idiots (affectionate)・[36/?] ⤷ 2.21 — “The Calusari”

if i look back, i am lost
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idiots (affectionate)・[36/?] ⤷ 2.21 — “The Calusari”

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AU where things are the same but they are on a reality TV show.
Close enough.
[Audience cheering. Theme music plays.]
Jerry Springer: Welcome to the show! Today we have a consulting detective, his best friend, and the wife who’s been keeping more secrets than either of them. Please welcome Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, and Mary Watson!
[Audience applauds. Sherlock looks annoyed. John looks uncomfortable. Mary smiles politely.]
Jerry: Sherlock, why are you here?
Sherlock: Because my brother made me choose between this and therapy. I weighed my odds and thought this was the lesser of two evils.
Jerry: And has it been?
Sherlock: No.
[Audience laughs.]
Jerry: John, what’s the biggest problem in your friendship with Sherlock?
John: Well he did pretend to be dead for two years, that will put a damper on any kind of relationship.
Sherlock: You are still holding on to that? I came back months ago.
[Audience chatter.]
Jerry: Mary, you’ve had some secrets too.
Mary: Fair enough.
Jerry: Former assassin. Fake identities. International operations.
Mary: When you say it like that, I sound kind of cool.
John: YOU SHOT SHERLOCK!
Mary: In my defense, I aimed carefully.
Sherlock: She did. It was very well done. Quite professional.
Jerry: Hold on. You got shot by your best friend’s wife and you’re complimenting her?
Sherlock: Competence should be acknowledged in all its forms.
[Audience laughs.]
Jerry: John, who causes you more stress?
John: Honestly?
Sherlock and Mary: Me.
John: Exactly!
[Audience applause.]
Jerry: Final question for John, who do you love more … Sherlock or Mary?
John: I… I…
Mary: John?
John: Um… Err…..
Sherlock: well , John?
[John throws a chair and runs off stage. Audience starts chanting “Jerry! Jerry!]
Jerry: Well, we’ve learned that friendship, marriage, and detective work are all complicated. And between that complication we might solve something bigger than crimes… our love for one another. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other.
Sherlock: You only say that since the television network wants you to sound compassionate while they actively encourage scandal and shock value, potentially ruining people’s lies and familial relationships.
[Jerry mimes to the camera to cut the feed and muffled sounds of a detective being strangled while the credits roll and the audience applauds.]
“The entire Sherlock fandom is sustained on the ridiculous belief that it’s perfectly normal to edit and reblog the same exact screencaps in hundreds of different ways”
—
-sherlockses (x)
That’s the point of my entire blog.
(via barachiki)
Focus.
source

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happy sherlock holmes day! in celebration, im letting them have a train compartment for themselves
A Thousand Words: Resuscitation
Inspired by the fabulous @dragonnan's Blood and Romance (included by permission)
*
Too old for this: my first half-thought as I flail and thrash my way back to consciousness. I’m underwater, aching to breathe, but I’ll die if I do; but it isn’t cold enough, I’m not wet, where the hell I hurt all over and something’s wrong, it’s dark where is Sherlock
If I’m not under water, I can breathe; I open my lips a hair and no water floods in, so I take a careful breath and it’s air. Not sweet, God no, tastes like mould and sewage, but definitely air, and shakily I suck it in.
I blink and try to focus but can’t see anything. Where the hell am I, and where is Sherlock? There—a second complete thought, even if it’s just the ragged scraps from before stringing together into sense, that’s got to be a good sign.
Okay. Okay. Stop, where am I. Listen.
In a silence so loud, a darkness so complete, I can hear my racing heartbeat even over my ragged panting—but nothing else, not close by. I can’t breathe through my nose at all. I try to shift to generate some sound, get some idea at least of what kind of surface I’m near or on. Take stock: everything hurts but I can’t tell from what, I can’t gather any sensory data to extrapolate anything from. (Sherlock would say, deduce. I’m not Sherlock. He’d know what to do to get some clarity here; I’m just starting to panic.)
finish reading on AO3
*
A Thousand Words: A picture's proverbially worth a thousand words and often inspires them, though the words may be many more or many fewer, as the Muse decides. Each chapter is a one-shot, inspired (so far) by @kettykika78, @justanobsessedpan, @stephdrawsjohnlock, @bluebellofbakerstreet, @petite-madame, and now dragonnan: more to come.
Thank you to all the artists who do fanworks: you are a constant inspiration. And to the betas (@copperplatebeech for this ficlet) you are a godsend. And to the readers: we wouldn't be posting our stories without you.
Thanks for reblogging! Let me know whether to tag or untag you.
As John looked over the hills towards the military base, Sherlock really thinks he should have considered wearing a warmer outfit.
Priorities.
The Final Problem of Baz Culpeper, Ch 13
...The Final Chapter!
A candle (💗romance💗); an offer (YES); a party (is it my birthday?) The future begins (with a dance).
It's been such a pleasure to revisit John and Sherlock in this universe, and to have you along for the journey. Thank you for reading, thank you for your comments 💕
Thank you for reblogging! 💗
@lisbeth-kk @meetinginsamarra @copperplatebeech @lhrinchelsea @totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @missdeliadili @redmondcollege @naefelldaurk @chinike @peanitbear @raina-at @7-percent @rampant-mayhem @readingwithgwen @loves-to-read-fanfic @helloliriels @a-victorian-girl @chriscalledmesweetie @stellacartography @thegildedbee @otterpuff11 @masterofhounds @acumberlockedgirl @jobooksandcoffee @mydogwatson @whatnext2020 @ghostofnuggetspast @debzwez @solarmama-plantsareneat @lhrinhampstead

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I was wondering if you would ever draw more of Martin Freeman's John Watson I really loved how you drew him previously. Also your art is so amazing and beautiful keep it up!! 💕
John Watson, and Sherlock
left you a note.
@sherlockholmestheconsultor
since im starting to use tumblr more i thought to myself: why not post this silly little video here too?
i made it a while ago but whatever
The most underrated moment in the series.
I feel safer with you near.
reblogging myself because I need to stop posting at 3 in the morning

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A power play with the most powerful family in Britain, now that is a dominatrix.
Shack