on my vigilante shit again.

Character, book, and author names under the cut

It is a perfect and absolute inversion of the wretched cishet male action hero. (I SWEAR I am going to write that essay soon.)

It had to write itself new programming to move like a human. It still never knows what to do with its hands.

Its story is about finding friendship and connection with people who accept you as you are, even if who you are makes no sense to them.

Its favorite activity is watching cheesy TV shows.

Its growth as a person is uneven and awkward.

It is an S-tier hater who will pull out all the stops to protect its people.

Everyone around it thinks it's an awkward, silently brooding presence, meanwhile it's keeping up a running commentary of the cattiest, most petty, funniest shit.

It is capable of obscene violence and does everything it can to avoid using it.

It couldn't tell you what it's feeling if you put a gun to its head, and it knows this about itself.

For example: I can't read any ABO AUs set in England or France because while I can suspend my disbelief far enough for a gender trinary set up, I can't suspend it enough to believe those two countries would still be distinct entities in a alternate history where Richard the Lionheart could have impregnated Philip II.

If there was a viable dynastic future with Richard, Philip would have climbed him like an oak and dragged him to the altar if he had to. It's a match that makes perfect sense from both their points of view: Philip gets Aquitaine back under French rule, the best general in Europe on his council, and a powerful check on the Angevins... then unexpectedly (after Henry the Young bites it) the entire Kingdom of England for his Capetian dynasty. Richard meanwhile gets to stick it to his father, secure Aquitaine's prosperity, and gets the leverage to start pushing for his mother's release. Then when Henry kicks the bucket Richard doesn't actually have to be King of England in anything but name: Philip can run the countries and unify the Crowns and what not while Richard runs off to go Crusading.

Plus they also like, loved each other and stuff and being able to get to be together long term instead of being torn apart by politics would have been cool. But I'm mainly obsessed with the historical and dynastic implications.

In this AU, it’s unlikely that an Anglo-Frank union could last due to differences in succession laws between the two realms. What would happen if an Alpha died without an heir? Would Betas be treated similarly to Alphas for succession purposes? Could succession pass through Beta or even Omega lines? Succession laws were quite difficult to change, with modifications to royal succession often resulting in civil and/or international wars.

our lives matter more than your fucking nostalgia.

AHHHHHHHHHHH

Every actor is dirtier and sweatier

Barely any cgi

Everybody is ugly

There is a single light source, maybe 2, per scene. It is also colorful.

Every production needs a storyboard artist, who storyboards the film after the script is done and before they start filming

There is a lot of silence, pauses,

everybody is ugly

the holy cinematography grail is star trek the original series