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I last updated this fic in 2024, when I was pregnant with my son. I put everything but my family on pause over the past two years because when he was 4 months old, he got extremely sick and was hospitalized for a long time. We went through hell and back, but he’s fully recovered and is doing so well despite all that he went through.
I’ve recently been inspired to pick up writing again, and after nearly two years away, I’m not even sure that there’s still an appetite for this fic. Regardless, I’ve been feeling the urge to write again, and so here we are.
Anyways, please enjoy (or don't), and do remember, this is NOT ScullyxOther or MulderxDiana!! I always go for peak angst before resolving into lovey-dovey partners-for-life MSR.
Chapter 9, under the cut
As she feared, Mulder’s apartment is dark when Scully enters. She does a thorough inspection of each room, taking note with her investigator’s eye of any oddities that catch her notice. Because it’s Mulder’s apartment, however, there are plenty of strange things that stand out to her, none of which point her towards any obvious conclusion as to his whereabouts.
After this, she calls him again, and again receives his voicemail, which irritates her so badly she considers leaving. But then she sees his poor fish circling the top of their tank, hungry and abandoned, and feels a stirring of pity. Sprinkling a dash of food into the tank, she watches dejectedly as they fight over the crumbs.
A call to the Lone Gunmen proves fruitless, as none of the men have heard from Mulder in weeks. Frohike offers to join her in keeping vigil over Mulder’s apartment, but she politely declines. After hanging up, she thumbs the phone for a few seconds, wondering whether she ought to call Diana for an update. But when she dials the other woman’s number, there is no answer.
And so she waits, collapsing onto Mulder’s familiar leather couch and listlessly flipping through his T.V. channels. After an hour, she digs out a stale sleeve of crackers from his pantry and attempts to eat, but she has no appetite and ends up tossing them in the trash. Another hour sees her pacing the length of his apartment, redialing his cell number every few minutes. When midnight strikes, she settles back onto the couch, jacket and shoes discarded, and eventually falls asleep to the drone of a documentary on the history channel.
**
Scully jolts awake in the darkness, her skin crawling with the certainty that someone is watching her. She’s reaching for her weapon when she spies the door, which is open, spilling hallway light across the floor. A stranger’s silhouette looms in the doorway, straining under the weight of a second person. She turns her gun on the intruder, who yelps.
“Sorry, sorry! I’m just a driver.” The cabbie’s voice is high and quick. “He—he paid me to bring him up, wouldn’t let me call anybody! Please don’t shoot me!”
Mulder. She’d know him before she knew anything else on this earth. His arm is hooked over the cabbie’s neck and his head rises unsteadily to find her eyes. He tries taking a step forward, tugging the driver with him, and Scully lunges forward, gripping his coat right as his knees buckle. Grunting, she struggles to lower him to the floor as the cabbie backs slowly towards the door.
“I swear I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” he says apologetically, raising his hands in surrender, his eyes trained anxiously on her weapon.
“Where did you pick him up?” Scully demands, even as her fingers search for Mulder’s pulse point. “Thready,” she mutters to herself.
“I got him in Maryland, ma’am, I swear I don’t know anything more!”
“Did he say anything to you on the ride here? Was he with anyone?” She moves her hand to Mulder’s eyelids, which have drooped shut, and checks his pupils.
“Nothing, ma’am, nothing but this address. And no one with him.”
Before she can ask anything else, he retreats fully into the hallway and the door clicks shut behind him.
“Dammit, Mulder,” Scully curses, surveying her partner.
His eyes open slightly, flitting uneasily between hers, before he pulls his legs into his chest as if he’s in pain. Her hand moves to his forehead, feeling for fever. Finding none, she continues her examination, confusion rising when nothing flags as physiologically alarming.
Sitting back on her heels, she studies him, curled in on himself, radiating misery. Instinctively, she reaches for his hand, noticing that his fingers are trembling.
“What happened?” she asks, squeezing his hand. When he doesn’t reply, she frowns. “Can you talk? If you can talk, Mulder, you need to tell me where you’re hurt.”
Mulder’s eyes are still doing their uneasy dance, and she levels him with a serious look. “Can you sit up?”
He nods unevenly and she watches him warily as he strains to pull himself to sitting, draping his arms across his bent knees and tipping his forehead into his hands.
“My god,” he whispers with uncharacteristic anguish, and she ducks her head closer to him.
“Are you hurt?” she repeats more urgently, a hand settling on his knee.
With great effort, he turns his head towards her and grimaces. “It feels . . . my chest,” he moans. “So much pain.”
Alarmed, Scully forces Mulder’s eyes up with a firm hand to his chin, and a full body shudder ripples through him. Sweat breaks out on his forehead.
“Mulder?” she asks, her palm pressing against his chest. His heart beats erratically and he shoves her hand off him.
