Jada

I had a dream that Joe Biden kept trying to sneak back into the white house to become the president again and he had a variety of silly disguises like in one he was wearing a big moustache and top hat and introduced himself as Job Iden and tried to sell trump snake oil and trump was super interested until his moustache fell off and then JD vance was like "wait a minute.. that's joe biden!!" amd he was like "welp, gotta run, see ya later jack!" and then all the evil white house staff were shaking their heads cus joe biden almost sneaked into the white house and the newest aid was there and she was like "That was a close call, Mr President" and his new aide was actually kamala harris wearing a big cartoon wig and they were all too distracted by joe biden to notice

yknow when you can tell that someones opinion on the homeless is dictacted by the fact they seem to imagine every homeless person just like. spawned in the back alleys of a city as a fully grown scruffy hobo with no life goals other than scrounging enough pocket change for a hit of Drugs™ . like you suggest that perhaps a homeless person was not always homeless and probably had a life and a childhood like the rest of us and they blank like they genuinely didnt consider it. like they forgot thats a human being too.

please please please remember that no matter what your manager says, it is never that serious. unless you are literally performing surgery or defusing a bomb, it simply is not that serious

my unpopular opinion is that i hate tiktok because now people just publicly watch loud ass videos in public spaces with no regard for anyone else. 100% it was not this bad with youtube, it’s such a different thing with tiktok. put on headphones. you are grown.

Best art history lesson ever, thank you

[ID: a tweet by @/sapvonela that reads “you eat a fruit in the middle of summer and suddenly you are the happiest person alive”. /end ID]

wearing sky-colored shoes to hide from the devil. earth colored hat to hide from god

Iron breastplate to ward off fairies, Fishnet leggings to ward off cod.

Item: outfit to hide from various supernatural forces (and certain fish)

and if your thought is “wow, is that a crow?” it’s a grackle

@todaysbird

Wow, is that a grackle? No, starling.

Mark the electrician has been here for five minutes and he’s already said “well that’s…weird” twice from the other room and frankly I’m afraid to ask.

It’s not good when skilled tradesman are standing in the middle of your room pinching the bridge if their nose, is it?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO NEUTRAL WIRES??!?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S GROUNDED INTO THE SCREWS HOLDING UP THE CEILING LIGHT???!?!!

IT WAS WHAT?

had a shit day yesterday and ended up going bonkers insane on the wikipedia entry for soup. did you guys know that the original french word "restaurant" meant a type of soup!!!!! i know the word is difficult to pronounce for non-speakers (ppl here in germany have trouble with it too) but try to think of it as a form of "restore." and now youre eating a "restorant." something that's supposed to restore your energy. that's more or less how the word is pronounced, because that's the type of soup it was!!!!!! and then in 1765 a guy in paris opened up a shop where you could eat restaurant and other places started to copy it and call themselves restaurants!!! and now every time you eat anywhere youre AT SOUP!!!!!!! arent humans so fucking good i love it here. my body hurts so much but i am no longer crying about it because there will always be someone somewhere in the world who desperately wants to help me with soup

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE AT SOUP

WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE RESTAURANT

Perry spends this episode fixing the wall he put a hole through on the way in

officially diagnosed with bed too cozy disease

yo mr white can you switch me back to wet food this dry shit sucks bitch

I think indeed dot com should have a comment section