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@jeanboulet
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Queer Book Character Tournament Final Round
Adam Parrish- The Raven Cycle
Murderbot- The Murderbot Diaries
Character, book, and author names under the cut
REITERATING MURDERBOT PROPAGANDA FROM PREVIOUS ROUND:
It is a perfect and absolute inversion of the wretched cishet male action hero. (I SWEAR I am going to write that essay soon.)
It had to write itself new programming to move like a human. It still never knows what to do with its hands.
Its story is about finding friendship and connection with people who accept you as you are, even if who you are makes no sense to them.
Its favorite activity is watching cheesy TV shows.
Its growth as a person is uneven and awkward.
It is an S-tier hater who will pull out all the stops to protect its people.
Everyone around it thinks it's an awkward, silently brooding presence, meanwhile it's keeping up a running commentary of the cattiest, most petty, funniest shit.
It is capable of obscene violence and does everything it can to avoid using it.
It couldn't tell you what it's feeling if you put a gun to its head, and it knows this about itself.
It once teleported down a hallway to avoid hearing about a friend's romantic spat.
Come on, Murderbot fans, we can't let it fall behind. I'll repeat my previous propaganda: This one is for the Agenders, Aromantics, and Asexuals. Murderbot's an it/its pronoun user, NOT here for gender, sex or romanceâand moreover, its staunch refusal of these normative "human" identities underscores themes about agency and self-determination and the right to say no. It doesn't do the "asexual robot" trope, eitherâthe ace queerness is very much a Murderbot individual thing, because of who it is, not a SecUnit-wide thing.
What could be more queer than the refusal to define yourself by society's ideas of gender and sexual and identity? If you'd like to see an aro, ace, agender character win the Queer Book Character Tournament, then vote Murderbot!
you have this superpower! BUT you have this side-effect
is it worth it?
yes!!
the side effect is bad but ITS WORTH IT
meh it's okay
the side effect makes it unusable/not worth it
Results/option I didn't think of
My toxic trait is that I am far more interested in the socio-economic and geopolitical implications of ABO settings than the smut.
For example: I can't read any ABO AUs set in England or France because while I can suspend my disbelief far enough for a gender trinary set up, I can't suspend it enough to believe those two countries would still be distinct entities in a alternate history where Richard the Lionheart could have impregnated Philip II.
If there was a viable dynastic future with Richard, Philip would have climbed him like an oak and dragged him to the altar if he had to. It's a match that makes perfect sense from both their points of view: Philip gets Aquitaine back under French rule, the best general in Europe on his council, and a powerful check on the Angevins... then unexpectedly (after Henry the Young bites it) the entire Kingdom of England for his Capetian dynasty. Richard meanwhile gets to stick it to his father, secure Aquitaine's prosperity, and gets the leverage to start pushing for his mother's release. Then when Henry kicks the bucket Richard doesn't actually have to be King of England in anything but name: Philip can run the countries and unify the Crowns and what not while Richard runs off to go Crusading.
Plus they also like, loved each other and stuff and being able to get to be together long term instead of being torn apart by politics would have been cool. But I'm mainly obsessed with the historical and dynastic implications.
All this to say any ABO au set in England or France that doesn't have them united as a singular Anglo-Frank empire is doing it wrong.
The concept of A/B/O also introduces the question of what succession law would look like under a gender trinary. England historically used cognatic succession, where female scions and their descendants could inherit titles if there were no surviving males from the previous dynastâs line, whereas France used agnatic succession, where succession could only pass through male lines.
In this AU, itâs unlikely that an Anglo-Frank union could last due to differences in succession laws between the two realms. What would happen if an Alpha died without an heir? Would Betas be treated similarly to Alphas for succession purposes? Could succession pass through Beta or even Omega lines? Succession laws were quite difficult to change, with modifications to royal succession often resulting in civil and/or international wars.
So I see your A/B/O geopolitical hypothetical and raise you that while Philip WOULD climb Richard like an oak and bear him multiple viable heirs, the Anglo-Frankish Union wouldnât last long due to differences in how the kingdoms would be inherited by the descendants of those multiple heirs. And with the complexities of succession laws in a gender trinary, the War of the Roses would only be more insane.
This is literally what the Schleswig-Holstein Question was about. Well, the âconflicting laws of successionâ bit, anyway. Not so much the ABO stuff. (But with the Schleswig-Holstein Question, who knows? Well, Lord Palmerston and two other people. But you see my point.)
What being on this site is like: every so often one of the flaming dumpsters floating by drops a fully realized academic paper overboard, and it floats over to you and you read it and it upends your understanding and revolutionizes your appreciation of a major geopolitical underpinning of European history upon which the very shape of modern civilization rests.
It's got medieval-style illustrations of Richard the Lionheart balls deep in Philip the Second, and they're thematically relevant.
big mama đ§

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if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stickâŚsome people like driving automaticâŚwhat matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people
he literally did in the fourth one when he's asked if he likes cars more than women
If you asked if he was cool with trans people, he'd probably say "sometimes, aftermarket parts are the only way to get the vehicle you really want. Everyone should have the right to hot rod."
Which of these long pasta shapes is your favorite?
Angel Hair
Linguine
Spaghetti
Bucatini
Fettuccine
These uncultured fucks have never had bucatini
This is literally the overcooked pasta and a jar of red sauce website so Iâm not surprised..
I have Things To Do, Things I should have done a while ago, but am tragically stricken with a chronic case of Don't Wanna Syndrome.
i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick itâs a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake
fabulousÂ
i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where youâre coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.
#HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY

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Has anyone figured out whatâs so viscerally wrong with this woman yet
Sheâs so one dimensionally evil you guys đđ how is she real
read this and remember it. read this and remember that she is going to use the profits of her fucking ego-stroking reboot to decimate trans rights. read this and remember that every time you pay into her IP, you are emboldening her to hurt us more.
our lives matter more than your fucking nostalgia.
trans lives matter more than your fucking nostalgia.
Roasted chicken, ginger, daikon, shiitake mushroom soup with lime, cilantro, broccoli sprouts, and rice noodles
Thank u for this contribution
Souphelia
spoonful of peanut butter will save you
Okay story time I figured out that the insane heartburn I was getting like clockwork every month was bc I was taking pain meds for my periods on an empty stomach. Changed my routine and started eating a spoonful of pb bc it was all I had, no more heartburn. I am officially the age where the side effects actually affect me đ
AHHHHHHHHHHH
NEW TRAILER!!1

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Do people not know that A03 has a Share button that will automatically generate a Tumblr post with your title, rating, summary, link, and tags that you can just post?
I've been seeing what feels like an increasing amount of folks just slapping the link in a post -- and not even a hyperlink, just the raw link -- and calling it good.
WHAT
Please, my friends, spread the word! Show our fellows there is an easier path to share their work!
I will fix cinema:
Every actor is dirtier and sweatier
Barely any cgi
Everybody is ugly
There is a single light source, maybe 2, per scene. It is also colorful.
Every production needs a storyboard artist, who storyboards the film after the script is done and before they start filming
There is a lot of silence, pauses,
everybody is ugly
the holy cinematography grail is star trek the original series
EDIT: I KNOW LIGHT DOES NOT WORK LIKE THIS this is a shitpost