no dont have a mental breakdown youre so sexy ah

hate it when you see something in media that has great kink potential so you skedoodle post-haste to ao3 only to discover there's none fic left beef and then you have to sit there going oh I see I'M the pervert weirdo I'M the problem with society and everyone else in the world is going to heaven with a hundred innocence dollars preloaded onto their ole fashioned wholesome funtimes themepark fast pass card like fuckin oath man

feminist retelling shoulsnt be the woman does some girlboss shit femist retelling is she does the same stuff except u actually give a shit abt her perspective and thoughts and feelings as a human being this time

gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

Sometimes a guy in a fanfiction has the ability to read someone's gaze with the same level of detail a wine taster can taste the wine

"He glared at him with anger in his eyes, but behind that longing and sorrow over things left unsaid, a subtle but desperate yearning for things to be different, and with just a hint of roasted nuts right at the end."

we've all heard about the male gaze in media, but we've yet to explore the equally important sommelier gaze

the only fun addition to this post

I love how Zohran Mamdani is wearing a suit everywhere. And if he has anything else he puts it ON TOP of the suit. A basketball jersey. A high-vis vest. All worn over the suit. He’s like the mayor character in a cartoon who’s always dressed as The Mayor. If I didn’t know who he was and he biked past me in NYC I’d be like holy shit was that the mayor

@dualclock joypost for you

The idea of two people having sex and it creating another, smaller person who has a combination of their traits sounds like it was made up for fan fiction but alas I've heard tale that it's really happened

one of the many reasons to insist upon chronological timelines is that it's much, much harder to scroll forever if you can catch up with yourself. if you can run out of tumblr because you reach yesterday, that is a good and helpful prompt to do something else.

close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see

Sam trying to get Frodo to take one more step

Sam psychologically tormenting Gollum

Sam knows how to multitask

Schism? Schism today?

Wow, I didn't have "catholic schism" on my 2026 bingo card

I... Didn't realize that when there is a schism they actually issue a legal document that says "hey guys, there's a schism." Absolutely incredible