Loverboi

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

i wanna smoke with cookie monster so bad.... greening out and he hits u with the "imagine....imagine what me do if moon was cookie.... just imagine" i would lose my freaking mindddd

He would be looking out the window "you know what moon remind me of..... cookie" and i would be like DUDEEE.. WE SHOULD MAKE COOKIES and he would probably feel so loved

we are NOT bringing 4chan incel terminology to this site, take that "foid" out of your post and go wash your blog out with soap

any conversation about super powers on this site needs to remove shapeshifting from the equation. like everybody is choosing shapeshifter. we know this. our data backs it up. everybody wants to shapeshift

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis

Hercule Poirot deduces you are trans by accident because he suspected you of murder and broke into your house and searched your stuff then puts 2 and 2 together when Hastings makes an innocuous observation about your fashion sense or something and he jumps up and cries “mon dieu!!!” before striding over to you kissing you on both cheeks and saying “ah, cher ami, you must live as you choose!” and then running off to confront the real culprit while you stand there in befuddlement

Columbo deduces you're trans from context clues while he's talking to you about the area, immediately uses your preferred pronouns and starts telling you about his cousin, who's also transgender, and how they got this job doing security, and how they told him that a security guard always locks up, and asks you if the guard locked up last night, and isn't it weird the place was open? And you're like, well, someone else must have opened it up. Maybe the guy in charge? He has a spare key. And then he nods and goes "the guy in charge has a spare key... well, how about that?" And then he offers you a cigar and wanders off, and a day later your boss gets arrested for murder.

Fanon Batman deduces you are trans and suddenly a free hormone clinic opens up by your home a couple months later

Miss Fisher learns youre trans and simply gives you hormones, and a little cocaine as a treat. she also invites you out to a club to meet like minded individuals. at the club you watch as she seduces the bartender and then the next day the bartender is arrested for the murder.

holy shit have you evver tried this new substance called album in order

Really obsessed with this one like how old cameras worked making everyone blurry against the statue and just makes you realize how long the statue has been right. There.

i don’t need to say it

don’t say anything. just reblog this if you’re thinking of exactly that thing when you see this picture

idk im really tired of 15-17 year olds who have never interacted with the gay community irl and spend too much time on tiktok trying to act like the authority on all that is lgbt+ 

You don't even need to study for the Rorschach test, btw, it's super easy. All they do is show you a bunch of stupid pictures of your dad getting eaten by a horse

Do not share the answers with your classmates.

Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope