Anarchy's Messenger

- the speaker system on the vat is usually off save for announcements, but Stratt noticed that many had trouble adjusting to living on a ship with no clear timezone and started playing white noise every morning and night to help the crew adjust (birdsong to wake them/soft instrumentals at night)

- but one morning (well after April Fools) the entire ship woke to sea shanties blasting through the system (Ilyukhina swears she had nothing to do with it cause why would she ever disturb her own precious hours of rest, Stratt gave her a look but dismissed her, while somewhere on the ship, Hatch was bent over laughing over his success)

- when first arriving on the vat, it can be hard for vatlings to adjust to the rise and fall of the waves beneath them, but after a while it becomes easier to walk and work even during rough waters

- that doesn't stop the sea sickness, though, after a particularly bad storm much of the crew was left incapacitated and nauseous including Eva (who would never admit it, but for once replaced her third cup of coffee with ginger tea), Grace (who couldn't stomach anything longer than half an hour), and Lokken (Grace finds her doubled over and in a rare moment of civility held her hair back as she threw up in a Petrova Task Force sickness bag)

- that experience was so terrible that Lamai ended up developing an anti-nausea medication that didn't induce drowsiness (which was promptly sold to Big Pharma to help support the vatjectives)

- when the next storm arrives, she is hailed a hero and employee of the month (ending Grace's three month streak)

- there are two universal truths of Stratt's Vat: one, the vatccent posses all, and two, no matter how strong your core strength is, the curse of sea legs comes for all

- after months of not stepping on stable land, the flight crew and the primary team of the PTF are invited to a last minute gala mainly for pr sake (much to the chagrin of Eva) which of course meant relearning how to walk on dry land in their hotel rooms

- it was much easier for some more than others, years of training gave the astronauts an advantage (though that did not stop Shapiro and DuBois from holding the other up, if anything it gave them an excuse), but the primary team, however, struggled to keep their balance straight

- if you were to analyze the pictures taken that night, you'd notice how the second in command kept a steady arm hooked around his Director, the two rarely apart when standing (for all her capabilities, heels and sea legs do not mix well)

- each part of the vat is given a notice board to place complaints and requests, but over time this evolved into being a space to post pictures taken of one another, and a silent competition formed of vatlings attempting to take the most candid photo of each other

- many photos of crew members sleeping in wild positions or even on top each other are posted (including a flight crew dog pile, komorov and lokken after a long day of testing a mini astrophage-powered centrifuge, and one posted by Carl who, during a traffic pile up after yet another meeting with some world power, snapped a selfie of Ryland and Eva asleep in the back seat, Ryland's head on Eva's shoulder, who in turn rested her own head on his)

- that photo went missing soon after, tucked away in a certain office drawer containing a fox charm and rosary

- a cat somehow ended up on board the ship and was only discovered hours after it sailed from harbour by a poor member of security who thought he could escape his allergies, only to be assaulted by cat fur

- he failed to capture the animal, and hours later it is found sleeping and huddled up in Eva's office under her desk

- it quickly grew on her, and the vat did have some loose mice running around so she allowed it to stay

- Grace named it Sol since it was perfectly orange, but no one realized it was pregnant until Lamai caught a rare sight of it while giving a report to Eva

- she ended up giving birth to three healthy kittens right under Eva's desk, and votes were held throughout the ship to name them

- the white one was unsurprisingly named Luna, the black kitten was named Astro for its fiesty personality and love for biting people, and the orange one was originally named Garfield since it was mistaken as a boy

- but as it grew it became obvious as being the sole girl in the litter, and after spending so much time around Eva grew an attachment to the woman, and a running joke was spread of the kitten being like her daughter, where the name Eve quickly spread and was adopted

- the four cats now roam the ship and were given the official title of chief mice repellent

Eva Stratt, the world's whipping boy.

