[insert cool reference here]

I love emoji reactions so much. Don't know what to say but don't want to ignore whoever texted you? Boom. Lizard reaction 🦎

the situation with harry potter is kind of unprecedented in some ways imo because it is maybe the largest media franchise in history to be created & owned by a single person who still has direct creative control over it. who is also a billionaire with significant cultural/political influence. like the usual "no ethical consumption under capitalism" type excuses shatter on impact when the bigoted author in question is logging onto twitter every day saying explicitly that when you buy the tim hortons ravenclaw donut she is using your donut money to fund the genocide of trans people. like with big franchises usually there's at least a little more diffusion of responsibility than this

dump your stupid boyfriend get your ass online and scroll past my post

Made the worst brownies ever created just now

some kids came on the train and saw someone they knew hopping on yhe train at the next station. one of them goes "yo is that gay sam??" and im like ughhh. okay is that what we're doing. and then sam comes over and theyre like GAY SAM WHATS UPP and gay sam is like NOT MUCH IM GOODDD IM FRIED RIGHT NOWW and they were like classic sam. so. thats on me for assuming honestly

I remember one time I got INSANELY high off of edibles while playing Among Us, and it quickly became apparent to the other players online. I forget how honestly but literally anything "sus" I did was ignored by everyone because I was so fucking high. I tested this theory by standing in front of a body and the person that actually reported it didn't even mention me. The funniest part was when I was trying to do wires, I kept fucking up over and over again, so I was just standing in front of wires for actual minutes trying to figure it out. A small crowd of players gathered around me to watch and would get mad every time someone reported a body or emergency meeting because "she's never going to get her tasks done if you keep interrupting them." I don't think anyone cared about winning at that point, they just wanted to see the high crew mate succeed in her tasks.

THIS IS 1000% ACCURATE LMFAO. Thank you op

you used to be able to get a job just by circling a listing in a newspaper in red pen

this is my first time in the pacific northwest. we drove through a forest so wet and foggy you couldn’t see the bends in the road ten yards ahead of you and it straight up felt like a horror game until we emerged into a sunny valley with a rainbow over it and then we went to a taco bell and in it there was a guy dressed like a hot dog and a guy dressed like hamburger. is it all like this

Hey guys you should totally get into this thing i like. Yeah it's mid at best. It also aged poorly. You'll get nothing out of it at all. You'll like the idea of it more than the actual thing. But at least only takes half your natural lifespan to finish it

Gosh I’d love to give it a try. It’s just so hard to find the time with all the *describes a daily schedule that is 65% dilly-dallying*

being an early bird is soooo awesome taking the longest slowest most leisurely start to the day and it is now 8:25am

And this is of course not even mentioning the worm

I still love this website so much because it feels like the last connection we have to an internet that doesn’t exist anymore like I can come on here and scroll through posts that are literally just funny or beautiful or interesting with no intention to sell me something or influence me we are all just here for a laugh. Nothing is just for laughs anymore EXCEPT tumblr dot com

[Image description: Tweet by retired Fan (@ hippie swordfish) reading: hey asshole I'll See you in court...food court !!! We are friends /.End ID]