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@theimpossibleness
If I like the post after I reblog it doesn't mean anything I promise

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Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/2609/
theres ALWAYS a relevant XKCD for everything huh
reminds me of how artists flip the canvas to make sure their art looks good
Just flip the genders real quick and check if you accidentally made a cult
Murderbot, staring directly at a wall and monitoring the body language of people it’s talking to via security camera feeds: Avoiding eye contact is for chumps. I can be cripplingly shy in ways you’re physiologically incapable of.
Can’t wait until there’s e nough free SecUnits running around for a good sample size so the PreservationAux team can go from “SecUnits are a bit weird from a human perspective” to “it’s specifically our SecUnit who’s a bit weird as an individual”.
“Yeah it turns out that free secunits are not, in fact, just Like That and Murderbot is some kinda freak.”
“Honestly, the name should have been a bit of a giveaway.”
To be fair, the number of normal SecUnits out there hacking their own governor modules when they’re bored has got to be extremely low or their producers would have noticed. So the SecUnit who does it isn’t gonna be normal.
It’s the difference between working border collie smart and intensely neurotic parrot on their seventh home smart.
i'm rereading the murderbot diaries and murderbot's utter conviction that it and gurathin are bitter enemies is still so funny. buddy. gurathin got over this months ago. he's just a quiet guy.
one-sided antagonism is so delicious. murderbot diaries i also very much enjoy how surreal it must be for gurathin / to know that the heavily armed rogue secunit holds a grudge against him / and also know that all it will ever choose to do about this is make frowny faces and flip him the bird. / (tags via space-mouse)
Gurathin in book 1: This rogue SecUnit is TERRIFYING and ANGRY and could kill us at any moment
Gurathin in future books: Oh. Oh, it’s a grumpy kitten. Okay.