“Mulder, you have to tell me where you’re hurt,” she demands, leaning closer. “If you’re injured, we need to get you to a hospital immediately—”
“Nowhere, no hospital,” he grits out, even as his head tips to his chest and his body folds into a protective ball. “My heart.”
Automatically, she reaches for her phone to call an ambulance but seeing her movement, Mulder shakes his head furiously.
His eyes meet hers and there’s so much pain in them that she drops her mobile phone, which skitters across the room. Her heart lurches in her chest and Mulder flinches violently, his face draining of color. Scully grabs for his wrist to feel for his pulse again, cursing when it flutters rapidly against her fingertips.
“I need you to tell me what happened to you,” she commands as calmly as possible, even as her own heartrate picks up. Almost as if in response, Mulder’s pulse ratchets up.
He shakes his head futilely, moaning incoherently.
She bites her lip, weighing her options. Giving Mulder one last look, she rises to standing and grabs his landline, punching 9-1-1. Just as she’s about to put the call through, Mulder raises his head.
“Not the ambulance,” he croaks in what can only be called agony. “I need Diana.”
Outrage, hot and slick, sluices down her spine at the suggestion, but her fury cools the moment Mulder falls to the hardwood with a roar of anguish.
“Mulder!” she gasps, falling to her knees and grabbing his arms.
“Stop it, stop it,” he protests weakly. “Stop being scared,” he gasps, his eyebrows creasing in desperation. “Call Diana! Please! Please.” The last word comes out feebly, as if he’s used all his remaining energy.
His eyes meet hers with a fervor she only knows to trust. Swallowing tightly against her own reservations, she nods. She doesn’t know that she’s ever seen Mulder in this much pain and if he thinks Diana is what he needs, then she’ll get him Diana, despite her own misgivings.
Fumbling in his coat pocket, she pulls out his mobile phone, hopeful that Diana will be responsive if the call comes directly from his cell.
She’s right. Agent Fowley answers on the second ring.
“Fox?” the other woman asks breathlessly.
“It’s me,” Scully interjects, hopefully shattering Diana’s illusions of a frisky reunion with Mulder. “It’s Scully. A cab driver just returned Agent Mulder to his apartment. I’m here with him and he’s asked me to call you.”
“What does he need?”
“Something’s very wrong. He’s afebrile but his pulse is erratic, and he seems as if he’s in an enormous amount of pain.” Scully pauses, glancing at Mulder, who’s rubbing his face with his hands. “His condition suggests to me a possible cardiac event, or some sort of psychotic episode. I’ve also considered the possibility that he’s encountered or ingested a—a substance of some sort. I’d like to get him to a hospital for a tox screen and an EKG. I’ve—I’ve never seen this before—”
Diana’s voice cuts sharply through Scully’s words. “Ask him if he contacted Daniel Parsons.”
Who? she thinks, wracking her brain for that name and coming up empty. Although the request confuses her, Scully relays it to Mulder, who shuts his eyes tightly before nodding once.
“He said yes.”
“Dammit,” Diana mutters with such vitriol that Scully briefly moves the phone from her ear. She hears the noise of car keys clanging against a countertop. “Ask him if the pain is worse with you in the room.”
“Ask him what?” Scully asks incredulously.
“Just ask him, Agent Scully.”
Scully glances over at Mulder, considering this possibility. He squints at her through distressed eyes and suddenly, despite everything he’s put her through over the past few weeks, she has an intense longing to go to him and hold him, comfort him.
As she watches him, Mulder’s face briefly seems to relax, his hands uncurling from fists and limbs loosening. His eyes fall closed and Scully kneels beside him to study the sudden change in his demeanor. Although she can’t conjure any known medical condition that would connect his behavior to her proximity, she considers Diana’s words.
Does Mulder truly seem affected by her closeness? For a moment, Scully considers whether Diana is simply trying to stir up trouble by digging into an open wound, exploiting the obvious tension that’s emerged between her and Mulder.
Mulder moans beside her, bringing her back to the present. The open pain on his face reinvigorates her, and she reminds herself that she isn’t a pawn in Diana’s game, but a trained investigator and she’ll approach this problem as such. She shakes her head, ridding herself of any ridiculous notions that her presence alone could be causing him pain. As a medical doctor, she must trust herself and her judgment when it comes to Mulder’s health and safety. If she can put her faith in anything, it’s hard evidence.
And Mulder.
“Mulder,” she says gently but insistently, carding a hand through his hair, which is soaked with sweat. “Agent Fowley wants to know if your pain is worse around me.” She hesitates briefly, her words catching on the absurd suggestion. “Am I causing you pain?”
Mulder’s eyes open, his body going rigid again. His jaw works, and she watches him try to form an answer. He turns pleading eyes up at her, an apology written in his expression. Her stomach drops as she realizes what’s coming. Mulder winces, as if struck.
