Another old poem from an out-of-print collection that I rewrote to fit a MSR theme. I can hardly bear anything post-S7, but here we go.
It's on Ao3, too: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85942206
On the Run
There is a photograph of him
asleep on a bed
in a motel room,
his head resting on the pillow
– a dark cloud in the semi-darkness
of a hot July afternoon
(dandelion clock
ticking our time away,
make a wish, make a wish
that will save us before it’s too late).
He’s far away
in his own space,
in this moment
that will not repeat itself
in the years to come.
I can see the boy he once was,
an innocence no one can judge.
In that room in New Mexico,
or Utah, or Colorado,
I still believe we’ll be like this
from now on, one and separate.
And there is one thing this picture
will not reveal to anyone but me
because it happens outside its edges:
in his sleep he has placed
his hand on my leg
both claiming and protecting me --
Love does not diminish with time and age,
with the fear that will follow
nor be altered by pain,
the gaze of others
who cannot see what a photograph
recounts of love, of who we were,
what it discloses,
nor the secrets it keeps to itself.
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Journey to the Truth - tangent: Housekeeping (Misc Fic Recs)
As any avid fic reader knows, fic recs somehow just accumulate. How I happened upon the work, when, etc... who knows? But if I read something that really hits, I can't help but screenshot it as a reminder to shout it out into the fandom. The creator gifted us with something that I love, and maybe you will too. This is how I say thanks.
Post-episode: One Breath (S2 E08)
"Please Come Back" by sagan_starstuff - this was the first of sagan's that I read, and it is just...
Mid-episode: 731 (S3 E10)
"The X Between Us/Season 3, Chapter 10: E10 - 731" by Atths2 - a series by episode that I am hoping to catch up on in order to add to my rewatch regulars; the insight on this one is fab
Mid-episode: Herrenvolk (S4 E01)
"The View from the Outer Office: Herrenvolk" by Lara Means - I enjoy all of these fics written from Kimberly's POV, but this one in particular. I think it's because it's the setup for that scene in the hospital hallway? (M&S move through the crowd as if no one else were there)
Set After Terma (S4 E09), But Before Tempus Fugit (S4 E17)
"Bright Time (It's the Right Time) by sospooky (backintimeforstuff) - I am not big on Christmas fic, but here we are
"The Haiku Files" by geekgirl25 - a series of poems by episode that is currently at the same point that I am with my rewatch (S5 complete with FTF coming up). Here are a couple of my favorites from Volume Four: "Chapter 20: Small Potatoes" (S4 E20) "Chapter 25: Custody" (S4 E18)
Mid-episode: Demons (S4 E23)
"In Times of Trouble, Chapter 6: Demons" by stolendreams - I previously recommended from this series on my Scully's Cancer Recs and believe it is still in progress; his and hers angst here
Five Years In - Unspecified Timeframe
"It Just Happened" by beagentlesoul - current work-in-progress where M&S cross that inevitable line; explicit
General, Unspecified Timeframe
"Escape Speed" by Punk - short with early season feels
"Destined Reckoning - a Journey through The Stand" by Spark_a_Flame1013 - an msr set in Stephen King's post-apocalyptic world, but it is an independent story. This one's a long journey. I may have a thing for journeys.
xxxxx
Beyond the Pale: These fic are set in Season 6 or later, beyond where I've posted in my rewatch blog. Newbies be warned. Here there be spoilers.
Set sometime after Triangle (S6 E03)
"The Lake" by MSR_Pusher - from this past MSR Bingo challenge; this is unspeakably good
Set sometime in Season 6, Unspecified
"The Darkness Within" by Fox_sync - another current work-in-progress, this one features ProfilerMulder on the hunt, and Scully gets to see the dark side up close and personal. It's a psychological angst-fest, not for the faint of heart. I'm addicted.
Set sometime after All Things (S7 E17)
"You, Me, and The Rain" by Baroness_Blixen - from this past Fluffuary, I can't resist the Mulder spin on this scene. The timing doesn't really matter, but M&S are in an established relationship.
"Yes" by TabithaJean - from Fictober 2025, early relationship; super-short, it cuts straight to the truth
Pre-Revival (S10)
"I believe in us" by Baroness_Blixen - revival breakup makes me bawl. This is no exception, but I love the way BB writes Scully's insistence on hope
I don't really know which writers are on Tumblr. If you see your name, I'm happy to tag you. Just let me know. Thanks again for writing and reading and dreaming of the msr with me.
