[insert cool reference here]

apparently vic’s vapor rub goes exitinct ? i’ve been using the same vapor rub for years and apparenlty it went bad in the 2010s ..

expired .

attaching something to an email is so scary. what if i accidentally put hard-core porn in there. i don't think i have any downloaded but what if i do and i attached it to the email. what then.

i like to run and jump in my own home just for the hell of it. i will sprint from the kitchen to my bedroom for no reason whatsoever. is it necessary? no. will i do it anyway? absolutely

op is a cat

"kung pow penis," a phrase commonly used in reblogs to indicate utter disdain for OP, has twelve letters, each of which (traditionally) must be supplied by a different user. the unanimity of disdain indicated by these twelve unrelated users has strong parallels to the requirement of unanimity for a jury—also traditionally of twelve—to arrive at a verdict. in this essay i will

K

U

N

G

P

O

W

P

E

N

I

love when my popular mutuals reblog my posts and they get notes fuckyessssss #nepobaby

oh my god I just saw the cutest thing in the world. little Black girl with beads in her hair for the first day of school and the beads were pink then silver then a bunch of yellow then beige then grey to make them look like pencils 🥺🥺🥺 brb I will draw an artist’s rendition

If u could bring dead ppl back 2 life with magic like in video games the hollywood stunt scene would be out of control. There'd be professional snuff actors winning awards for dying the best. Producers would be like "If u need somebody to get killed in a film call up Resurrection Eddie, nobody gets killed as good as Eddie"

ice water is awesome because you get more water in your water

you think youre out of water but then you check back in five minutes and woah! theres more water! the world is so beautiful

Look I know this is a scientific publication but you don’t understand— we need to include milk and cookies in the photo. We have to. Otherwise the science suffers

Everyone wish me luck on my date today I’m so nervous what if they don’t like me…

You show up and Michael B Jordan is sitting in both seats.

☝️only funny addition so far. I’m actually shocked nobody else thought of that yet

You gotta be really publicly passionate about things if you want your friends to text you. Bc people will forget to text you because they’re human. But if you’re really openly the friend who loves identifying ants your friends will think of you when they see ants. And they’ll text you “what ant is this [blurry photo]”. And then they’ll ask you how you’ve been and we should get coffee sometime. But if they don’t know what you love they’ll never know what you like

And then when the ant convention is in town they’ll be like dude… we should go to the ant convention. But they would never think to go if they didn’t know u loved ants

And sometimes you need to ask them to go to the ant convention. But you Will not get anywhere hiding your passions

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