Tofu
Not today Justin
Mike Driver
i don't do bad sauce passes

titsay
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

ellievsbear
Xuebing Du

Andulka

Discoholic 🪩
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art blog(derogatory)
Cosmic Funnies
tumblr dot com

★
hello vonnie
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@justjes3
Tofu

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“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”
The whole video is hilarious, but the conversation at the beginning kills me

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If you have a senior to check on ask them to "borrow" something small so they think they're helping you.
My mom (72) recently downsized and moved close enough to me that checking on her in person regularly is not really out of my way, but when I was obvious about it she wouldn’t let me “stop-by” because she was, “fine”.
Well, one day I actually needed some aluminum foil so I called and asked if I could borrow enough to cover a baking tin because I didn’t want to run to the store. She said sure, but when I got to her house she needed furniture moved, a wasp nest removed, and her coffee pot fixed. After I got the foil I mentioned each thing cautiously and she let me take care of them for her. So next weekend I’ll need a cup of rice and check on her again.
Even better, here’s an array of more reciprocal options for building relationship & supporting seniors’ dignity and independence:
- ask for something they can actually help you with. Elders have skills. Mending? Advice about knitting, gardening, home repair, nevermind professional training?
-ask about their experiences. “I was reading about xyz event the other day & I would love to know what that time was like for you. Can we chat about it over tea?” Goes double for family history for relatives.
-“Someone gave me this [or, I ended up with extra] & I don’t need/want it, but I bet you have a use for it. Can I bring it over? I would hate for it to go to waste.”
-work side-by-side. They get your physical help, you get their experience & expertise. “Could I come over & have you show me how you [used to] prune your gorgeous roses? I’m trying to get better with mine.”
genuinely what even IS the definition of a salad bc I swear I’ll see recipes like
warm sprouted grain and yeast salad
It depends on if you live in the Midwest vs literally anywhere else.
So if I don’t add a dressing to this. this is not a salad?
Behold, a salad!
Lest people begin roasting me for the dressing definition, it's not something I made up:
@scleroticstatue and @springsgreenleaves this seems relevant to your ongoing debate...
People who put dressings on salads are heathens.
I bet you’d think that, green leaf boy
Honestly, salads are more defined by what they are not, than by what they are.

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christian bunny: god himself guided my faithful .nose to this leafs 🥬
agnostic bunny: it's impossible to know how i found thid yumy food ☘️
athiest bunny: the material confitions of my sniffy nose allowed me to find a berries 🫐
jee-pupuja
kristitty pupu: itse jumala on ohjannut luotettavan .nenäni tämän lehdien luo 🥬
agnostinen pupu: on mahdotonta tietää kuinka löysin dämän maukaan ruoan ☘️
atiestipupu: nuuhkivan nenäni fyysiset olosuhteet antoivat minun löytää tämä marjat 🫐
so weird to return to a post after you got banned because like. sure. my posts in finnish now. its been like this for a month. thats normal
Following reports that a 20-year-old man had been arrested for throwing a Moltov cocktail at Sam Altman’s home, the suspect stated Monday that he only initiated the attack because he was following a ChatGPT recipe for risotto. “I’ve been using ChatGPT to help with cooking for a while now, so I didn’t think too much of it when the ingredients list included a bottle filled with gasoline and a cloth wick,” said the alleged attacker, who added that he naturally assumed making the rice dish involved driving several hours to the OpenAI CEO’s residence, especially after the AI chatbot had given him a “pretty decent” sesame chicken recipe the week before.
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By the time the smoke had fully curled in on itself and solidified into flesh and bone, the air inside the circle was smouldering hot. It made the entry into the human realm less jarring, the demon found, and he took the time to flex his wings in the warmth before turning his eyes upon the figure in the robe.
“Speak,” he commanded. “And state why you have Summoned me.”
The figure raised her head to meet his eyes. “Is this a good time for you?”
The demon’s mind stumbled. “Excuse me?”
“Well,” the voice continued. “I did just summon you, like, out of nowhere. I checked all the spells to see if there was one to just send a message or something, but it seemed to be summon or nothing. If this is a bad time for you, I can absolutely try again later though.”
On second inspection, it wasn’t a robe his summoner was wearing. It was a long, sturdy apron. What his still adjusting sight had taken for a hood was a shawl tied round her hair. The demon stared at her with unblinking eyes. “It is as good a time as any, witch.”
“Oh good,” the witch smiled. “That’s a relief.”
“Why did you summon me?” the demon demanded again. This kind of small talk was highly irregular. He squinted at the stains on the witch’s hands, most of which he suspected were nothing more sinister than ink and juice. “What reason could you possibly have to call upon the likes of me.”
“Well, their names are Storm and Letitia and they need a babysitter.”
The demon stared at her some more. “They what-”
The witch met him with a smile of sunshine enthusiasm. “I checked your references in the Necronomicon, you are very good with kids!”
“I…” His bewilderment left him scrambling for words. “I tempted the minds of neglected children to cause them to swarm and lay waste to their town!”
“Yeah! It said in the book that they were all under ten years old and that there were at least twenty of them. That must have taken a lot of skill!”
The demon shifted his weight a little. When she put it like that… “It is one of my more infamous accomplishments.”
“Really impressive,” the witch nodded admiringly. “So I was hoping…maybe we can work something out? The kids would love getting to hang out with a demon.”
“Surely your kind has its own caretakers to hire.”
She deflated a little. “Yeah, well. Letitia has just started levitating and Storm is very focussed on animal transformations right now. Which is great! He’s so talented. But half the time he refuses to turn himself back when it’s time for dinner and, well, not everyone wants to deal with feeding a Iberian Lynx.
“Iberian Lynx?” he repeated, raising a ridged eyebrow.
“They’re both very fond of felines,” the witch clarified.
“I see.” The demon looked from the witch to the circle around him (it seemed to have been drawn with blue sidewalk chalk) and then to the room around her. There were several large diagrams on the wall with arcane symbols and occult sigils. Between them were drawings. A lot of them. Mostly of cats. Several of them had wings, or horns. He looked back at the witch again.
“Tell me,” he said, slowly sinking down into a cross-legged position on the floor. “Exactly how old are they?”
WLONK
You think you know a language... and then you run into stuff like this.
I was paging through the OED the other day, having overshot "wizard", and then saw this at the bottom of a page, and my jaw dropped.
...And also:
"Wlonkful." "Wlonkhead." "Wlonkness."
(wanders off, shaking head)
WLONKYou think you know
a language… and then you run
into stuff like this.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

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tiktoks with vine energy pt. 27
That bird is so excited to play the harp.
Thank you so much @eldriwolf !