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But he did ruin her life. He’s the reason her sister is dead and the reason she had cancer and can’t have children.
It's amazing that you can ascribe total control over the universe to Mulder and not an ounce of self-determination or autonomy to Scully, who could have quit at any time but wanted to be there and chose to continue the work because it fascinated and compelled her as a scientist and spoke deeply to her sense of justice as a military kid and a person of faith. That really speaks to your understanding of and deep care about women. Isn't it just great when someone claims to love and defend a character and in so doing reduces them to just a Little Lady who couldn't possibly be making these decisions on her own?
The hurt of his answer lands before she has a chance to reason through it, and Scully rises to her feet as Mulder curls back into a ball, giving him the space he seems to need. She can’t think of a single time in their partnership when he wanted physical distance from her. Even during their most fraught conversations, they rarely put more than an arm’s length between them.
She takes a steadying breath, reluctant to tell Diana what he just said. Doing so would be admitting that Diana might be at least partially right about his mysterious illness, and Scully is hesitant to believe a word the woman says.
Breathing through the knot of emotions in her chest, she speaks into the phone. “He said yes.”
“Dammit,” Diana curses, her tone tight with urgency.
Scully studies Mulder, trying to understand what combination of Diana’s influence and whatever unknown toxin is affecting him has convinced him that her presence is hurting him. She trusts Mulder, but she’s starting to suspect Diana may be using his illness to push them further apart.
“Is he in immediate danger?” she finally asks, refocusing herself. When Diana doesn’t immediately answer, Scully’s grip tightens on the phone. “Does he need an ambulance, Diana? Talk to me!”
“I’m not sure—I’m thinking—” Diana stutters with uncharacteristic clumsiness.
“What do you know?” Scully barks. “What were you and Mulder investigating? What could he have been given? Did he ingest a—a toxin of some sort? A street drug?”
She’s making a mental list of potential hallucinogens when a thought suddenly occurs to her. Dropping to her knees, she starts to unbutton Mulder’s shirt. If there’s an injection site anywhere on his skin, it could explain what was done to him.
“I don’t know more without seeing him,” Diana admits, her breathing quickened as if she’s running.
“Then who is Daniel Parsons?” Scully asks as she runs her eyes over Mulder’s bare arms and torso, finding nothing unusual. “Did he have this same condition?”
“Agent Scully, that’s something I can’t tell you—”
“I’m a medical doctor, dammit,” Scully curses as Mulder groans and shoves weakly at her hands. “If you would just tell me what you were investigating, I could start to treat him—”
“I’ll explain when I get there—”
“And how long will that be?” Scully hisses. “Because he’s clearly in a great deal of pain and the longer you keep me in the dark, the longer he suffers. You seem hellbent on guarding your investigation, but if Mulder dies because of your secrets, I will personally wring your neck until your eyes pop out of your head!”
“Calm down, Dana!” Diana shouts, startling Scully. “You’re just making him worse!”
As if on cue, Mulder cries out, rising to his hands and knees right before retching all over the floor. Scully inhales sharply, moving to place a palm on his back and rubbing circles soothingly across his shoulders, even as her eyes continue to scan his body for potential wounds.
“I’m here,” she says into his ear, and he tips his forehead to her knees. “It’s me, I’m here.”
“What’s happening now?” Diana asks, and Scully hears a car door slam shut in the background.
“He’s getting worse.” Mulder rubs his head across her lap, his hands curling into fists. A moment later, he turns to the side and vomits again. “Diana, I swear to God, if you don’t tell me what I need to know to keep him alive and comfortable—”
“You need to leave,” Diana insists, her tone dark. “The best thing you can do for Agent Mulder right now is to get the hell out of his apartment.”
She scoffs. “Over my dead body.”
With care, she extracts Mulder from her lap and darts to the kitchen, ripping a paper towel from the dispenser and filling a glass of water. From the sink, she glances back at him. He’s gone slack against the floor, but worry gnaws at her. She can’t explain what’s happening to him, and she can’t properly treat him. When he starts to curl back into himself, she rushes back to his side, where she cleans his mouth and then holds the cup to his lips. He swallows once then collapses back into her. She presses one hand to his chest, keeping track of the erratic beats of his heart.
