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anyone thought of harris doing a taskmaster-style video with the centaurs?
obviously the first task would be “most watermelon eaten in one minute wins” and ilya would smash that shit as soon as he gets his hands on it and ends the task dry heaving onto the floor because he basically inhaled it
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what if on Taskmaster one of the contestants died in the middle of filming a task but after doing enough of the task for it to be deemed complete so since there was nothing in the rules to say you had to be alive throughout they allowed it. & then all the other contestants bombed so badly that the dead person won the task and in the studio Greg was there like 'wow you all managed to do worse than Christine and she was dead for most of it'
They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help
After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly
And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?
Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose
Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.
It's that time again where I shout at you about all the amazing fics I've read this month.
To the authors on the list: thank you again for sharing your lovely work with us!! ♥️ If you read any of these fics, please make sure to leave kudos and a comment. It means a lot to authors! ♥️
If you spot any mistakes, or if I commented on a fic of yours this month and forgot to include it here, please let me know. I didn't leave it out intentionally, I'm just unorganised and this was a lot of work to pull together ♥️!
All fics are Wolfstar🌟 unless otherwise specified as such. Ordered alphabetically by author's name and in categories: 1. WIPs (that I've read/have updated in this month); 2. One-Shots; 3. Chaptered (complete); 4. Series; 5. What I've worked on this month.
You're the One (I Want to Go Through Time With)Â by @always-pining (2,5K/M/1 chapter)
Five times Sirius and Remus get married, and one time they don't. The first chapter is so funny and sweet, I'm excited to see where this goes!
your baby is the size of a... by @barkingatthemooninsteadofwriting (63,5K/E/14 chapters)
In which Remus is pregnant, Sirius is overprotective, and it's completely and totally adorable and addictive, even if you're not that into Mpreg
Remus Lupin’s guide to falling in love as an old man by @brandileigh2003 (24K/E/12 chapters)
Super sweet story older Wolfstar story that has Remus and Sirius falling in love in a retirement home, and all the struggles that come with it.
Silence within by @brandileigh2003 (8,5K/E/3 chapters)
Part of the Silence Between Us series which sees Sirius fall in love with deaf Remus - this work is Remus POV. It's such a beautiful series exploring their journey together <3
come all the way undone. by @heysaykitkat (59K/E/13 chapters)
This is a sequel to my life is set around you now. and like that fic, it's incredibly hot and incredibly sweet and I can't get enough of it!
Only Ordinary Shit by @always-pining (3,5K/T)
A story of religious guilt and indoctrination and finding love in spite of it <3
Would You Still Love Me if I Were Polyjuiced Into Someone Else? by @always-pining (4K/T)
Aaahhhh this was adorable! Speed-dating on polyjuice potion and the big question, would they find and choose each other again? <3
Sirius Black and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Shirtless Curse by @astralsunshine (8K/E)
I had so much fun reading this - incredibly funny fic where Sirius is cursed to walk around shirtless and Remus can't even look at him.
A Study in Ursine Lycanthropy by @astralsunshine (9K/E)
When Remus talks about turning into a bear, the rest of the Marauders assume it's a euphemism for wolf. It's not. So fun and cute!!! <3
:kermhole:Â by @birdiesnest (2K/E)
Mysterious puppets come in the mail. And get fucked. Really really funny and surprisingly hot!!
The Bonds of Friendship by brownleaves (4,5K/E)
James is sick of Sirius and Remus never coming on a night out and hexes them to be stuck together overnight. Yum yummie smut ensues.
Listen to Me Sigh by brownleaves (5K/E)
Remus overhears Sirius late at night and can’t help taking matters into his own hands.
Almost like holding hands by cannevanna (0,7K/T)
Remus and Padfoot's adventures in muggle London. Incredibly cute!
Night Travels by earlybloomingparentheses (6K/T)
Gripping horror vibes in Grimmauld place
Five Times Regulus Stopped Sirius From Leaving, and One Time He Let Him Go by @luxalupinlvr (Sirius&Regulus, 2,5K/T)
I will never not take the opportunity to devour and cry Black Brothers angst, especially if done this well!! <3
Forty-Eight Years, Twenty-Two Letters by @luxalupinlvr (Grindelore, 2K/T)
A series of letters exchanged between Dumbledore and Grindelwald during the last year of Dumbledore's life. The regret and loss is so well done, and my love for epistolary fics remains unmatched.
How can I help you? by Mikibou (4K/E)
Sirius calls a sex line and gets talking to the most awkward sex line worker ever. Really funny, sweet and hot.
Am I the A-hole? by @missmoonfrost (6,5K/M)
Regulus and Remus meet through Reddit; Remus encourages him to leave his abusive family, Regulus encourages Remus to make a move on his roommate
the moon sinks her claws deep by @mybelovedmoon (6,5K/M)
Remus is so injured he needs medical attention after the full moon, but the staff at St Mungo's call in a magizoologist to look after him instead. I loved the descriptions of the full moon and transformation process!
The bodyguard - or: My clients don't know why they hire me, right until they do by @mundrakan (3K/M)
Sirius is a personal bodyguard hired to protect Remus. Lots of twists and turns in this one!
The Many Moods of Remus J. Lupin by neilistic (7,5K/E)
Amazing story exploring Remus reluctantly going on a night out with Sirius during the first-wizarding war. Too much booze, sticky nightclubs, endless repressed feelings and ultimately falling into bed together. Highly recommended!
