gay and tired

Tumblr is trying so hard not to let me post the funniest lent picture I've ever seen but I don't give up easy

There's a stairway to heaven and a highway to hell, but the midnight train goes anywhere. Trains are clearly the superior transit method.

cmon child safety lid you know it's me

Richard Nixon once called in staff to help him open an allergy-pill bottle. It was the childproof type of bottle, with instructions saying “Press down while turning.” The cap had teeth marks on it where Nixon had apparently tried to gnaw it open

Our Lady of the Damp and Rain

THEY/THEM COCK AND BALLS

rocky horror picture show asks what would happen if frankenstein’s creature knew its purpose from birth. it also asks “what if victor frankenstein did drag and a lot of cocaine” which is a frankly more important question

visual gag where someone is thrown against a stained glass window and lands in the exact same pose as the holy figure depicted on it

imagine the most meanspirited, unlikeable, rude, bitter, self centered, negative person you can think of. not a rapist, not a murderer, not an abuser. just a charmless, tactless, dyed in the wool asshole you wouldn't want to spend two seconds with. now assume they get sick, not with the flu, but with a long term, serious illness that limits their ability to provide for themself. a society in which that person is left to die alone because nobody likes them on a personal level is a failed society.

and the thing is, no matter how likeable or charming or cute you are, peoples' patience runs out. the friends who drop everything to rush you to the ER the first time you shit blood tell you to stop being so tmi the fourteenth time. people might give you a couch to crash on the first week after your shitty ex kicks you out, but by week eight, you better have another place to stay. people run out of time, patience, money, compassion, energy. there needs to be an impersonal option, a real safety net that isn't going to dump you when you become inconvenient

He's so versatile.

weird teenage girl syndrome

apparently it’s called “autism”