Diana is speaking. “I acknowledge that you have been Agent Mulder’s partner for several years, and it may seem counterintuitive to leave him in distress,” she says, her tone clipped and oddly formal, “but I swear to you that it would be best if you left him for now. I’ll be able to handle his symptoms once I’m there. We’ve seen it before in the other victims—”
The word nearly stops her heart. “Victims, Diana? You’re telling me this is fatal?”
“Mulder and I think we have procured an antidote, and I’m retrieving it from my office as we speak,” Diana interrupts, her voice rising over Scully’s. “Agent Mulder will live. But while he’s in this state, he needs space from you. I beg you to give it to him.”
With hands trembling from outrage, Scully stabs the End Call button and returns her attention to Mulder, who is trying to wrestle out of her grip. His eyes crack open and her stomach lurches when she sees a small trickle of blood slide from his tear duct down the bridge of his nose.
“My God,” she whispers in horror, her palm cupping his cheek.
Mulder cringes away from her, rolling tighter into himself and gritting his teeth. “Do what she said,” he grinds out. “Leave, please,” he gasps. “I’ll explain . . . after she brings. . . the medicine . . . .”
She shakes her head resolutely and squeezes his wrist gently even as her heart races. “I’m not leaving you, Mulder, especially not to take an unknown substance without first ensuring it’s safe for you. You’re having some sort of medical emergency that I’ll be able to treat once I know more—”
“’S not medical,” he slurs, and more blood begins to seep from his eyes.
Panic flaring, Scully darts into his bathroom and wets a washcloth, which she uses to clean the blood from his cheeks and mouth. His eyes are shut tight and he’s starting to sweat, moisture pooling in the dip of his breastbone.
Every few minutes, she glances at the clock, wondering if Diana was lying or if she’s truly en route with this supposed antidote. When twenty minutes have passed, she debates calling the ambulance, but a sound at the door stills her fingers on the phone. Scully flies across the room to usher in Diana, something she never anticipated doing with such eagerness.
Diana glares at her darkly, fury in her eyes. “I told you to leave,” she hisses, and Mulder cries out in agony from the floor. The rage in Diana’s face instantly evaporates and she drops to her knees, fumbling in her bag.
“I’m here, Fox,” she says soothingly, but Mulder seems to be declining more rapidly now. Fresh blood drips from his nose and ears, a steady trickle now staining his skin.
“Show me the medicine,” Scully demands, kneeling across from her. “Tell me what’s happening to him!”
Ignoring her, Diana extracts a plastic case from her bag and pops it open to reveal a set of syringes. Automatically, Scully reaches for one, determined to check the medicine and dosage for safety, but Diana smacks her hand away. Indignation flares in her gut.
“Do you even know what you’re about to inject him with? One incorrect calculation could be fatal. He could have a reaction that you haven’t anticipated, an allergy we haven’t noted—”
“He’s dying, Agent Scully, and it’s because you insist on remaining here,” Diana accuses sharply, deftly prepping one of the syringes. She meets Scully’s eye angrily. “You did this to him, and if his reaction is anything less than positive, you have only yourself to blame.”
Scully meets her glare. “If you would take one minute to explain what I’m looking at, I could help. I’m a doctor, and I—”
Mulder moans and his eyes roll back in his head, foam gathering at his mouth. Diana hisses as the seizure begins taking his consciousness, and she pushes Mulder onto his side, yanking down his pants to inject the syringe below his waist.
“Wait!” Scully cries, lunging for the needle. Her eyes fly over the packaging of the mysterious antidote, but the labeling is blank. Horrified, she stares up at Diana. “What did you give him?”
Mulder twitches violently. Dropping the syringe, Scully reaches out to steady him, shocked when he goes still, flopping onto his back. Terror thrumming through her veins, she presses her ear to his chest, assuring herself of the shallow rise and fall of his breathing, her fingers racing across his wrist for a pulse check.
“What is this?” she whispers in disbelief.
“It may take another dose,” Diana murmurs to herself.
Scully shakes her head. “Not until you tell me what’s in that syringe.”
Diana levels her with a coolly superior gaze. “It’s working, isn’t it?”
Scully studies Mulder, equal parts relieved and surprised to find that he seems to have settled.
“His condition is more . . . immediate than the other victims we’ve seen,” Diana continues as she begins to prep another dose. Scully considers the facts, weighing Mulder’s marked improvement against all that she knows about Diana.
