irrsal & wirrsal

Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"

image description: tweet by @/topherflorence, reading: back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale /end description

I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT

(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store

i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me

sometimes you think yeah i'm over this hyperfixation then you log onto tumblr dot com and your mutual is blorbo posting in such a niche and perverted way that it relights the flame for another decade

I am not immune to propaganda, all it takes is a few gifs of some gay bullshit happening and i'm locked in

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

when a mutual posts a poll you know nothing about, but they say "orangutan johnson my beloved, orangutan johnson sweep!!!!" you vote for orangutan johhnson. it's called loyalty.

bro the ethics committee is NOT going to be happy with our methodologies 😂😂😂

being single sucks [remembers that romantic love isnt the gleaming beacon of salvation that will fix the chasm within me] #mychasm #isupportmychasm [remembers not to trivialize my emotions] but it is painful to never have been deemed worthy of that kind of lasting love [remembers how many incels there are] but honestly you should be totally self-sufficient and never want anything ever [remembers that im evil] im evil