[insert cool reference here]

Fidel Castro

some bozo with the username laundryguy47 keeps jumping in to all my Halo matches and ruining them. what he does is he turns them into some kinda laundry RP. ok, listen, what i mean is, when he joins the game he gets on mic and tells everyone to go to a certain spot on the map and pretend like its a coin operated laundromat and we're all doing laundry there. and they just do it. everybody stops killing eachother like you're supposed to in the game and they go pretend to do laundry for the whole match. nobody even questions it, they all just do it like thats normal. but that's not normal. its sickening and it cant be allowed to continue

some of the sessions have been kinda fun though i gotta say. there's actually quite a bit more depth to pretend laundry than you might think. lately ive been experimenting with pretending to use fabric softener

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

another reason this is the only social media site i give a fuck to actually use is because you're allowed to add links to text instead of just having to paste a url into the body of your post like some kind of caveman.

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

funny thing about anxiety is sometimes it kind of breaks your sense of danger. like i am known for repeatedly putting myself in situations that make my friends go "bro you couldve died. werent you scared?" and the answer is 👍 yjeah. i did it scared. i do everything scared. i didnt know that was the actual important kind of scary because i usually have to ignore my fears to function in society. it will happen again. watch out.

fuck everything. whats the media people ASSUME youre into. what are people surprised that you havent watched/played/whatever

labubu was meant to be hanging off a kindergartners backpack filthy as fuck with no eyes left

Settlers of catan

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

im nonbinary in a way that doesnt really matter

good god when the mr clean magic eraser hits the stove......

the panties hit the floor

you know it brother

Cant tell you how many times I rawd*gged my husband after I caught him using a magic eraser to clean the pasta sauce I burned onto the burner like some kind of primordial insect

you know what i wish you would tell me