can u even sauté

Correct.

yesterday i had a nice southern teenager call me "ma'am" and then look at me and go, in a well-meaning tone, "uhhhh, if you go by ma'am. sorry if not." and i had to be like yeah man ma'am is fine. appreciate you being inclusive though. i could almost see the little warning pop up in his UI-- hold up! people with blue hair often have pronouns. are you sure you want to address this individual with a gendered term?

being an adult is just saying to yourself “this is the weekend i’ll clean my [x]” and then proceeding to not do that because it’s the weekend and you deserve to relax, goddamnit

why does this have 85K notes

because we reblogged it instead of cleaning our [x]

*Holding out my hand in a peace sign* You can't spell execute without cute! *In my other hand drags a long gnarled blade scraping loudly against the stone*

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

Baseball is like so the pitcher is like a nervous horse and the catcher like the patient trainer going shh shh shh just look at me focus on me

a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.