Diana meets her gaze, the syringe ready. “I care for him too, Dana.” Her voice is quiet, earnest enough to be believable.
Scully swipes her palm across Mulder’s forehead and realizes that the apartment has gone quiet for the first time in an hour. She presses her fingers to the pulse point at his neck, noting that his breathing has started to even out and his heartrate has returned to normal.
“Some improvement,” she notes quietly, mostly to herself.
Diana nods tensely. Scully glances up, eyeing the next dose warily. “So long as you decide to stick around,” Diana says, “he’s going to need this.”
“Explain to me what his condition has to do with my presence,” Scully demands. “If you expect me to take you at your word and abandon Mulder during a medical emergency without any rational explanation, you’re not as clever as I’ve been told you are.”
Diana’s eyes narrow. Without fanfare, she pushes the syringe into Mulder’s hip and Scully sucks in her cheeks, praying that Diana has made the right call.
After a few tense moments, though, it is clear that Mulder really is improving. His skin starts to take on a normal color and the blood dripping from his eyes and nose dries up. When his eyes start to open, Scully can see that his pupils are normal and reactive. His body seems to relax into the floor, no longer wound tight in pain. Without thinking, she reaches out and pushes a few strands of hair off his forehead, then runs her fingers down his sweaty jaw.
His eyes open fully and hold her gaze, but she can’t read his expression. She pulls her hand away and his eyes move to Diana.
“Never thought I’d thank someone for two pokes in the ass,” he croaks quietly, and though the joke isn’t directed at her, Scully is relieved to hear the return of his humor.
Diana flashes a watery smile, relief evident in her gaze, and leans down to press a kiss to his forehead. The possessiveness of the act turns Scully’s stomach. He’s mine, comes the unbidden thought, surprised at how terrible it feels to be the odd one out, the one who doesn’t know what’s going on and who wasn’t able to help him.
She uses the moment to step away for a glass of water, lingering at the sink as Diana helps Mulder sit up, leaning into him conspiratorially. They exchange words, too hushed for Scully to hear, and judging by the way Mulder’s expression sours, things get heated. Every few moments one of them glances her way, like witnesses coordinating a story.
To give her hands something to do, Scully sips at her water, trying to push past her emotions and let the investigator in her do the brutal work of uncovering the truth. She has her theories, of course, but none of them can account for every symptom she observed. The facts she knows are: Mulder was in Maryland and encountered a man named Daniel Parsons. He hailed a cab to return to his apartment, where he immediately exhibited symptoms of acute distress. He refused a hospital several times. He could barely stand to be in her presence, claiming that she made his suffering worse. An unknown medicine almost immediately stopped his symptoms.
None of it makes sense.
She takes a breath, knowing there’s at least one more hard, painful truth she’s managed to uncover.
Mulder begged her to leave him and asked for Diana instead.
It’s becoming clearer to her now that the two of them likely aren’t just sleeping together; they’re becoming partners in every sense of the word, and partners against her.
The pain of that cuts through her like a knife and she digs her nails into her palm, redirecting her grief. Mulder glances up at her, his profiler-sharp eyes pinging from her tight expression to the clench of her hand against the water glass. His color has returned, and only that brings her peace. But there’s still so much unexplained about his illness tonight, and despite his apparent growing connection with Diana, she isn’t going to lie back and pretend like he isn’t the single most important person in her life.
Taking a shaky breath, she sets down her glass and crosses the room.
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 9/9
Fandom: The X-Files
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Characters: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Holman Hardt, Sheila Fontaine
Additional Tags: MSR, Post-Episode: s06e08 The Rain King, Friends to Lovers, Tornados, Slow Burn
There was a storm in her chest, thunder behind her ribs.
Heartbeat. Heartbeat.
He must be close now, she was only moments from the bottom.
She had both hands out, seizing at tapering branches along the pathway, heedless of the sharp twigs whipping her palms and wrists. Her breath was coming shorter, the lump that had tightened her throat the moment she’d seen Mulder’s feet touch the ground now burning, painful.
Just a little way further, and then—
Hurtling his way up the path like a cannonball, Mulder rounded the corner just ahead of her. Seeing her, a light came into his eyes, lifting the haggardness that fear and panic had etched into his face.
“Scully—” was all he managed.
Then she was on him, her arms tight around him, her face pressed hard against his chest as hot tears sprung from her eyes.
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