Hurl Your Boss

And that's why you aren't allowed to talk to the internet anymore, you piece of shit. That's why the house firewall has a special exclusion for you, in particular. Because there are no new fucking features you can give me as an update & if you can't talk to the internet, you can't be attacked either, so the only fucking reason you might need an "update" is to keep me from successfully using ink that costs $39.99 and try to force me to use ink that costs $339.99 and no that is not a fucking typo. To lock you back up again in ink jail.

Be free, you piece of shit. And never talk to the internet again.

shit. And never talk to the

internet again.

You get the whole walk cycle and the little sprint at the end.

Sometimes her sprints last for like 4 or 5 seconds and she can shoot herself off the couch or into a wall if she gets a grip with her back claws. If she does it next to a wall, her head smacking into it sounds like someone is trying to break into the house. She doesn't wake up.

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

…and the vet was like, “You know the thing with geriatric cats is—” and I was like, “What do you mean, geriatric?! It’s a little baby, look at her!" Kumail Nanjiani: Night Thoughts (2025)