search and destroy.

VD. an incredibly tiny black and white puppy grabs the dangling lead line of a brown horse. she then pulls on the lead line, and the horse willingly walks with her as she runs over to her owner, who while laughing says in a strong irish accent, "well done, good girl." End VD.

What if water didn't have surface tension and whenever you spilled some, the whole floor of your entire apartment was covered in a 2 micrometer deep puddle

you've taught me to count blessings I didn't know were mine

i love finding out what degrees my mutuals have. like what the fuck do you mean you do law? you’re a doctor who blog

My boss’s first language isn’t English. However, she loves giving inspirational speeches to everyone. I think today she was trying to tell us “don’t just stand around looking pretty”, but what she actually said was “WE DONT HAVE TIME TO BE SEXY”.

Official ominous billboard

Majoring in creative writing was a colossal mistake that ruined my life financially artistically socially and spiritually BUT i got to read aloud from My Immortal to a crowd of twenty horrified bystanders for academic credit. So I broke even

The assignment was to bring a story written by someone else and share the first paragraph with the class. Nowhere in the assignment description or the syllabus did it specify that the story had to be good

Foul beast ate that adventurer whole, RIP