bumpos palace of tricks

A long time ago, in the Age of Physical, software would be stored on beautiful mirrored discs, and inside each disc a tiny wizard lived who would install the software for you.

I really do wish meeting new people when you're autistic didn't result in the person viewing you as secretly evil for at least a month before realizing you just act slightly different than others without ulterior motive. I get that people meet a lot of assholes in life but omg. I didn't do anything

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

canaries were used in coalmines due to their incredibly hard beaks, they could break through stone as well as any pickaxe

the thing is that when you decide to watch lars and the real girl all you're gonna know ahead of time is that it's a ryan gosling movie from 2007 about a grown man who orders a sex doll online and treats the doll like it's his real girlfriend. and naturally you'll go "what a strange premise for a romcom! surely this movie will primarily be making jokes at the expense of Guy Who Pretends His Doll Is Real." and then 1.5 hours later you'll be sobbing at your stupid kitchen table about family and community and positive representations of mental illness. and youll go what the fuck just happened to me

very disappointing when someone says "the bird app" and for one lovely moment I think they are talking about Merlin Bird ID by Cornell Lab, the free app that allows you to identify birds by appearance or sound, make a list of birds you have seen, and explore all the birds native to your region.... and then I realize they are talking about twitter.

tomodachi life giving you so many oppertunities for custom images and text with no filters means the obvious answer is of course to fill it with sex and penis. which is why i appreciate that every tomodachi life post ive seen is actually pretty lacking in sex and penis. instead we've been giving our miis enough cigarettes to kill a small village.

“what radicalized you” bro EMPATHY

"what radicalized you" well in kindergarten they told me to share things and be nice to people.

being a horror fan will have you saying sentences such as “i liked it a lot, super gross and sad”