---

this is what catatonia it is like for me, on the inside

feeling your muscles tighten at a slow and constant rate that you could not perform on queue. if i get stuck holding something while catatonic, my fingers will eventually dig into it so deeply that it hurts.

i get stuck in awkward positions. legs tucked underneath my body, most of my weight shifted to one side, head tilted, stuff like that. because of your muscles stiffening as well, this becomes uncomfortable in less than ten minutes, and agonizing in 20.

time passes differently. most of my catatonic episodes at this point last for upwards of 2 hours, even with ativan. but the two hours i spend while catatonic feel comparably faster than if i just decided to sit down and stare at nothing for 2 hours. (the "increased speed" does not make it more pleasant and it's not like dissociation i don't think. it's just like, usually at 1.25x speed)

i'm aware of my surroundings i literally just can do fuck all about them.

i cannot focus on anything more complex than a children's cartoon during it. i have tried putting on longer documentaries, but never get anything to stick in my brain. i still prefer longer things to watch or listen to during cataleptic catatonia tho.

my muscles burn during the whole thing from being so tense or not positioned "squarely" i.e. - shoulders hips and neck at a 90 degree angle.

i will be sore and exhausted the next day, which actually makes it more likely for me to become catatonic again.

i never know how long it will be before i can move again. 3 to 4 hours isn't out of the question (note: i feel lucky that its never gotten longer than 4 hours as catatonia can last for days)

the embarrassment. like, there's no shame in experiencing it, i know that. but it doesn't make me stop feeling like i wish i could crawl into a hole, especially when it happens in public. i hate being stared at on the best of days and being so stiff that people have to frog march you everywhere is just , it's so not fun.

screaming for help inside my head (i can't use AAC when i can't move, unless i was able to feel it coming on beforehand and set my switch up)

or, being so embarrassed that i don't want anyone to find me no matter how long it takes for me to come out of it.

when i am "coming out" of it, i slowly start to be able to move lighter body parts first, like fingers and toes, then hands and feet. the last thing i am able to move is my upper legs and torso.

i am basically dead weight during this time, and my body is hard for other people to move as well because of tension in my muscles.

any needing to go to the bathroom? either you hold it, or someone kinda has to frog march you to the toilet, or, you're gonna have to do laundry

it sucks

it doesn't stop sucking until a few days after the fact, because it's physically and emotionally exhausting

obligatory disclaimers that 1. these are only my experiences, don't use them as your only source of information about catatonia 2. my experiences only apply to cataleptic catatonia. i don't have excited catatonia, so i didn't post about it.

But

What’s with this blue guy in the background??

I can’t see any yellow markings so he’s not a Pantoran

The goggles hide any potential glowing red eyes

But it can’t be Thrawn because he would probably be grand admiral by now if it’s 5 BBY

Also Andy Weir:

"Probably asking if Sally’s Diner served gluten-free vegan grass clippings or something."

"This is a single man’s apartment with a single man eating a single man’s meal. I don’t see anything feminine at all. There’s nothing to suggest a woman in my life. Am I divorced? Gay? Either way, there’s no sign that children live here."

"So I’m a single man in my thirties, who lives alone in a small apartment, I don’t have any kids, but I like kids a lot. I don’t like where this is going…"

"The situation was dire and deadly, but it was also the norm. Londoners during the Blitz in World War II went about their day as normal, with the understanding that occasionally buildings get blown up. However desperate things were, someone still had to deliver milk. And if Mrs. McCreedy’s house got bombed in the night, well, you crossed it off the delivery list."

"Kids are smarter than most people think. And they can tell when a teacher actually cares about them as opposed to when they’re just going through the motions."

"God knows we could do with more parents being engaged in their kids’ educations, but there’s a limit."

“'You guys know about climate change, right? How our CO2 emissions have caused a lot of problems in the environment?' - 'My dad says that’s not real,' said Tamora.'"

"Thirty years. I looked out at their little faces. In thirty years they’d all be in their early forties. They would bear the brunt of it all. And it wouldn’t be easy. These kids were going to grow up in an idyllic world and be thrown into an apocalyptic nightmare."

"A modern nuclear plant can power an entire city for a year with the energy stored in just one kilogram of Uranium. Yes. That’s it. The entire output of a nuclear reactor for a year comes from a single kilogram of mass."

"Evolution can be insanely effective when you leave it alone for a few billion years."

“'That’s…! Dimitri, I want to hang out with you. Like—can we hang out? I’ll buy you a beer. Or vodka. Or anything. I bet there’s an officers’ club on this boat, right?' - 'It would be my pleasure.'"

