abortion bans are incapable of doing what society expects of women, they’re punished even further.

There is a great deal of nuance in this topic but fundamentally, stripping away access to abortion makes everyone fucking miserable.