Vancouver, BC; Laurentian Mtns, QC; Gaithersburg, MD; Washington, DC; Ft. Marlene, MD; Centerville, VA
THE END
An international incident launches an investigation that reveals the talents of a twelve-year-old chess prodigy. Will he be the answer to everything in the X-Files? Or will he be the end to it all?
The End is the final episode in Season 5, the last episode to be filmed in Vancouver (until the Revival Seasons), and the last to be directed by Robert Goodwin. Up through now, Goodwin has directed every finale, in addition to the premiere episodes for seasons 3 - 5. Fittingly, the name of the episode and the tagline are a send-off for the Vancouver cast and crew.
The opening chessmatch was filmed in an arena where locals were invited to fill the stands. The turnout over-exceeded expectations. They not only filled the 17,500 seats but had to turn away more than 5,000 people. In between takes the crowd were entertained by some Q&A with DD and GA and equipment was raffled off.
Ironically, this is the first time a scene has been set in Vancouver, and it unfortunately contains a glaring error. If this incident were to occur on Canadian soil, they would be conducting the investigation on their side of the border. The shooter wouldn't have been at Ft. Marlene. I don't mind giving them their scene, but honestly, CC, after crossing the border all this time, it's a little 51st state of you to take liberties, don't you think?
The End also introduces Special Agent Diana Fowley and young Gibson Praise to the X-Files realm. Fowley, portrayed by Mimi Rogers, previously appeared in the movie The Rapture (1991) with DD. Coincidentally, that's the same year their characters began 'working together' for the FBI.
Mulder is a jerk in this episode. It's true. So much of the bad that happens could be negated if Mulder is just not an ass. Skinner starts it off, though. Telling the FBI's most unwanted where, specifically, he's most unwanted. He bursts in on Spender's big meeting and is all, "I don't have any questions, I just think you're wrong." (after being in the room for, like .02 seconds.)
When it comes to interviewing the shooter, he hints at offers that he has no authority to make (then takes some of that food and drink from the man who has been deprived and treating Spender like an errand boy). Then he thinks he sees Spender talking to CSM and gets fired up, but doesn't listen to anything he says. (Has he ever listened to anything Spender has said?)
He makes the decision to gamble 'it all' on the shooter's testimony, the sum total of which so far has been nothing. (After the decision is made, the shooter comes out with, "The kid is the missing link.") I give partial blame to Skinner here. The consequences of this decision apply to both partners. Scully should be in the room for this convo at a minimum. She probably will want to hear the shooter's testimony as well, considering the risk. Instead, word gets out, the shooter is killed, and it all goes to shit. So, Mulder assaults Spender in the hallway of FBI headquarters.
The focus of this episode, though, is Scully. And it's all based on the fact that there are things about Diana Fowley that Mulder is keeping from her and has been for the entire time she's known him. The fact that he behaves differently when Diana is around with zero explanation. I think when Scully tries to talk to Diana about their history, both women are surprised that Mulder hasn't already told her these things (at least about the work side).
So Scully goes to her only other reliable source, the Gunmen. (They're adorable in their bedtime routines.) I think they are also surprised Scully doesn't already know anything about Diana. Obviously, they tell her.
In the script (during this scene): "That she's threatened by Diana makes her angry at herself, but she's trying her best not to show it."
And as she's leaving: "Her jaw set and determined. Processing her emotions right into work mode." (This is the most Scully line in existence.)
Scully goes back to the psych hospital with the absolute worst timing. (To his credit, Mulder is not receptive to Diana and is defending Scully during this scene. It is an innocent moment. But Scully's already shaken.) When she gets back to her car: "She's a confusion of emotions, both personal and professional. She sits pained for a moment, trying to calm herself. Trying to be mature about what she's understandably experiencing."
Nevertheless, she calls Mulder and leaves: "Feeling a little ridiculous, and dishonest."
GA does a spectacular job with these moments. As usual, her expressions convey so much without the need for dialogue.
This is a CC script, penned with an interest in creating tension leading up to the events of the summer blockbuster. It seems like an opportune time to introduce Diana, someone who makes Scully doubt her role (both personal and professional) in Mulder's life, especially once the X-Files are taken from them. CC can say what he will about the MSR. Just remember, he's the one writing it.
MSR: I love the long camera pan around Scully when she's on the phone with Skinner in Mulder's apartment. They are cloistered together, waiting to learn their fate. So they arrive together in the aftermath of the fire. Both shell-shocked, back where it all began. Mulder is standing there in utter defeat. Scully, "Putting her arms around him, holding on to keep him from breaking."
Fanfic: I struggled with this one because my Scully-angst is so high, and I hold Mulder responsible for it.