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Murderbot in Network Effect is so funny. It’s like “my friend is dead this is the WORST and LIFE IS PAIN” and then rescues ART and immediately pivots to “I can’t BELIEVE you kidnapped me and dragged me out here just to save your useless fucking life, I hate you.”
Network Effect packed a lot of punches into one book, honestly.
First, my friend is dead, then my friend is alive, then it turns out it kidnapped me, and then finally, it was ready to bomb a planet to get me back. And now I want to keep working with it.
It’s a lot.
Don’t forget the part where they temporarily have a baby together.
Amena telling MB its plan is to make a baby with ART cracked me up so hard.
Murderbot: so here’s my plan ART & I make a copy of me & edit its code a bit…
Amena: like having a baby…?
Murderbot: wtf? no??? it’s just a copy of me!
I love later when both ART and MB have separate conversations with MB2.0 and both come out like “I’m feeling pretty bad about this plan now actually” and 2.0 is just like “should’ve thought of that before you created me, let’s go kill.”
this is from a "manipulation advice" video and it's just so fucking funny to me. why didn't I think of responding to insults like this
I can’t remember where I got the information now, but apparently if you stare silently for at least 4 seconds it triggers a feeling of rejection which I don’t have to tell you is uncomfortable and makes most people backpedal pretty quickly and awkwardly.
Immediately going concerned/extremely polite always throws people off their game, it's beautiful.
The Quiet Stare Of Disappointment is also super effective, indeed .
My sister and I were walking across a car park.
Random bloke: Maybe if you walked more you wouldn’t be so fat
My sister stops dead, stares him in the eye and goes: Is everything alright at home?
I’ve never seen a man’s face turn to horror so fast
We just walked to her car and drove off
The silent stare is so effective. I learned about it in social psychology in undergrad, and have often used it to great effect. Probably the best example is when I went to sign the papers on the car I was buying—I had already worked out a price and my trade-in with the salesmen the day before—and they decided they were going to take $1000 off the value of my trade-in. (I want to emphasize that I was buying a 10+ year old car; I ended up paying $8k total.)
"No," I said. "That doesn't work for me. If you're unwilling to honor the deal we made, I'm not buying a car from you."
Well, they talk for a living. So they talked. Here I am, a young woman on my own, and these two men at the dealership are giving me all the reasons they couldn't possibly honor the deal we made yesterday.
So I sat. I didn't say a word. I just stared at them.
They kept talking, trying to get a reaction out of me. After about 10 seconds, they abandoned all pretense of logical arguments and started hammering pathos. They weren't even buying my old car from me for the dealership; it was a personal favor for which they were using their own hard-earned money to help this poor guy at church who just got out of rehab and his house burned down and his children exploded and his dog left him for another man, etc etc
I didn't say a word. I just stared at them.
They began falling apart. They continued trying to hustle me, but their confidence left them. I think they might have been sweating.
Within five minutes they caved and signed the papers for our original deal.
I have been told for years I am intimidating, and by people who had never even seen me angry. Just in general, intimidating. This absolutely baffled me until a friend one day pointed at me and said — “This! Right now! You’re being intimidating!”
Friends, I was staring silently at someone while inwardly flailing desperately to come up with a response to something they’d said that wasn’t overly rude but also was holding my ground. In my mind, I was being hellishly awkward. I couldn’t summon any charm, I couldn’t figure out a sentence to string together. Silence spooled out horrifyingly between us as I got farther and farther away from being articulate and became more and more flustered by this failure to respond. From the outside, I guess, I just looked like a stone cold bitch waiting for them to get their shit together, lol.
I still don’t think I’m intimidating but you know I’ll take it.
Finnglas are you Murderbot
You know, on my second read through I'm starting to think - and I mean this with all the love in my heart - that Murderbot might be a little bit of a dumbass
Head empty no thoughts just Sanctuary Moon
In its defense, it does mention at some point that SecUnits aren't given much in the way of education beyond what is needed to be a murderbot, and I doubt that education includes things like what an anagram is.
That is absolutely true, and that's a detail that I love! Because it isn't Murderbot's fault that the company gave it inadequate information, and its very clear that they did not prioritize their SecUnits education (or safety or personhood or a lot of things really) Despite that, Murderbot really is incredibly resourceful, creative, and intelligent, despite what it insists to the contrary. It went "Oh god a combatbot we're all going to die!" and then 3 seconds later it was dead due to Murderbot's expert analysis and planning, and we see it do that a lot!
But then we have these other instances, where it misses a few things, but the thing is, it's doing it on purpose. If we look, we find that in several instances - the anagram one, for instance - the initial realization with PSELR that it doesn't remember the right word and can only think of anagram happens way before it casually calls ART's name an anagram. There is a significant passage of time. And in the instance of the forensic sweep - which I didn't include in my post but it was already really long - there's a quote where it comes up a second time (after a significant delay) and Murderbot goes 'ah, so they do work that way!' indicating it, again, didn't bother looking real ones up. As we know, Murderbot has constant feed access that it cheerfully abuses at every waking moment. it oftentimes gathers analyzes, and utilizes, and even repackages vital information in seconds, when it would have taken a human hours (or longer) to do the exact same thing! Because Murderbot really is intelligent, and frankly, has a lot of processing power.
Even though there was a lot going on in both books, Murderbot did have more than enough time to download a dictionary (especially with it's processing power, and I honestly bet Perihelion has one on board, let's be real), but look at what it says! It says "whatever", and it means it. It knows it can be vague and incorrect (it feels safe enough to get something wrong) and Ratthi and Amena will still be able to understand it. All of this to say, now that Murderbot isn't under the thumb of the company, it absolutely has access to all kinds of education modules that could cover all of this, including a basic dictionary that would be infinitely less complex to download and integrate into it's own systems for reference than a bunch of other things we've seen it do. We've seen it scan soap operas for the right response to emotional moments, a dictionary would be nothing. But it doesn't do that! It shoves aside the education modules and snatches every single soap opera it can get it's data-equivalent-of-hands-on. Education modules? Murderbot says. I don't have room for that, this new serial has 68 seasons and they're still making more. I hope this doesn't come off as ranting at you (you're definitely not the only one rightfully pointing out that it's education modules were shit), I'm actually just buzzing with energy thinking about Murderbot, and you're right that it was deprived of a lot of opportunities. But I love the details that go into it not knowing everything, because it says a lot about Murderbot's personality, and its newfound freedom of choice, and it also demonstrates intelligence versus wisdom. Murderbot is very intelligent, but not always wise, and it has the freedom to exercise that lack of wisdom (that dumbassery, if you will) just like any other being with free will does! Just like I do! Would my life be a lot easier if I stopped and figured out who was holding my student loans? Probably! Am I, instead, reading the Silmarillion? Yes! Yes I am. I'm a dumbass, and so I look at Murderbot and I see a fellow dumbass, and it makes me really happy. Murderbot can choose what it wants to learn now, and what it wants to learn is every single plotline on Days of Our Lives
Martha Wells was a fucking genius for designing a character that would let her avoid looking up words when she didn't feel like it
I love the idea of Murderbot setting up its little security consulting business and advertising is like "Hey want some real security? Hire a rogue SecUnit. What's my rate? Unmarked bills. How much? I dunno, haven't thought that far. Gimme gimme, I wanna patrol your compound and rescue you from danger."
Sitting by the road in a wet cardboard box labelled Let Me Exhibit My Natural Behaviours
Love that Murderbot canonically learned to hack from the Corporation Rim equivalent of Bill Nye the Science Guy.
I like to imagine it learned from stuff like Hackers and misunderstood it as edutainment because, since MB has basic access codes to a lot of the stuff it hacks and can make friends with and trade media with the rest, the shitty fake hacking actually works so MB assumes that's how it's supposed to be done.
*MB accidentally bypassing the main security with its access codes and mathing its way through the basic Idiot Block* "Yeah this is how penetrating a security system works for everyone. You do some very basic cool math and you're in. I saw it in Movies."
MB is like
#I like to think the shows were more like lockpicking lawyer and MB has most of the keys already#the thing is a walking talking singlesided jiggler

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if you're washed chopped and cooked then you might be vegetables
oh my god it hurts
and it's going to hurt forever
every now and then I see people passing screencaps of these posts around, and in the months after I made this post there were people checking in on me assuming I was going through grief or depression or something
to set the record straight, the context is that I had covid and was bleeding from my throat and lungs, but for some ungodly reason, I was feverishly driven to drink lemonade and kept screaming and writhing because I was pouring fizzy lemon juice on open throat wounds
why do US patriots think they own "red white and blue" there's a lotta red white and blue flags out there. "i stand for the red white and blue" yass me too let's go costa rica 🇨🇷🇨🇷🇨🇷🇨🇷 let's go laos 🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦🇱🇦 fuck it up liberia 🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷 nepal get triangular with it 🇳🇵🇳🇵🇳🇵

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It's literally crazy luck that I've only ever come across nails ever since I got my hands on my awesome hammer
DRAMAS in 2026: 05 | Romantics Anonymous 匿名の恋人たち (2025) — dir. Tsukikawa Sho