Don't Perceive Me

Everybody say "thank you south america" for the humble potato

You gotta be really publicly passionate about things if you want your friends to text you. Bc people will forget to text you because they’re human. But if you’re really openly the friend who loves identifying ants your friends will think of you when they see ants. And they’ll text you “what ant is this [blurry photo]”. And then they’ll ask you how you’ve been and we should get coffee sometime. But if they don’t know what you love they’ll never know what you like

And then when the ant convention is in town they’ll be like dude… we should go to the ant convention. But they would never think to go if they didn’t know u loved ants

And sometimes you need to ask them to go to the ant convention. But you Will not get anywhere hiding your passions

Actually, no, I don't think that friendships dropping like flies in your late 20s and early 30s because no one has time for that between overwork and family obligations and marriage and kids and partners and the ritual of the time slayer is normal and ok. No I don't think deep conversations and spontaneous adventures being replaced with a tired coffee every six months is a normal part of growing up. I don't think that emotional intimacy and soul bonds disintegrating in the face of practical inconvenience is a fact of life. I think that means something is deeply deeply wrong with our society and I will never forgive it for the friends I've lost

this but also there's a widespread unwillingness to inconvenience others and to show any kind of vulnerability. and it kills friendship faster than you can not make a five minute phone call

hearing him whimper while I shove both of his nuts in my mouth <3

mommy who’s getting something from the top shelf but your in the way, so your head is trapped between her bosom.

Seeing you tent in your pants while mommy walk(her tits are jiggling wildly cause she’s not wearing a bra)

Hey just checking the time table here, does it have "getting my fat ass stuck in a wall, not being able to pull myself back out because of my boobs, and then being used for relief by everyone who comes by" on anyone else's schedule, or is that just me?

The best cum is when it struggles to shoot out of the dick from how thick it is.

I finally saw The Odyssey, and one of my takeaways is that Robert Pattinson was tragically born too late to be a queer-coded antagonist in 1930s swashbucklers. That man is clearly meant to strike campy poses and get into his rival's personal space and be in slutty swordfights.

say what you will about Austin Powers and sexism, it did give us the (in-universe equivalent) to a female James Bond before James Bond did

And when James Bond finally did it they gave us two in one movie and utterly wasted both of them. One only got like fifteen minutes of screentime and the other was badass but in the end had to be just a little bit not as good as Bond himself. Given that it was the movie where he fucking died, that's doubly insulting.