Worm Food

hate tweets that are like “men will live in apartments like this and not see any problem” *picture of a poor person’s house*

i was thinking about that tweet when i made this post, thank you

Mistook the couch as your palm and thought this was the tiniest sweater in the world

God forbid you ask a pharmacy to fill a prescription

do you think a cornered mouse would dream of cheese

come on man

"these researchers published a paper on something that literally any of us could have told you 🙄" ok well my supervisors wont let me write something in my thesis unless I can back it up with a citation so maybe it's a good thing that they're amplifying your voice to the scientific community in a way that prevents people from writing off your experiences as annecdotal evidence

they did the research in the first place because they believed you and wanted to tell people about it. they are not our enemies.

The thing about Miss Piggy is that she kind of has a Roger Rabbit comedy superpower where she wins nearly any conceivable fight she's in. But unlike other characters of which that's true, like say, Bugs Bunny, who tend to win because they make the opponent play the game with their rules, Miss Piggy wins because the joke is that she can beat the shit out of literally anybody.

Alternatively: Thanos starts giving a villain speech and she just punches him in the throat because it's her turn to speak.

attaching something to an email is so scary. what if i accidentally put hard-core porn in there. i don't think i have any downloaded but what if i do and i attached it to the email. what then.

black mold and lead can’t affect me because i’m pure of heart

asbestos knows i’m really really cool and will let me do whatever

So many people never learned to live with harmless discomfort at any point in their lives and holy fuck does it show

the way men think eating meat feeds into their masculinity is so fucking funny like miss thing you didn’t wrestle that shit with your bare hands you took your dumpy ass to costco in your wife’s pt cruiser you might as well be a drag queen at this point

Arugula is some crap they found on the ground for real

thats because its plance. there are others as well