Holy Crow

they’re saying you’re finally going to become a real person like everyone else. they just announced it

they’re saying you’re finally going to become a real person like everyone else. they just announced it

they’re saying you’re finally going to become a real person like everyone else. they just announced it

reblog this if your blog is a safe space on april fools and won’t have any jumpers, screamers, or anything scary or anxiety inducing

I love horny men

Wait, that came out wrong…

Horned men! I meant horned men!

Young people don’t know when I joined this website a decade and a half ago we used to have to walk to the post button and back and it was uphill both ways

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

soy yooo tu ángel de la guarda holiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. 🥺 y si no te protejo, me van a: #¡despedir! 🫢 y eso No esta Chido 🙅‍♀️jajaaa Entonces. 🙏investigue acerca del tema y resulta que: ¡puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! 😯 ¡Uh oh! 😆 Hay más que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demás, ¡pero no puedes teneral! 🤨 ¿Queeeé? 🤷‍♀️ Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. 🙏 empeze a matar personas,

c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou 😇 bon 🙏 alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. 🥺 et si je te protège pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! 🫢 et ça c'est pas Pas Super 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Donc. 🙏 j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% évitable ! 😯 Oh-oh ! 😆 Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interférer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accès ! 🤨 Quoooi ? 🤷‍♀️ Apparemment ta mort a été préméditée par des milliers de trucs appelées des "actionnaires". Du coup.🙏 j'ai tué pas mal de monde,

hiiiiii 😇 我是亲的守护小天使！okay🙏 嗯。您在差不多半年会饿死哈🥺 若我不能救您我会被#炒鱿鱼！🫢 那可不行哦🙅‍♀️ 哈哈。所以昵🙏我查了一下人类饿死的原因，然后发现：诶呀呀😯亲的死是可以避免哒！😆 这世上有足够食物给亲吃，一点儿也不需要影响别人的生存率哒！但不给亲！🤨 怎么会这样昵？ 🤷‍♀️ 原来，亲的死是被一帮叫“股东”的东西计算好滴！ 所以昵🙏 我杀了一些人，

y'all are doing some rosetta stone shit to me

Fi ydy o, fi yw dy angel gwarcheidiol, hai 😇 iawn🙏 felly. ymhen tua chwe mis, rwyt ti'n mynd i farw o newyn. 🥺 ac os na fydda i'n dy amddiffyn di, bydda i'n cael: #diswyddo! 🫢 ac nid yw hynny'n Ddewis Da 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa Felly. 🙏 Edrychais i mewn i achosion newyn, ac mae'n ymddangos: Mae dy farwolaeth yn gwbl ataliadwy! 😯 O diar! 😆 Mae mwy na digon o fwyd i't cynnal heb ymyrryd â goroesiad unrhyw un arall, ond dwyt ti ddim yn cael ei gael! 🤨 Beth? 🤷‍♀️ Yn ôl pob golwg, mae dy farwolaeth wedi'i rhagfwriadol gan filoedd o bethau o'r enw "cyfranddalwyr." Felly. 🙏 Rydw i wedi bod yn lladd pobl,

As someone who can read both English and French, it’s interesting to see how the translation is done to conjure up the same energy while using different idioms

“never kill yourself” is such a funny phrase to me that i think it’s accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ‘never kill yourself’ enough times as a joke and maybe you won’t try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore

People do too many dragons that turn into conventionally attractive humans, literally just bang the dragon. They are already hot.

Um actually Dan and Phil wrote this