"The Orlan-MKS2 is possibly the best EVA suit ever made."

"'I’ll write up a paper and send it along to the UN. We can form a committee—' - 'No, I said we’ll do it.” Stratt stood up. 'You’re with us now, Dr. Lokken.'"

"Well, I say 'his hand,' but maybe it’s her hand. Or some other pronoun I don’t have a word for. They might have seventeen biological sexes, for all I know. Or none. No one ever talks about the really hard parts of first contact with intelligent alien life: pronouns. I’m going to go with 'he' for now, because it just seems rude to call a thinking being 'it.'"

"The Blip-A control room probably has awesome-looking Braille-like readouts. Well, I’m sure it’s way more advanced than that."

"“'Because I have the U.S. Army,' she said. 'And that’s a damn fine army.'"

"I should be more culturally sensitive, but he threw shade when I talked to myself."

“And just like that another climate denier is born. See how easy it is? All I have to do is tell you something you don’t want to hear.”

"I am a tree-hugging antiwar throwback to a bygone era of protest politics.”

"'You are very heavy,' I say. I hope he doesn’t take that to mean Hey, fatty! Go on a diet!"

“'Are they artificial intelligence of some kind?”

Stratt asked. 'No,' said Lamai. “We do not have time to develop a complicated neural network. This is a strictly procedural algorithm. Very complex, but not AI at all. We have to be able to test it in thousands of ways and know exactly how it responds and why. We can’t do that with a neural network.'"

"There are old Eridians out there who were alive when Columbus discovered (a bunch of people already living in) North America."

“'I never would have thought a woman would be so sexist against women.' - 'It’s not sexism. It’s realism.” She righted a strand of hair that had blown into her face. “My guidelines were that all candidates must be heterosexual men.' - 'Why not all heterosexual women?' - 'The vast majority of scientists and trained astronaut candidates are men. It’s the world we live in. Don’t like it? Encourage your female students to get into STEM. I’m not here to enact social equality. I’m here to do whatever’s necessary to save humanity.' - 'Still seems sexist.'”

"I put my hand to my chest in mock surprise. 'Goodness me! DuBois appears to be black! I’m surprised you allowed it! Aren’t you afraid he’ll ruin the mission with talk of rap music and basketball?'"

"I leaned to Dimitri. 'Are all Russians crazy?' - 'Yes,' he said with a smile. 'It is the only way to be Russian and happy at the same time.' - 'That’s…dark.' - 'That’s Russian!'"

“And can you tell the goddamned corrupt government officials in North Africa to stay out of the way?”

“'That part will be easy,' she said. 'When this is all over, those governments will keep the blackpanels. They’ll be the industrial-energy powerhouse of the world.'”

“See, there we go,” he said. “Save the world and permanently lift Africa out of poverty while we’re at it.

“'Why would New Zealand pay a bunch of money to help Africa?' I asked. 'Because we’re nice,' Redell said. 'Wow,' I said. 'I know New Zealand is pretty cool but—' - 'And it was going to be a New Zealand–owned company that charged for the power,' Redell said."

"We have an unspoken agreement that cultural things just have to be accepted. It ends any minor dispute. 'Do it my way because it’s how I was raised,' basically. We haven’t run into anything where our cultures clash…yet."

“We’re part of the ecology, Ms. Stratt. We’re not outside it. The plants we eat, the animals we ranch, the air we breathe—it’s all part of the tapestry. It’s all connected. As the biomes collapse, it’ll have a direct impact on humanity.”

"It’s Russian for 'vodka.' How do I know that? Because I spent months on an aircraft carrier with a bunch of crazy Russian scientists. I saw that word a lot."

"This screen is just three columns of white text on a black background. The left is all Chinese characters, the middle is Russian, and the right is English."

"We need to raise a strong, solid generation of survivors. Right now we’re soft. You, me, the whole Western world. We’re the result of growing up in unprecedented comfort and stability."

"Do you think the United States—the most powerful military force of all time—is going to sit idly by while half their population starves? How about China, a nation of 1.3 billion people that’s always on the verge of famines in the best of times? Do you think they’ll just leave their militarily weak neighbors alone?”