"Flames" by donnah - avoids the angst, addresses the fire
"Insomnia" by greekowl87 - Scully owns and stands in her angst
"A Simple Office Accessory" by ScullytoyourMulder - Scully does some digging
"Quantifiable" by Spooky66 - an AU, Scully reacts differently at the psych hospital
The best fic I read, though, is longer than my usual recs, but is still only 3 chapters. The premise is exactly what I needed.
"Unobserved" by cecily_sass - just read it
Bid a fond farewell to Vancouver. We're off to the bright lights of Hollywood with Fight the Future. Before I wrap up S5, though, I'll get a recap posted. I also have a bit of housekeeping I'd like to take care of before I dive into more fic. Because there is A LOT of FTF fic (and you know I can't be normal about how much of it I read). If you have recs, please let me know!! I know there are gems out there, and I want to read them all. Thanks again to all of you for reading!
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I'm watching The X-Files for the first time and holy shit. Holy shit, guys. I was of course aware that Scully/Mulder are one of THE ships of all time, but nothing could have prepared me for the insane levels of shippable tension between these two. Scully is out here barging into Mulder's hotel room - which is a LOADED location - to drop her robe so he can reassure her that she hasn't been abducted by aliens, she's just a mosquito magnet. Then she's defending him from bureaucratic bullies one moment and saving his life at gunpoint the next. Meanwhile, Mulder has the most wet, pathetic puppy-dog eyes for her at ALL times, truly whipped, casually fixing her necklace while talking about how she appreciates the "journey" they go on, immediately after she calls him out for being territorial around another guy. He's losing his mind when she's in danger. He's casually dropping the most insane compliments I've ever heard. He's known her, like, a month.
I thought I was prepared for them. I'm on episode three. I'm being fucking humbled for my shipping hubris.
Share the first sentence from your last 10 fics and then tag some buddies to do the same.
I was tagged by @bakedbakermom - thank you!!
When She Wakes Up
He was overcome with terror, the kind that claws at your throat and sends waves of nausea through your torso, forcing you to look at the world through a haze of confusion.
2. Brave Like Her
I don’t want this. I definitely don’t need this, I’m blown away by my own inability to follow the goddamn rules.
3. A Poppy Seed
Dana stared longingly out of the window as the world flashed her by in a cruel blur, opportunities for escape dwindling with each mile she travelled, alone.
4. No Longer A Stranger
If looks could kill, they’d all be dead.
5. My Stranger In The Night
The muffled buzzing of his phone was driving her insane and so she flipped back on the couch to grab it, without thinking, slamming her book face-down.
6. Everyone has fantasies, Mulder.
I lay sprawled across his chest, breathing in the scent of him and our sex.
7. Believe Me
She had known when she saw his hand skirt along the edge of the rock that he was making a huge mistake.
8. Good Girl
‘Well, I must say, Agent Scully, I’m impressed, good girl.’
9. The Girlfriend Experience
‘Scully, I have a huge, pathetic, embarrassing favour to ask you,’ Mulder finally breathed out, nervously peeling the label on his beer bottle, as she turned to look at the side of his face.
10. Night, Mulder
This had been their weekend routine for many months now, and neither of them could fully explain why they needed it so badly.
I tag everyone who sees this and would like to participate! This is so fun <33
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And Death Shall Have No Dominion by Jean Helms is having a moment on here, @thexfileswithoutcontext, @deathsbestgirl and @fringephile have all posted/asked about it and I absolutely love that this classic fic has stuck in so many people's brains. It's so good and is such a good reminder of how lucky we are to have literal decades worth of brilliant fic writing in this fandom. I'd love to know what other fics have lodged in people's brains in the same way!
Silent Sundays: Periodical Ruminations on Silent Film Directors
"Named the best episode of The X-Files by Vulture in 2016, season three, episode four aka 'Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose' is not only a great episode of television, it’s also a silent film comedy primer."
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Short drabble based on a challenge for Mulder to find Scully kissing an unauthordox place on his body hot.
Scully tells him it’s called the antecubital fossa, but he still thinks of it as his elbow crook. It’s the place that hospitals have stabbed him to draw blood and poked at while inserting their cannulas. It’s an innocuous part of his body that he can completely forget about until her soft lips brushes over it.
It started so early on in their partnership; he’d been complaining about an inexperienced phlebotomist taking too many tries to get blood for his physical. Rolling his sleeve up to show her his battle scars and bruises the gentle touch of Scully’s lips on that sensitive area set his whole body on fire as she laughed and made a joke about ‘kissing him better.’
That was decades ago, but now, lying in bed her lips manage to find that exact spot in the crook of his elbow as she lays in his arms. Scully's sweet kiss triggers a Pavlovian response within Mulder, and although he delights when her lips touch any part of his body, this spot always takes his breath away.
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