okay so basically the story went that he has. a fetish for guys with tats and piercings and this culminated in him getting real teeth KNOCKED OUT during a glory hole incident in 98 or 99 he canāt remember but basically the guy thrust in as he was catching his breath. and. teeth got knocked out. he was THAT HARD.Ā
so he gets dental implants and continues on his way, assured that heāll never have to lose any more teeth. he used to bartend blah blah and was always complimented on his teeth but he eventually got them SNAPPED OUT during an altercation with a drunk guy and he got different ones put in and was likeĀ āoh, so this is a recurring theme in my lifeā and decided that he was going to swear off bartending.
so he moved out this way and started hisĀ ādick-sucking careerā anew, hopeful, wide-eyed. and managed to get a piercing snagged on his fucking tonsil and they have to GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM TOGETHER BECAUSE THE GUY IS STUCK IN HIS FUCKING THROAT AND HE CAN ONLY BREATHE IF HE BREATHES AROUND THE DICK. it was at this moment i remembered that one fucking movie where a guy gets his prince albert piercing stuck in a lady as a killer is busting into the room and dies because he wonāt cut it off and run or something
also as this is happening iām waiting on x-ray results so iām just. there lmao
and he was talking about how the guy NUTTED. IN THE AMBULANCE. BECAUSE OF THE VIBRATION OF THE ROAD. IN HIS THROAT. AND THEY HAD TO SUCTION IT OUT. WHAT THE FUCK. but it turns out that there was a bad cut to his gums as well because it was a spiked fucking piercing so he just. had to get a couple teeth replaced. again.
and they dated. for 2 more years. until he moved to serbia or something i forget that part i was laughing to hard. it might have been spain. idk anyways
the bf got stopped by airport security because this was a few years after 9/11 and he had to take half his piercings which were notĀ āsafe metalsā for metal detectors (ābecause DIY punks are hotterā was his reason??) and he was likeĀ ādo i take the dick one out tooā (no, but he did get taken to be privately searched.) and it ended up, that his boyfriend (the guy in the dental office) laughed so hard, after hearing this story repeated, that he slipped and smacked face first into the edge of a table. and LOST HIS TEETH AGAIN, and ended up walking aroundĀ ālike a fucking christmas carol about wanting two front teethā until his bf sent him money to get them fixed and then broke up with him āfor some hot young thingā
so he gets new ones! and they lasted! they really did! for years!
and then, #4, was on sunday. he was soĀ āinspiredā after he was allowed to go on dates again. because quarantine and no-socialising rules and shit have hit hard here multiple times. that heĀ āwent too hardā at a small gay bdsm gathering. and he managed to both bend his teeth inwards and fuck his molars up FROM DICK SUCKING. and he was likeĀ āi was tied up there, thinking about how many times this has happened. and how some evil gay witch put a curse on me for being too good at sucking dick.āĀ
and he went on about how the kink club in question is technically helping to pay for this because they felt SO BAD and the guy who did this laughed his ass off and was like. i donāt have any money but once you get your teeth fixed - and the guy was like NO. I AM NOT SUCKING YOU OFF EVER AGAIN LOOK WHAT YOU DID
also this was told by the most middle-aged, boring looking man on earth. like picture an accountant, but gay and VERY clumsy and funny
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