Light in August by newsom (21K/M)
This was amazing. Set during the summer between years 6 and 7 at Hogwarts, Sirius goes to visit Remus in Wales in the days surrounding the full moon. So beautifully written.
Born Under Punches by newsom (13K/M)
Gorgeous pining and getting together during the first wizarding war. Adored this one.
Dare You by orolin (10K/E)
A first-war getting together fic told through teenage shenanigans, loads of banter and the wedding of James Potter and Lily Evans. Really loved this!!!
Why don't you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite? by @shunstanpike (2K/T)
This was so incredibly funny!!! Sirius and Remus meet at a speed-dating event where they've both misunderstood the word camp. So sweet and so hilarious.
station to station by @steelycunt (26,5K/T)
A wonderfully gorgeous coming-of-age while deeply pining fic set at Hogwarts. I'll forever be crying over: "They’ve never done this before, but he’s missed it. They’ve never done this before but it’s also all they’ve ever done – all Remus has ever done is move after Sirius, adoring – and they’re dancing and perhaps it isn’t love, but all of a sudden that’s okay: maybe you get more than one shot at this sort of thing. There’s ghosts in this castle that tell of an afterlife – maybe there, they’re dancing. Maybe there it’s love."
the son and heir of nothing in particular by @steelycunt (24K/E)
Amazing getting-together during the first war fic - so gripping and well-written, couldn't put this one down!
on the issue of fever and delight by @steelycunt (12K/T)
Post-prank reckoning, sad and tragic and beautiful, and yes, I am making my way through this author's back catalogue, it's all so so good <3
in lieu of beaujolais by @steelycunt (18,5K/M)
Set after R/S move in together immediately post-Hogwarts, they're hooking up but both unaware of the other's feelings and it's devastating and gorgeous and delicious!!
the road is rocky by @sorealis (5,5K/E)
Exes running into each other at a wedding and trying their hardest not to rekindle the flame (and failing beautifully)
The Sweater and the Monster by @theblueblues-ao3 (10K/E)
What happens when you take the Remus Lupin has a big dick tag to its logical end conclusion
Found Heaven by @madefortherain (104,5K/T/21 chapters)
A super lovely part-texting, part-coffee shop AU. SO CUTE. There's so much loveliness and fluff, and background Jily, and Regulus isn't dead. What more could we want?! <3 <3
I'll Hang the Lights (Hope You'll See Them From Space) by marley1031 (7k/G/7 chapters)
A story of love and heartbreak told through consecutive Christmasses
Sirius Black and the Marauders (the fanfiction!)Â by @shunstanpike (20,5K/T/9 chapters)
I had the great honour of beta-ing this incredible fic! <3 <3 It follows the story of Josie and the Pussycat Dolls (but is also super fun to read if you haven't seen that film - like me), it's so cleverly done and there is so much amazing artwork throughout!
If the Night Runs Over by @always-pining (E/118K/2 works)
Since the wonderful B-sides are now completed I'll list this as a series. Really recommend this!! <3
Bakery-verse by @smodernlife (34,5K/T/4 works)
Au Pif is an amazing fic about a very funny misunderstanding that left me screaming at our boys to please figure it out. Please. Please. And there's some lovely fluffy B-sides too!
The Yule Ball of 1976Â (3K/T)
'You look nice,' Sirius says.
Every. Single. Week.
Remus wishes he wouldn't.
Or: Remus doesn’t want to go to the Yule Ball. He can’t dance, hates his dress robes, and has accidentally agreed to pretend to be Sirius Black's boyfriend so he doesn't have to find a date. That will be fine, right?
Written for the Houses Competition which meant I had to keep it under 3,000 words which was SO HARD. So, I'm currently working on a longer version of this :)
The Daily Horoscoop: Love, Loss and Second Chances under the Strawberry Moon (2K/T)
There’s a full moon tonight. But the stars are telling a much larger story.
Or: on the morning before the events at the Shrieking Shack, Remus reads Sirius’ horoscope out of grief. Sirius reads Remus’ out of hope. Neither of them believe a word of it, of course. And... yet -
Five times Regulus stopped Sirius from leaving, and one time he let him go (10K/T/6 chapters)
A story of indoctrination, brotherly love, holding on and letting go. Regulus POV, mainly Black Brothers focused but with background Wolfstar, of course :)
In Five Years' Time (WIP/E/133K/28 chapters)
A friends to lovers story set during Hogwarts sixth year, against the backdrop of the growing war, but also lots of banter :) .
I'm actually extremely triggered by being asked to reflect on my behavior and unlearn deeply rooted sexist and racist tendencies. You see I've been coddled like a baby my entire adult life and if you're not niceys to me I'll be forced to join the proud boys. This is a YOU problem btw
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Post-retirement Ilya goes all in on embracing showering for pleasure versus function.
He has an epic Sunday night Everything Shower and desperately tries to get Shane into it.
Shane doesn’t mind, but also doesn’t care.
Ilya makes (basically thirst trap) TikToks of a very perplexed Shane wearing face masks, spraying hydrating mists, wearing those pink skincare headbands.
Iyla posts videos of him rubbing lotion in with dumb captions like “#luckiesthusband🥵” and you just hear Shane muttering off camera.
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Everytime I cook up some bullshit with whatever ingredients I can find in my kitchen, I feel like a Taskmaster contestant creating a mystery meal for Alex to consume and I am always surprised that the food actually tastes good, just like Alex
I think my favorite thing about the Met Gala is that every year I learn how many celebrities I just don't know even in the slightest. It's the first time I've read or heard their name. The rock I live under is warm and comfy. Nothing will change next year.
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