Instead of What I Should Be Doing

Still feels weird that the same band made "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" and "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)"

It's like if Smash Mouth and Fall Out Boy were one band.

The Offspring are honestly a contender for the funniest punk band ever, made even funnier by the fact that Dexter Holland is pushing 60 now and has a PhD in virology.

popping my back isnt enough i need to be picked up and slammed against the wall like a wet trout

You know how when you use a bendy straw you pull the bendy part up before you bend it? I want someone to do that to my spine.

You cannot possibly guess where this is going

I ain't even ashamed how many times I watched this.

Lmao this is the content I am here for.

“Hot and bothered” in the sense that it is 90 degrees out and I am extremely annoyed

This is amazing!

Wow wow wow wow.

hate that english makes you say things like "that that" and "do do"

yeah. hate that that's something i do do sometimes

im screaming and crying and throwing up

ao3′s orphaning option is cool and a good idea but mostly very fucking funny. i posted this work for fun when i was younger and i still want people to be able to come back to it if they liked it, but now im an adult professional and i dont want it attached to my name. whats the word for that? umm, anonymously posting? no. i want something that indicates i murdered this story’s parents 

technically the story’s parents faked their own death and disappeared to go have an office job, and that’s even funnier

My goth fem hero 

Goth as fuck

All hail the queen of goth!

I love frisbee

That’s no frisbee, that’s a boomerang

this is the worst that anyone's ever done at bowling, we are so lucky to have it caught on video