The Hive

mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter

EVERYONE GET NICER TO KIDS NOW

Haven’t posted about plastic in a minute. Rest assured, I am still hard at work eating all plastic on earth

hang on i gotta google something

americans are a saudi oil baron's idea of classy. brits are an american's idea of classy. the french are a brit's idea of classy. unfortunately the chain ends here since the french's idea of classy is also the french

I don't know jackshit all about Rob Pattinson or Harry Ford but they both occupy the same slot in my brain's "famous actors" file labeled "average guys who seem like they'd be equally fine with working at home depot"

i read this as henry ford and immediately started trying to guess what the twilight guy and the cars guy from my economics class have in common

hi i bet i could do a decent job

just tried to reference the xkcd "today's lucky 10,000" comic but I wanted to explain xkcd first, so I was like "you probably know the one about experts in the field overestimating their audience's familiarity with the subject matter" and uh. he didn't. love me some irony

ao3′s orphaning option is cool and a good idea but mostly very fucking funny. i posted this work for fun when i was younger and i still want people to be able to come back to it if they liked it, but now im an adult professional and i dont want it attached to my name. whats the word for that? umm, anonymously posting? no. i want something that indicates i murdered this story’s parents 

technically the story’s parents faked their own death and disappeared to go have an office job, and that’s even funnier