Don't Perceive Me

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

I have a friend I know from when we were both 6. She is the only person living nearby and so she saw me go from walking through limping to wheelchair on a daily basis. I keep her updated on my health even tho we rarely hang out anymore. She was gonna come over yesterday and I had to cancel. She asked if I can’t hang out later that day. When I said i won’t feel better later, that if I feel that bad in the morning later will only get worse she got annoyed and “joked” that I’m just finding excuses. And I was surprised, she knows all about me being disabled after all? So, a bit taken aback, I told her it’s a normal thing for me.

“But you got the diagnosis now, aren’t you better?? I thought you’ll get better now”

They thought that because I had a diagnosis that meant that things were automatically going to improve.

Because they trusted the healthcare system the same way people who watch copaganda shows trust cops.

They had no experience with the system because they’ve never gotten seriously sick before. Therefore, they were basically running under the same assumptions that every episode of House runs on- the difficult part is finding the diagnosis and after you’ve named the beast, you can slay it.

They were shocked that things hadn’t been fixed already because we live in modern times; isn’t there a cure for everything? If something hasn’t been cured surely it’s just around the corner and all you have to do is enter trials and wait. Or maybe there is a cure but it’s just too expensive. Surely there is a happy ending at the end of this episode, we just need to find out what the Real Problem is.

Maybe you need to take a pill forever and the Real Problem is getting prescribed that pill.

Maybe you haven’t found the right doctor yet and the Real Problem is getting you to that magical doctor that has all the answers and can solve any puzzle.

Maybe the Real Problem is that you were missing enough of The Vitamin and once you get a blood test to discover that you can change your diet and everything will be fixed.

They’re only exposure to the healthcare system is either TV shows where everything has a guaranteed good ending or with relatives who are elderly and they can blame things not working on “oh well they were just old.”

It’s a lack of thinking about things because they haven’t been exposed to them and having glaring blind spots that they haven’t addressed because they don’t know they’re there.