chaos mode

the weed dispensaries should ask if you would like to round up your purchase to donate to PBS. and if you say yes you get to scan a QR code that gives you 30-day free access to the full run of antiques roadshow. this is how drugs can win the war on drugs again.

i don’t think there’s anything funnier than saying “god forbid women do anything” in response to women doing the most objectively horrifying actions possible.

gerard sweetie i need you to slip in a few "hail satan"s and maybe speak in tongues okay? i need those ticket prices to go down, in fact i need them to be free for satanists. together we can make it so that people are scared of emos again

The children of Texas did nothing to you, Robert.

Robert, stop this crazy Oliver Stone revenge thing.

Reblog if you want to flatten Christian values with the gayroller 2000

Destiel who art in turbo hell- save us from that same fate

reblog to come sit with me in the blanket fort while we wait for the election results. it'll be okay. you can stop doomscrolling and refreshing the live map now. everything is okay in the blanket fort.

life becomes so beautiful when you start cooking rice in liquids other than water

put that basmati rice in the cooker with coconut cream and chicken stock and an entire onion that you've diced and sauteed with garlic until transparent. and some salt and pepper. Trust me

"Uncle Benadryl's one minute rice" one minute what? awake? left to live?

New Tumblr is now such that I cannot just go to the post with the recipe but must reblog the gatorade and uncle benadryl if I ever hope to make rice with coconut cream.

This is NOT a new type of guy, I know like a dozen people like this, I've made out with them