playing at profundity

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

i just don’t get it. where are all the women. where are all the women in your fanfictions. are they all out of town? did they all go on vacation together? do they all have a dentist appointment at the same time?

@ariaste

So cool.

does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

crazy how much i could get done if i didn't have "doesn't want to do things" disorder

@uwathebestgirl

Lady Oxford Comma, I will forever defend you and be by your side. I swear, you have my sword, my shield, and my honor.

it turns out that making big positive changes in your life is great but it also forces you to reckon with the years you spent not really living and makes you feel like you're carrying the corpse of a 20 year old girl on your back

that last one is literally a LOOK

the weather determines if I’m going to be evil